Dealing with subjects you don't like or find difficult....

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Hi guys, I have a question..

My son is in first grade, he is in a general ed class. He is having some difficulty... when the teacher asks the class to do an assignment.. that he finds difficult.. he tells me that he tries, but then finds himself thinking about his special interest. (dinos and the ice age) Then he is in trouble, for not completing, or doing said assignment..

Can anyone offer any suggestions, to handle assignments you don't like.. how do you handle staying on task, when you don't like the task or find it difficult..?



It's possible he should not be in a general ed class because of this.. so I'll ask you guys.. how do you feel about general ed vs.. special ed? Or an inclusion classroom vs. a non inclusion classroom, what's the pro's and con's of each???

Thanks for your input, I really appreciate it.. I want to see him thrive.. but don't know what's the best scenario.. as I haven't been in school for years..

I still struggle with this, and I am 34 years old lol. Actually it was a lot easier when I was a child in school, because I was curious and wanted to learn. The best advice I can come up with is to find a way to make it fun if possible, or come up with a reward system to motivate him to complete it.

I still have trouble with it, until I get "hooked" into the project. Once I've zoned in on a task to be done, even if it's something I don't like, I get a bit obsessive about it. The catch is that your boy will have to learn how to do that, how to focus on the objective regardless of how he feels about it. Successful completion of the task has got to be enough of a reward, as there are not necessarily other rewards for doing everything we do not like in life.

For someone of that age, I'd suggest breaking it down into much smaller projects. As an example (albeit a distasteful one), if he has to copy ten sentences from a book, break it down by sentence. You finish a sentence, you can spend five minutes thinking about dinosaurs. Then you do another sentence. Then you get to think about dinosaurs again.... If he has to take breaks, if he can't do a focused attention for long enough to do the sentence, that's something he'll need to work on. It's unrealistic to expect it to just "pop" into place - it may have to be a word-by-word thing.

The world is not a special ed classroom, so it's best if your child learns the necessary coping mechanisms now. It's much easier to learn how to adjust to "the world" when young than it is if thrown into it later without having dealt with it on a daily basis. There are no IEPs and "special modifications" outside of school/ once he finishes high school. If he just can't cut it mainstream, then at least he has the special ed option and by all means use it. But there are things he'd learn in a mainstream classroom (not the course material) that he will need later on that he will not get in special ed.

Best of luck.

Thanks, for your good suggestions! Johnny is still young, has an immature pov and extremely motivated by getting what he wants.. He will have to learn the value of success. even if that success comes from doing something you don't necessarily want to do.. It's hard, he has alot of opposition to doing things he does not find enjoyable.. getting him in to the school every day, is another daily fight/stress, around here.. seems he's bullied alot, and when the teacher is stern, he interprets it as, she's mean to me, she dosen't like me.. and he is very sensitive..

Ps.. I'm so glad you guys are here!! I value and respect your opinions, more than words can express.. I know you are the voices of my son fast forward 10 years or so...! Thanks!

I would agree with the points Nan makes...many of us learned to function inspite of no DX and no specia services and it has helped us become more independent in some ways.

There would be one exception that I can think of and that is if he turns to his special interest as a form of stimming(self soothing), because not being able (I mean really wanting to and tryng to but unable to do it the way it is being presented) to leaves someone with so much anxiety. I think it is one of those "loop things". The inability or past failures in doing a particular task leads to anxiety which effects the ability to focus and complete the task. He may only be able to explain this as..."I don't want to do "A", it's to hard, I dont like it, I would rather think about "B". Before I would ever assume that something is just psychological I always want to rule out a cause that is beyond the individuals control. By doing so you might uncover a learning issue (dyslexia or dyscalcula) or a sensory issue or auditory processing disorder. Those things can be accomidated and the teacher can find ways of working around his difficulty so that he can succeed in things he is currently failing at and that will lessen his anxiety and increase his self-esteem.

Well, if you haven't seen a neurologist to rule out learning issues, I would consider doing so. They have some very basic and painless tests for problems. I am 44 and learned how to read even with unDXed dyslexia but I process the words in a very different way and this causes a lot of problems with spelling. This was a huge issue all the way through college(and current employment). I just don't like to think of a another kid missing out on the help that could allow them to function at the top of their ability. I also had problems with auditory processing disorder and couldn't see the black board(Parents refused me glasses for years because they were Christian Scientist and thought they could pray me better ), so what may have looked like stupidity, not paying attention or defiance were actually physiological things beyond my control. Now that we have the science to understand these things, (even if most of the school officials are clueless), no child should be "left behind".

Wishing you both all the luck in the world. You sound like a great mom, that will be his best resource for progress.

I tend to zone out a bit, too. I try to make myself get the work done because I've made a commitment to doing well in school so that I can be successful later in life. It's working, too, because I've been making straight As and Bs. So I guess the reason I've been successful in school is because of pure self-motivation.

I try taking him down the line... if you want to be a palentologist, you have to go to school... but he's so in the moment.. maybe an actual reward that he can see, like, if you complete your work, this weekend, we can go to the Discovery Channel Store.. Straight up Pavlov.. do the behavior, get the reward. It sure would be easier, if it were always that simple..

I have the same problem. If I find a task too boring I can't do it. People say I'm lazy and I need to understand that I have to do things even if they're boring. But it’s not that I don’t want to do it, but I’m actually not able to. Because no matter how hard I try, my mind is stuck thinking about something interesting.

It’s not a matter of simple laziness. If the task I have to get done is more physical, like cleaning or grass-cutting or carrying things or whatever, then I can work very hard even if I don’t enjoy it, because it doesn’t require me to take my mind of other things.

Whenever I have a student who has trouble with math (a sadly common occurrence even in college), I try to focus them on ways that math works in their areas of interests. For students who enjoy sports, I link math with sports statistics, for instance. Have you considered attaching the probably dull and uninteresting task he's given in class with his principal interest in prehistoric animals? Doing so would probably require some collaboration with his teacher, but it might serve as a way of focusing his attention.

I had a similar problem with some subjects, luckily not that serious.

One thing was using an eggtimer. You work for 20 minutes on the hated subject, after that you can work for 10 minutes on a good subject, then you take a 10 minute break.

I also had a friend who had similar grades as I had, we used to compare grades. That worked as a stimulus to work harder.

Another thing would be to use the knowledge in a pleasant way. I decided to work harder for English to be able to understand certain television series on BBC and certain books not translated to Dutch.

I think that it's helpful for somebody with Autism or Aspergers to be around kids that are "normal", as we tend to copy what we see, so for me at least, it made it slightly easier to be "normal"
I think that he should have access to a spec ed room though. Maybe they can explain a subject to him using dinosaurs and/or ice age stuff?
I'm not sure, it's really your decision as a parent. He'll probably be teased either way (from my own childhood experiences), so don't base that on you decision.

A lot of us have trouble doing things “to get them done”.

I think your son will need more persuasion than “it has to be done”. Either a reward or a temporary removal of some cherished privileges. You’re probably never going to be able to teach your son to do things just to please you or a teacher, or for some abstract long term “life goal”. Heck, I still dread thinking about anything more then a month into the future and I’m 28.

Often incorporating a persons special interest into their study makes them motivated to learn. If he has any home assignments to do, then you might find that using his special interests in the scenarios/tasks of the assignment will give him both benefits...being able to engage in special interest while completing his work. Not only will you not have to fight with him to work, but it might be quite enjoyable.

Although, when I was at school, I really had no choice but to do assignments as they were (until I dropped out)...so I don't know if the above method will help based on a first hand experience.