Singing coworkers?

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So I recently moved desks at work and now I sit next to a woman who likes to sing at her desk. I find this incredibly distracting but when I ask her to stop she gives me a truckload of excuses like "The others find it calming and they'd get stressed out if I stopped" and "You'll never make it through the holidays if my singing bothers you." Then she told me to get some earplugs so I didn't have to hear her. What do you guys think? Am I being unreasonable by asking her not to sing? Or should I have to go out of my way just to be able to focus on my job?

This one is hard. It could be like stimming, in which it is really hard for someone not to do.
Maybe you could learn to wear headphones which will mask the noise? She did suggest you could do that.
The beginning of the holiday season is often a good time to find a new job.

I'd hate that too; it ruins my concentration to have folks chatting away, singing, radio playing etc. when I'm trying to work (whistling being the most excruciating, that makes me physically wince!)

OTOH, as BTDT points out, sometimes that kind of behaviour is really hard for someone to stop. I have a habit of narrating out loud the steps I'm going through when doing a job, for example, which I just don't notice myself doing (and often including quite a bit of cursing.)

What are the chances that you could ask to move to a quieter desk (assuming there is one)? That would be the best 'reasonable adjustment', as there would be less risk of you being stigmatised for 'spoiling' an environment that your co-workers are happy with or being seen as argumentative.

It might also be worth sounding out your other colleagues if you can; she may say that "others find it calming", but it could be that everyone else is just as annoyed as you are but are too polite to bring up the issue. I would be very surprised if you are alone in finding it annoying - even if she sings well, it would be very unlikely that her taste in songs is shared by everybody in the workplace.

That's the weird thing about me. I can concentrate through any amount of talking but the smallest bit of music will completely derail my concentration. I've been known to walk halfway across the office to ask someone to turn their music down that the other people around me say they couldn't even hear. So yeah headphones and earbuds aren't an option for me. And what really gets me mad is how defensive she gets about it. Like it's her God given right to sing where and whenever she wants and how dare I ask her not to? I tried to keep it private by using our office chat program but when I did she stood up looked at me across our desks and said "Well it's your funeral!"

Beware. There is no such thing as equality in most workplaces. Same thing with the concept for fairness.

Are you asking me? I work in fraud prevention. My bosses don't like me to say much about it but basically I investigate suspicious orders and decide if they're fraudulent or legit.

Perhaps you could go to personal or management/supervisor & tell them that her singing makes it difficult for you to concentrate on your job & you'd like suggestions on how to handle the situation

And, of course, if you do go to management, always remember; "attack the behaviour, not the person!" You don't want it to sound like some kind of personal crusade, you need to stress that you are looking for a solution whereby both you and your singing colleague can be happy and productive.

How annoying!

I would say "the thing is, I CAN'T work at all when someone singing and I don't want to hear my heartbeats either, so the easiest way is that you stop singing or I have to talk to our boss"

It makes me so uncomfortable when people sing. I'm cringing just thinking about it.

I would think hard before bringing it to the boss though. If she were made to stop singing and it was obviously you that complained that could have serious negative consequences in how people treat you. The management cant punish you for making a complaint, but coworkers might label you as a "snitch", especially if they really do like the singing. I try not to go that rout because I know that I cant handle the social backlash.

On the other hand others may be annoyed as well and might be relieved if someone got her to stop. I would bring up her singing casually with other people when she isn't around and see how they feel about it. If it got around that people found it annoying she might rethink her actions. Generally if someone is singing people will tell them how good it sounds just to be polite. She might just think everyone likes it because nobody else has the guts to say it to her face that they don't like it. You probably aren't alone.

Noise reduction headphones if all else fails.



FF

Well, this is nice. Apparently she's decided that if she can't sing, she's going to yawn like a horse every ten seconds. This might be even more distracting, and it comes with the added benefit of me not being able to report her for it. What am I gonna say? "Sir, the girl beside me keeps yawning! Make her stop!"?

You're being harassed. If she's no longer singing, it's possible that others found the courage to ask her to stop, once you did. She'd blame that on you; doesn't sound like she takes much responsibility for her own behavior.

About harassment - it isn't just one thing. It's the whole collection of things, over time, and the pattern they form. About harassers - they're very good at convincing everyone else not to see the collection or the pattern. They will admit to one event that looks trivial in isolation and try to make you out to be the problem for "overreacting" to that one event as if it were a one time occurrence. The real issue is that you are having a perfectly valid reaction to that one event times 24/7/365.

IIRC, though, you're working at a churn-and-burn type place. If she's been there for any length of time, she probably has some crony connection to the managers (even if only to one of them). So they aren't going to care about staff turnover, and if she's "got an in" you'll be going long before she does.

I dunno, funkypunky. I know you like the job - but with each thing I learn about your work environment I am asking myself, why *do* you like it at all, at this point? (I'm more sympathetic to you than that may sound.)

Wish I had a good and simply-attained solution for you.