Corporate Team Building "Camps"

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In the U.S., can a company force you to share a room in a lodge overnight with somebody when it is in the city oyou live and work in? The company I work for believes in all this new age Oprah-esqe teamwork crap and they are making me go to a "camp" for 3 days at the end of the month. The place is 30 minutes from my house and I absolutely do NOT stay overnight in strange places, especially in a room with somebody I barely know. I would like to know if they can legally discipline me or fire me if I refuse to stay overnight. And if they do, can I take legal action?

You are probably an employee-at-will which means they can fire you for having on the wrong color shirt. You will probably have to take part in the exercise or lose your job.

If however, you do a job that would not be easy to replace, you could discuss this with your boss and see if they would rather keep you on and come up with a compromise rather than force this down your throat and risk losing you. If you can be replaced however, forget it.

What if I have a A.S. diagnosis and give it to them? Wouldn't they have to make *some* accommodation? And yes, I live in the oh-so-progressive (look, an aspie using sarcasm) state of Oklahoma, so I am an at-will employee.

It just seems WAY outside their rights as an employer to tell me that I am not allowed to sleep in my own home. And shouldn't I be paid for every second I am following their orders? If they tell me to sleep for 8 hours in a strange room, shouldn't they have to pay me overtime for that?

They also like to force everybody to give each other backrubs. Isn't that like telling everybody to sexually harass others and in turn be harassesd?

Corporations have way to much authority in this backwards country.

There are several legal issues here.

First, if you are not salaried (paid by the hour), they can't make you stay someplace without compensating you as you are "on the clock" for that time.

If you are salaried, something like this probably falls under job duties they can say you must perform.

If the issue is AS-related, then you do have grounds to object to staying in a same place or rooming with another based on your "disability."

Can you be fired? Well, employers do what they want and it's a question of proving anything. If you refuse to do this, I'd take the issue up with your personnel department AND any EEO officer in the company. Be prepared to file a complaint with the authorities that handle such matters at the same time if you suspect there will be a problem.

As your disability makes doing some portions of the workshop a "no deal" matter, they must accommodate your needs. The workshop, arguably, is not related to the duties of your job.

I think your screwed. With neither a union or croud of fellow workers standing behind you your pretty much "that guy that was up tight"....

That sounds like good self-protective behavior to me. On the medium bad side, the individual can be noisy and stupid and drunk, and it can go from there.

If this thing is scheduled for the end of July, you have several good options and time to go with the one that, in your best judgment, is the most promising.

'I have a family matter I need to take care of. I'm sorry, I absolutely have to take four days off.'

That's a lie. It's a lie of deflection. Mind you, I'm kind of by-the-book, tend to take rules and ethics more seriously than the average person (at least it seems that way to me), and often really do attempt to practice I-thou authenticity even when the person has demonstrated they're not real likely to reciprocate (need to get better at reading when is a promising time and when isn't, and take it in medium steps), that I might go out of town in order to justify the lie! You do not need to.

If you feel you can half-way talk to your boss and he or she has a sense of humor: 'I'm a little different, right? I pretty much march to my own drummer . . . '

A big advantage is that you've made up your mind. This thing ain't even on the table.

Or, lay a book about Asperger's on the boss's desk

'Look, I don't want to make a big stink about this. And I don't want to go formal . . .'

At that point, you should have the boss's attention. 'Can we work on this together . . . How about just a good excuse.'

'Well, I object a little more strongly. And I probably have the Americans with Disabilities Act on my side . . . again, I'd rather not go formal.'

Or, go formal BEFORE the scheduled camp. Be proactive. Don't let them start a discipline process. Start with whatever internal processes the company has. And please don't go it alone. Yes, you probably could, but you don't need that stress (save your energies for political activism! Or artistic projects, or taking college classes, or whatever of your own choosing) Maybe someone who respects your work from inside the company. Maybe even the company's official mentor. Maybe a community leader from outside the company. Or if need be, a lawyer.

Take it step by step.

And trust your gut step by step.

The answer to your questions are:

Yes, they can make you go.
Yes, they can fire you if you say no.
Yes, these camps are stupid, don't work and are just as awful as you can imagine.

I went to one many years ago and it was one of the most humiliating, degrading experiences of my life. almost as bad as high school. I'm so glad I'm semi-retired now and don't have to do that crap anymore. Unless bound by a contract ALL employees in the US are at will employees so I hate to break it to you, You're screwed buddy.

Yeah, I know I'm screwed. I am terrified that I'm going to have a panic attack or complete meltdown at this thing.
It wouldn't be *quite* as bad I didn't have to touch or be touched by anybody. I really don't feel it is within their rights as my employer to demand this from me.

It is fully within their rights to make you go. They're paying for it and it is considered part of employee training and development.

It is not the going that I disputing. It is some of the actual activities. I honestly don't think it is legal for them to require me to stand in a circle and be massaged by a stranger while in turn giving another stranger a massage. Would it be legal for them to tell me that I have to allow somebody to grab my balls and jiggle them about or I'm fired? I don't see the difference. It is inappropriate touching in either case.

I'd check with an attorney. The massage thing sounds like it is going over the line. I never had to do anything that stupid at training camps.

A massage you do not wish to receive or give is sexual harassment even if the touching is not of a sexual nature by itself. Being ordered to give or receive physical contact that is unwanted is all that matters. I'd contact the EEOC with a copy of the camp's itinerary. Maybe if everyone was okay with the exercise, it would not be an issue, but I think your management has it head up its ass with some of the stuff they are doing.

However, the company may not know that it's employment at will! (so to speak)

Many "human resource" departments have been very successful at turf building and turf defending by taking a kernal of valid issues and exaggerating them, and in this case, this can work to your advantage.

Consider playing the ADA card (by simply mentioning it). The results might surprise you. Especially if you follow it up with, 'I really do not want to go formal. I just want a positive resolution, for all concerned. And I'd like to get that in writing if you don't mind.'


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It sounds like junior high in which once people are there, others attempt to bully them to engage in activities. Not cool. Not cool at all.


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And you absolutely have the right to decide when and how to be touched.

If a person offers a backrub and the person offerred can accept or decline and either one is perfectly fine and either one is graciously accepted as your decision, that is a healthy environment. That's a communicative process. That's where people are valued, their boundaries are valued and respected. And once the decision is made to respect a person's boundaries, it is so much easier to perceive those boundaries.

The whole camp thing is stupid on the part of the company, but it does not need to blur over to disrespect.

a team building camp? *shudders*

Sorry had no advice about it but this is the first thing I thought when reading the thread.

I think you're screwed. But if you're willing to risk it, you could try asking your boss if you could attend the "team-building camp" without having to spend the night there.