"You're too smart to be working at McDonald's" etc

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zer0netgain
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30 Apr 2014, 6:36 am

Sadly, this is common, even for NTs.

If you are really smart, great things are expected of you. Sadly, being smart doesn't equate to being successful or that seeking out a high-powered career will make you happy.



tarantella64
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30 Apr 2014, 8:11 am

It's a guy thing. Most men are socialized to feel low, low, low if they've got menial jobs because the presumption is they won't be able to support a family, and supposedly you're nothing if you can't get a woman by promising to support her. (Women are already nothing in this system, so if you're a woman and you've got a menial job it's forgivable, unless you live in a place where everyone's supposed to be competitive/interesting.) The same system accounts it a pussy-whipping to pay a penny more in child support than the judge forces you to, so you have this spectacle of guys who'd prided themselves on providing totally screwing their ex-wives and children in and after divorce.

I'd be very happy to work part-time in bookstores again, but unfortunately it's true, you can't support a family that way.



MissDorkness
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30 Apr 2014, 9:16 am

SilverBear wrote:
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Does anyone else have this problem? You work a menial job (or jobs) and people give you an attitude, often subliminal, that "you can do better."

They don't understand that for us, keeping sane is a full-time job in and of itself.


I am new here, and could not agree more.

My whole life was about my brain. Special schools. "Accelerated" this and that. Tests. I was expected to Become Something Great...like a Supreme Court Justice or an astronaut. I studied and agonized, trying to choose a career that didn't frighten and depress me. No luck. I ended up starting my own company and the money is great but I was still feeling incomplete and kind of miserable. A month ago I applied for a job washing dishes in a restaurant and got the job, and although it's been painful adjusting to being on my feet so much, I have to say I love it. I organized the whole dish washing system, the ergonomics of the kitchen, the whole flow so it all runs more smoothly (mind you, it's not my kitchen but nobody is complaining). You have to be efficient. You get immediate results. Perfectly prisitine dishes, sparkly glasses, shining silverware. The chefs talk to the prep cooks, not to me. The customers talk to the servers, not to me. What's not to love?

My company makes me money, so minimum wage does not bother me. I wish I'd just taken a job washing dishes in high school and stuck with that. This is the best job I have ever had. I have time to think. Hours to just work, move and think. That's really all I need. People find it funny. They look at me strangely when they ask what I do for a living and I proudly announce, "I'm a dishwasher!" I don't bother to add that I also own my own company, because it's the dishwashing that's making me happy, not the company.

One of my sons is a lot like me and he has worked at Subway for the past eight years. He likes the routine, the "system". Yes, he could "do better" but could he "do happier"? Could I? I'm not so sure.

That's awesome.

~smiles~ I have to admit, of all of the work I did in high school and college, dishwashing was probably the one I enjoyed the most, and for all of the same reasons you listed.
Oh, and, after I took control of the dishwashing area and improved it... the manager said he was going to break his rule of never hiring women as dishwashers (he only hired them as waitresses and cashiers. He didn't originally hire me, I worked in the shop next door to him, but, had a reputation as someone who would come in and pick up any shift, even midnights, when folks called off, and he was in a pinch a couple times and called me... and kept calling me). He thought the manual work of the dish room wouldn't be good for girls, but, I proved him wrong.
~shrugs~

I never got told I was too smart for that, or for Cracker Barrel or Arby's or Hardee's or TJ Maxx... everyone always seemed to expect me to work that type of job... folks were shocked when I took a professional office gig.

:? I'm still not sure how I feel about this, or if I should feel anything, but, after I started this new job a couple months ago, my coworkers told me they'd looked me up online to get a feel for my personality, since we'd be working together so much. They also commented on the other people who'd been in for interviews. So, I asked them what the VP and Managers had said about how the interviews had gone? The VP said I'd be a good personality fit and had passion for the industry. One Manager said I'd given her a way to solve a problem. The other manager just said 'that girl is smarter than any of us, she could have any one of our jobs.'
I've never had anyone talk about me like that (at least not that I'm aware of).

;) Oh, that second manager just became my boss. I like working for him, we actually communicate pretty well.



MissDorkness
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30 Apr 2014, 9:30 am

TheTigress wrote:
I'm in the EXACT same situation. I hate my job at Subway (the customers are absolutely VILE) but I'd hate having a full time job with less free time to myself even more so I "tolerate" it. I also like the flexibility of getting requested days off to go on vacations/other things once in a while. Honestly, it wouldn't be too bad if it weren't for the customers and that *** ***** $5 dollar footlong promotion they do once or twice a year. I prefer to stay in the back and do the duties back there instead of making sandwiches but sadly we don't have a designated "back room monkey" option at mine.

Oh, yeah... when I worked at Hardee's, I was hired as a cashier. A month later I was promoted to supervisor (I was the only one who didn't spend all free time socializing, I cleaned instead :roll: :lol: ), and I immediately began training my cooks to work the cash registers, so I could send them up front and I could do the work in the back (I didn't stay there long, but, all of the cooks that worked my shifts later went on to be supervisors, so that was a nice side benefit).



kraftiekortie
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30 Apr 2014, 10:31 am

Hi, Miss Dorkness,

I bet you would be a great Transitions Counselor for people on the Spectrum--the transition from school to employment.

That's what I want to do, eventually, as well.

I enjoy it when one emphasizes independence over dependence.

Do you believe, wholeheartedly, in your state's nickname?



MissDorkness
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30 Apr 2014, 10:34 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Hi, Miss Dorkness,

I bet you would be a great Transitions Counselor for people on the Spectrum--the transition from school to employment.

That's what I want to do, eventually, as well.

I enjoy it when one emphasizes independence over dependence.

Do you believe, wholeheartedly, in your state's nickname?


Aw, thanks... that's really meaningful work. I've known a couple of people who've done it and really respect the way they could help people.

Fantastic goal.

I grew up in a family who blamed everybody but themselves when things went wrong, so, dependence was never an option for me. Ha.

I like my work in software, though. I help people without having to spend too much facetime with them. ;)


Haha... The Show Me state? I'm not a native here, but, I do like the motto. I am more a fan of actions than talking (unless I get going on one of my obessions, then I'm hard to shut up).



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30 Apr 2014, 11:27 am

SilverBear wrote:
Quote:
Does anyone else have this problem? You work a menial job (or jobs) and people give you an attitude, often subliminal, that "you can do better."

They don't understand that for us, keeping sane is a full-time job in and of itself.


I am new here, and could not agree more.

My whole life was about my brain. Special schools. "Accelerated" this and that. Tests. I was expected to Become Something Great...like a Supreme Court Justice or an astronaut. I studied and agonized, trying to choose a career that didn't frighten and depress me. No luck. I ended up starting my own company and the money is great but I was still feeling incomplete and kind of miserable. A month ago I applied for a job washing dishes in a restaurant and got the job, and although it's been painful adjusting to being on my feet so much, I have to say I love it. I organized the whole dish washing system, the ergonomics of the kitchen, the whole flow so it all runs more smoothly (mind you, it's not my kitchen but nobody is complaining). You have to be efficient. You get immediate results. Perfectly prisitine dishes, sparkly glasses, shining silverware. The chefs talk to the prep cooks, not to me. The customers talk to the servers, not to me. What's not to love?


I have to say, I think I would also love to be a dishwasher! Or a bead sorter, or something in a factory line where the work is the same and without much variation. However, that sort of job means I wouldn't be able to surf the web on my downtime LOL

My first job was as a cashier. I did well with the money part of it but not the people part of it. I got customers upset quite a bit. I wasn't "Miss Friendly" and I didn't want to make small talk, because there was work to be done!! ! I thought I was going to simply sweep floors when I was offered to work there, but took the cashier position because I thought it would be better money, which I desperately needed. I worked on and off there throughout my childhood. I was given a lot of leeway because the owners knew my family. It turned out to be a very negative situation in the end, but that's another story.

Did you ever see the Onion's "Autistic Reporter" on the web? I had a big laugh at his skit on interviewing the prisoner, because I could TOTALLY UNDERSTAND his enthusiasm of certain aspects of prison life LOL (of course they didn't cover getting raped or beaten as a downside). Other skits in the series aren't as funny and are a bit cringeworthy, but I did enjoy that particular prisoner skit. Please don't flame me for it!



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01 May 2014, 3:41 pm

I currently work full time at a combination of three different jobs. This keeps things interesting, I do different things for each job, and expands my social connections for my next job hop. I hate customer service, but I've since developed a work persona that has made this much easier. I still can't sell for beans, but people aren't scared of me any more. Which is a bonus. I am grateful that I live with a family that can support me, a lot of people don't have these options.


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Argyn
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01 May 2014, 3:59 pm

Right now I'm actually worried I'll have to get a menial job to support myself and get stuck in that category.
I graduated with a university degree over half a year ago, and I haven't even been invited once for all jobs I applied to.

I fought so hard for this degree, they told me to drop out multiple times but in the end I got it. Now I feel as if it doesn't make a lick of difference.



melmaclorelai
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04 May 2014, 1:55 am

I'm twenty years old and never had a job of any kind before despite applying to a lot of them. I'm close to completing an undergraduate degree in a field that doesn't have much (if any) job security and I'm not entirely sure I want to work in the industry it's designed for anyway. All I know is that it's really difficult to get any sort of job in these times and that the ones typically offered to people my age (retail, sales, fast food, hospitality) sound hellish and unsustainable to me. I do have concerns about my future because of it.


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04 May 2014, 8:05 am

dizzywater wrote:
I have been told that for at least the last 20 years as I do one easy, menial, undemanding job after another. It's the undemanding bit which is so attractive. So I work in a kitchen, so I get paid very little, but I don't have the sticking power to do anything more.
I could train for something, get a degree and all the debt, then find I didn't want to do that anymore. Seen others do it, and I know I would be a cert to do it too.

I used to help my stepbrother with his science & maths homeworks, he just took a bit longer than me to pick it up and we were in the same year at school. He is a doctor now. Once while trying to get me to consider the degree/debt thing, my mum told me my stepbrother had said "I remember she used to be so smart".
Now hold on a minute, if doctors are so smart how come he doesn't know that caterers don't get their brains surgically removed as part of the job? What's with the "used to be"? I am still smart. Being judged for not wanting responsibility in my job does not change that.

I really don't get the whole social/work hierarchy thing, don't know if that is being female, or aspie, or both.
I have time to do my own stuff, part-time work is bearable, more work wouldn't be! I tried office work, it's not for me, unless it was in wages, I enjoyed a job doing manual books, payments and wages for a while, alone as the only office staff.

My favourite ever job was as a chambermaid, I have a whole lot of interesting stuff going on in my mind while I work on autopilot.


This is me too, I also work at chains mostly too because they don't even care if you can cook, so when you go in and can cook they kiss your ass lmao. :D

The hierarchy is BS that's why, the people in the various management positions are not in charge in the organizational structure but in charge on a social scale which is hard for us to determine... I might treat one boss better than another due to some arbitrary (to NTs) reason like they have a nice smile or are kind to me, and I find out later that that boss is low totem pole man or woman and I have basically "set my place" as another low totem pole person.... :roll:



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08 May 2014, 7:14 pm

I used to get that all the time when I worked at a physical job that paid 10 dollars an hour. To pass the time during shift, and also in between shifts, I'd talk with my co-workers about all kinds of things- history, science, technology, art, music, law, even politics. I'd let them lead the way with subjects, or mention something I'd read/heard, and we'd get to talking. Eventually they asked about my education, which led them to questions like: "So why the hell are you working here?"
Sometimes if they'd held up their end of the conversation, I'd ask them the same thing.