Joined: 22 Mar 2017
Hi everyone, I've enjoyed browsing the posts around here and thought I'd jump in. I'm 37 y/o with an "official" dx with ADHD at the age of 18 after behavioral/social problems throughout my youth. My 19-month-old daughter was recently referred to services for showing some autistic traits (doesn't acknowledge strangers AT ALL), "stims" herself by stomping, making odd, repetitive vocalizations. At home, she's a little more gregarious - she'll play games with her mother and I, make eye contact, etc. I've also had odd behaviors throughout my life. When I was 5-10 years old, I was obsessed with the Thomas Guide and pretty much remembered all the roads in Southern California. My mother called me a "freeway map." I also drew detailed road maps and designed my own intricate cities. I'd like when my family would drive to new places, because I'd get to see the new freeways. I've also always felt "different" and I tend to space out and go into my own internal world at inappropriate times. I've always felt a bit socially awkward and have had trouble connecting with people. It's gotten a lot better over the years as I've actively practiced social skills and core mindfulness, but my empathetic "blind spots" are still exposed at times - for example, I was in a work meeting discussing the death of a client's family member, and I made the comment, "Now what is the family going to do for money?" I was quickly corrected by a coworker who stated, "How about the grief the family has to go through?" I often pace around when I get stimulated and sometimes I have imaginary conversations with myself where I fantasize about favorable social outcomes. I've felt intensely lonely and depressed at different points in my life (not so much now). I've felt the frustration of trying to desperately connect with others unsuccessfully. I demonstrate some intellectual rigidity and I've had the same shirts for the past five years.
So I'm thinking something might be "up" with me too, and my daughter's need for services highlights my own personal struggles I've encountered in my life. When I went to Kindergarten in 1985, there were no screening and developmental services for kids entering school. The kids who were "slow" just got tossed into the "Developmental" class. Meanwhile, my problems were just enough under the radar not to set anyone's alarm bells off, even though my K and 2nd grade teachers tried to get my parents to send me to a psychiatrist due to my sometimes aggressive, seemingly defiant, and oblivious behavior. At this point in my life, I see no need for an official diagnosis, as I have nothing to gain for it.
I'm just glad to be here, and glad my daughter can get the help I didn't have.
My neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 155 of 200
My neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 82 of 200
I am very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Location: Portland, Oregon
Joined: 19 Feb 2013