Odd Incentive

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Last year my 11 year old son had a very dynamic social studies teacher. His grades shot up like crazy and he developed a very keen interest in social studies. This year he was due to test for a gifted program in social studies but decided he would not take it. He said that social studies was a drag. His grades are still good but today he admitted that it was the teacher that spiked his interest last year and that his current teacher is very boring and is killing his interest in social studies. I was like this too! But I felt there was something wrong about it. I did real well when I liked the teacher. Is this an aspie thingie? I mean shouldn't a kid like the subject matter just for itself and shouldn't it not be contingent upon who's teaching it? Shouldn't a kid score well for himself but not to impress the teacher? This makes me think that my son might lack a sense of self. (maybe due to asperger's) This scares me because it reminds me of my cousin who didn't want go to college because he had no girl to build his life around. He was supposed to go to college for HIMSELF. This is unhealthy and I don't know where it's coming from. I HAVE to break my son out of this sort of thinking. From the beginning of kindergarten, I tried not to say, "I'm so proud of you!" Instead I'd say, "This is wonderful! You must be so proud of yourself!" I want him to succeed for himself, not for me, his dad, his brother, or anybody else other than HIMSELF.

Having a teacher ignite an interest in learning is not solely an Aspie thing. Most students are "activated" by an interesting, engaging teacher who can spark their interest. Can he go back to that other teacher? Can he be a mentor of some sort?

I am NT and my chemistry teacher was that spark for me. That class opened up a whole new world for me when I was a very apathetic teenager. I still see him sometimes so I would suggest to get the two together so that he can continue to feel enthusiastic about learning.

That is not the issue there. Your child has an interest in social studies just as we all have an interest in life itself, and now a boring teacher has negatively impacted that interest just as people around us can be discouraging in life.


It is for "himself" that your son has an interest in society and now seeks to learn from others just like him.

Old cliche from education school: students are usually too interested in the teacher and not interested enough in the subject matter; teachers are usually too interested in the subject matter and not enough in the teacher.

Kids who are unusual learners often do much better or much worse depending on who their teachers are. I think your son should have taken that test, because classes for the gifted are often more Aspie friendly than regular ones (unless the teacher is intolerant of differences, which is often the case). The next time he has a teacher he clicks with, work with him to figure out what that teacher is doing.

I think you are over-generalizing by connecting this incident to your cousin's experience in college. Please be aware that most parents of kids on the spectrum have tendencies toward it themselves. Jumping to unsupported conclusions and freaking out about them is something people with Aspergers do all the time. It's not healthy or helpful, though, and I encourage you to consider whether or not you need a little help dealing with anxiety.

Temple Grandin got her love of science because her high school science teacher.

This is a human thing, not an aspie thing. There are very few gifted teachers out there, but when a kid gets one...oh my....they excel. It is a beautiful thing to watch.

This is not an AS thing.

I've seen some teachers and instructors who's goal in life seemed to be turning people off to the subjects they taught, and tended to succeed at it.