Hi, new and unsure.

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Hi, my name is Kirstie and I'm 22 years old next week I tried to post on a different site earlier but something wouldn't work. I'd been doing some research previously and had seen this site, so I thought I would have a go at posting on here instead.


Basically counsellor, who I am seeing for mainly for depression and anxiety mentioned to me a couple of weeks ago, after seeing him for several months, that a lot of what we have spoken about makes him think I may have aspergers. I'm not sure I can really get my head around the idea at the moment for a few reasons but so much of it does provide explanations for my past and present difficulties. However, I think that some of the symptoms just don't seem to fit at all. For example, I've always been quite good at sports, I can understand jokes, metaphors and sarcasm, though I hate metaphors because although I get what they mean, they just don't make sense!! I know how to behave in social situations, though I stick very much at the quiet and reserved end of things, feeling uncomfortable and spending most of the time in my own head (as I do most of the time anyway, to the point where I never actually feel 'present' and feel like I'm on auto-pilot). I think I'm generally able to read situations etc. quite well although it generally feels like hard work. I had anorexia when I was 13 years old and still have issues with food/weight now and was also diagnosed with OCD at 14 years old. Anxiety and depression are still a big part of my daily life and over the last 6/7 years developed issues with chronic pain.
I just wondered what anyone's thoughts were, as I'm switching between agreeing with my counsellor, then dismissing it and thinking maybe it's just me and being an introvert and a worrier and maybe even social anxiety or something? My counsellor has said that he is going to speak to his senior about referring me to someone who might be able to help me a bit more but I wanted to try and see what anyone thought here.

I'm done a few of the online tests which seem to indicate to varying degrees, that I am on the spectrum. I tried to put the link to one of them in my post but I'm not allowed as this is my first post but I've put the results of some just to give an idea of the scores I'm getting.

AQ test = 32
EQ score = 23/45.
SQ score = 41.
Your Aspie score: 102 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 117 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits.

Well, I wouldn't rule it out. There are a few traits that I don't fit into anymore that I did/might have in the past.
Welcome

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Thanks.
Would aspergers include being able to read facial expressions etc. but finding the whole situation quite overloading and hard work? Also, I've read about not being able to understand social cues etc. which actually I think I can, but I don't know whether it's because I feel like my brain is always working at maximum capacity in social situations, it doesn't feel easy.

I can really relate to the meltdowns too. They've been quite bad and more frequent recently. There have been times when they haven't occurred so intensely or frequently but in my current job (support worker for adults with special needs) it can be extremely demanding on my coping resources. My sleep is so much poorer at the moment, with waking up in the night added to the difficulty getting to sleep and the general poor quality. I feel like I'm constantly on auto-pilot and especially at work, it is often the only way I can function because I cannot deal with everything, it's all too much. I feel like maybe the sensory issues if it's possible (?) stem from not being able to understand, articulate and verbalise my emotions which are so frequently overwhelming and although I'm generally okay with bright lights, loud noise (to some extent), smells etc. the more I'm closer to a meltdown emotionally, the less I'm able to deal with these things as well.

Welcome Kirstie

Nice to meet you! Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Thank you

Can I ask how/when you were diagnosed? My counsellor has said said something about speaking to his senior, to find out about referring/putting me in touch with someone but I have no idea who or what yet.

Oh gosh, well I was diagnosed at 13 so it was parents who did all the diagnosis stuff.
But first ask yourself, do you feel a diagnosis is necessary at this point?

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What you describe is too close to call. If you are on the spectrum, I would guess its on the light side. Just as an aside, you can be quite NT physically (ie. sports) and yet autistic in other areas. It was like that for me.