Hi. I'd like to introduce myself. I'm currently 20 years old. When I turned 19 I decided to finally confront some of the problems I've had in my life. I always new I was different mostly in my thoughts, what I was interested in, and even physically. I started researching on the Internet and thought I had either ocd or aspergers.
I went to therapy for OCD. I finished but I still have problems with certain things. I had more of pure O ocd. I had repetitive thoughts and fears. Fears that I didn't lock doors, checking things over and over, that I could purposely hurt people even though I don't want to, making lists, repetitive thoughts, and rituals involving even things out like tapping or having my socks even.
I also have symptoms that I think could be apsergers. I'm going to list things that stick out to me as possible things that could be aspergers and would really appreciate it if people that know aspergers could tell me if they think evaluation would be a good idea for me or if they think that I have Aspergers.
When I wish in 4th grade I become obsessed with physics and Albert Einstein. I tried memorizing the periodic table of elements. I wasn't always so successful in understanding the information or remembering it though. I could study these things for hours on end. I never played much outside or with other children. Throughout my life I've had certain technological obsessions magnets, electricity, computer programming that I got interested in when I was young and would spend hours involved in. I love grammar and foreign languages. I often used words that someone my age wouldn't use. I enjoy going through dictionaries trying to learn words if I think I could use them in the languages that I'm learning. I can spend and entire day doing this. I've always had strange eating habits which I assumed are OCD. I only use spoons specifically plastic spoons no matter what the food is. For three years in a row I had pancakes every night for dinner then for 4 years or so chicken fingers. I was pretty anti-social and interested in my own hobbies when I was younger. I would only have friends if they were interested in the same things as me. I've only had a few close friends in my life. I've never had a girlfriend in my life nor have a had any physical contact with a girl. I've always been fairly shy. After forcing myself to be more outgoing for years I think I'm fairly socially confident. I think sometimes I inappropriately smile at people in conversation which confuses people. I'm pretty clumsy I have bad depth perception and a friend mentioned to me one time I have a unique gait, I sometimes forget I'm holding a cup and when something distracts me I'll drop it. I've always thought I walk slightly awkwardly. People often tell me I have a lot of weird quirks and ways I do things. i.e I tend to do things the same way every time. I'm very bad with math and numbers. I have a lot of difficulty copying a phone numbers if sometime tells me it and people able to keep the 3 digits in my mind until I write it down. I've enjoyed success in school. Most people think that I'm above average and intelligent. My favorite classes were English and Social studies. When I fail and things I want to be good at I have serious anxiety.
If there is anything else someone would like to ask me I'd be happy to answer. Please tell me if its just my past OCD, I'm weird, or have some sort of Aspergers. Thanks you all for reading.
02 Oct 2007, 10:16 am
