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 Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends   Topic: Don't be a flaker

 Post subject: Re: Don't be a flaker
Posted: 04 Feb 2019, 3:18 pm 

Replies: 54
Views: 1,516


Social anxiety makes me flake. Going to the thing just becomes more an more overwhelming the closer it gets to it, to the point where I feel I'll burst if I go. I hate to flake and I usually do want to go deep down, but when I force myself, the anxiety worsens and I end up being all locked up and mi...

 Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends   Topic: What’s it like to have friends as adult?

Posted: 19 Dec 2018, 1:56 am 

Replies: 11
Views: 646


It's difficult. Most people are either preoccupied with their spouse/kids/significant other, or they already have strong established friendships and aren't really looking for new relationships. I find that acquaintances can be obtainable, but it's near impossible to advance the relationship further ...

 Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends   Topic: "I can hear you over here," touches my buttons

Posted: 11 Dec 2018, 11:35 am 

Replies: 9
Views: 465


I can hardly resist an opportunity to push those buttons RIGHT back, my go-to response being "I can hear you too!" in the most deadpan way possible.

 Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends   Topic: Was this rude of her too say to me?

Posted: 11 Dec 2018, 11:27 am 

Replies: 3
Views: 395


While it seems like a rude thing to randomly blurt out to someone you just met, it also seems odd/unwise to leave an important or valuable possession like a handbag in the care of stranger. Lol. If I were you, I wouldn't want to be responsible for a stranger's bag. SHE could be the untrustworthy one...

 Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends   Topic: People assume I'm stupid

Posted: 11 Dec 2018, 11:17 am 

Replies: 8
Views: 508


I do understand that it gets exhausting because it's constant and occurs over and over, but i think the best way to respond is to calmly and politely defend yourself and prove the person wrong. In your example, you would just directly tell her, (without saying it in a mean way,) actually, I read tha...

 Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends   Topic: Friends

 Post subject: Re: Friends
Posted: 08 Dec 2018, 12:44 am 

Replies: 14
Views: 537


I think that texting once a day would either be a really close, strong friendship, or a really extra clingy one, depending on the subject matter and how each person perceives the messages. My friends don't text me at all. I have a VERY small handful who send me a Snapchat 1-5 times a month. I have o...

 Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends   Topic: Are the key to good friendships low expectations?

Posted: 08 Dec 2018, 12:35 am 

Replies: 40
Views: 1,438


I would say yes, low expectations help. People don't like to feel backed in a corner, and I think sometimes friend expectations can seem too demanding. I once had a friend say I needed to stop depending on her so much, because she wouldn't be able to come through every time and couldn't bear to know...

 Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends   Topic: Celebrating birthdays?

 Post subject: Re: Celebrating birthdays?
Posted: 08 Dec 2018, 12:14 am 

Replies: 5
Views: 513


I used to ask friends what they're doing for their birthday, because I wanted to be invited or help plan and I wanted them to feel like I cared. However, they would either say they didn't know or didn't care and then go and make plans with someone else, or they would say they already have plans with...

 Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends   Topic: facebook woes

 Post subject: Re: facebook woes
Posted: 30 Nov 2018, 12:10 pm 

Replies: 3
Views: 442


Facebook is all in all a nasty place. The good thing is that it allows you to "unfollow" without "unfriending". So you can still make and keep connections, but you don't have to look at the garbage they post. I never share anything publicly on mine and have unfollowed 75% of the ...

 Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends   Topic: Wha! I got invited to friendsgiving!

Posted: 17 Nov 2018, 10:48 pm 

Replies: 1
Views: 258


I'm excited!! ! But I hope that I can play it cool. There may or may not be other people I know, which can honestly go either way. I just hope I can mingle and have fun without freaking out too much or letting myself be excluded just because I don't know people. (so any party/mingling advice is welc...

 Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends   Topic: Does anyone else push people away unconsciously?

Posted: 09 Nov 2018, 1:00 pm 

Replies: 6
Views: 446


I'm 99% positive i do, though in my mind, i really can't recall any time that someone else has reached out or showed interested in knowing me. i'm completely baffled watching everyone make friends with each other around me. even though i can't understand, i feel like i must give off "go away&qu...

 Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends   Topic: Hanging Out with a Friend

Posted: 28 Oct 2018, 10:29 pm 

Replies: 6
Views: 427


The only good friends I have have moved far away, but when they were local, I mostly only liked to visit them at their house. I don't really like outings and usually am either broke or just too cheap to go spend money on an outing. I prefer making dinner together and movie night or game night. I als...

 Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends   Topic: "Unfollowing" or unfriending close friends on social media

Posted: 26 Oct 2018, 10:48 am 

Replies: 4
Views: 497


Sorry it's long but wondering if anyone else does this or if you think it's acceptable... I don't use social media much at all, but I do some. I need it for some work related groups, and I also have some friends who only communicate using those platforms. The nature of my work is meeting a lot of ne...

 Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends   Topic: Is reacting to anger with calmness a bad thing?

Posted: 24 Oct 2018, 12:19 am 

Replies: 7
Views: 447


You may be interested in a book called "Games People Play" by Eric Berne. It addresses something similar to what you are talking about. I will briefly explain as clearly as I can... What Berne defines as a "game" is essentially an interaction in which people act and react emotion...

 Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends   Topic: When NT's complain about rejection, anxiety, awkwardness...

Posted: 24 Oct 2018, 12:09 am 

Replies: 46
Views: 1,586


Everything you have stated is true and I agree- it is why autism is so painful on so many different fronts. Wd rather be dead at this point as that wd be less painful than going thru life with nobody at all Please don't say that! Venting and lamenting aside, there is always hope... you are meant to...

 Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends   Topic: Low Social Energy

 Post subject: Re: Low Social Energy
Posted: 23 Oct 2018, 9:39 am 

Replies: 6
Views: 421


Totally relate. I end up being a person who self-sabotages or becomes a no-show to events because the prospect of going becomes overwhelming or exhausting. I have very few friends/functions that I'm invited to and I really want to have those things in my life, but it's almost like I can't recognize ...
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