Does anyone enjoy social interaction?

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I am actually a nightclub promoter and love to organize parties and meet new people. I am new to interacting with other Aspies and I have no problems meeting people or with social interaction except for the fact that I rarely have sex or date and have never had a girlfriend. I also have a lot of other symptoms of Asperger's but I do enjoy partying and going out regularly. I like the party scene so much and the music so much that I have taken up an obsession with it. I am wondering if anyone else actually likes to party and meet people but just has trouble doing so. I always feel inferior to everyone though and it is almost as if I am hiding the fact that I am unsuccessful with the opposite sex. I am just not sure what to do sometimes and try so hard to be "cool"

In my early 20s i was going out a lot, and i was strangely very successful with girls, and have been able to hold down long relationships, my difficulties there come when they want to live with me.. i don't really want to live with anyone if that makes sense, not that i want to sneak around, just i like space. and feel all claustrophobic if someone is there a lot day and night.

I always looked at bars or clubs in a strange way, a necessary evil, if you didn't want to be alone it was the done thing to meet people when out clubbing. and was able to separate it in my mind i think, by saying to myself, ok its busy, but all these people don't know each other, like myself, they only know the small group of friends they have came out with. where a party is different, often everybody knows everyone else, and i felt left out.

To be honest i have not been out much at all since my late 20s i can count on one hand the amount of times I've been clubbing since like year 2000, and when i do go out i feel i don't fit in at all anymore, I'm older than most in there, and my social skills have got worse, and my anxiety levels are higher.

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

You are running right into the brick wall everyone with Apergers runs into--at some level, we don't pick up the social clues that "normal" people pick up without even trying. It is quite likely that many girls you have met would like to go out on a date with you, but you just didn't pick up their invitation. More likely, you just felt uncomfortable and didn't know what to do, like someone yelling at you in foreign language--now what???

Just a few thoughts:

As a nightclub promoter, perhaps you may have access to people who share your interest in "clubbing"? The behind-the-scenes people.


Of course, verbal cues/invitations are not the only means of communication, and I think in a club with loud music, a verbal message might have less importance and impact than all other means of communication.


I'd suggest, maybe rather than "trying to be cool", to be yourself - your most relaxed version of yourself. Many females can see through behavior if it seems unnatural. Also, you're more likely to attract a female who is more compatible with you by being yourself.


Females love to talk about themselves, but they may not dump the whole enchilada on you if you just say "hi". Maybe have a few ideas of topics and questions to break the ice in mind before you're in the club.

If you are watching any particular females in the club who seem like they are unhitched, notice which song they get up to dance to - then maybe you'll have something to talk about, like the music.

Being in the New York clubs makes it a lot more difficult because a lot of girls judge you by the way you carry yourself and recognize body language more so than elsewhere. There is a lot more room for rejection before I say anything at all. I have no problem having a normal conversation or meeting people but I feel like everyone is just unattracted to me and treats me as inferior even though in reality I am a lot cooler and smarter than them but I guess that just goes along with being an Aspie. I just have trouble figuring out what to say in a loud club where you can't really have a conversation and I am not sure how to appropriately approach a girl to dance either.

I haven't been in an NYC club in decades.

If I was a guy, I think I'd have more luck meeting a girl at a concert, but that's just me, and
I'm not a guy, and a bit older, and I have no idea what dating and clubbing are like these days.

I think one of my peeves with some females is their superficiality.

Welcome to WP!

To WrongPlanet!! !