I am LOOSING IT!! ! Please help me!! ! DESPERATE...

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We dont have too many troubles at the dinner table. But for some reason my son absolutely hates the smell of milk and cold cereal (which my daughters eat every morning) so I wake my son up a half hour after the girls, so they can eat and be getting dressed while he eats. We (AS mommies) have to do things a little differently dont let people make you feel bad. So we dont eat breakfast together? who cares.... my son started the day without a scene WOOT! Plus he has a hard enough time in school, id hate to send him to school already upset.

bigbear~ ditto!

Thank you all for your advice and comments I will seriously take them under my belt,
-> I really like the seperate tables one, evryone can feel special, and no one is left behind.

I really appreciate everyone trying to help me through this... and in turn help them through it.


althought this temper thing is getting way out of control, baby girl needed stitches the other day because of a fit thrown in anger (not directed at her mind you) but she got caught in the cross fire.....

Hi Momof3-

Respite care! You need it girl!! If you crack what will become of your brood? Dealing with issues like you face daily can lead to depression. But you may have already known that if you are a nurse. I totally hear your frustration. Sometimes Chris can fly off about seemingly nothing and hit his sister and/or brother. Now the 2 yr old knows about hitting. Great! Often it scares me because we have no idea how to deal with it. We are seeking help through our regional center. You can try that as well. They at the very least should be able to refer you to some support resources.

I wish there was some magic wand to wave to help you.

Katherine

You need respite care. I don't know what state you live in, but in Northern California from Sacramento to San Jose and in San Diego there is an organization called Eastfield Ming Quong EMQ. Look them up. They have all sorts of services, and if you don't live in California, then they'll probably know where services are available free.

If you don't take care of yourself, as Katherine says, what will become of your brood?

On the brighter side of things. It'll probably get better as they get older. A good child psychiatrist can help too (they are few and far between).

Hope it helps.
Rafe

Just wanted to make one comment that may also help in recieving services if you can follow through on it.

You said your Asperger's diagnosed son did not begin speaking until age 3.5. It is a prerequisite for Asperger's that, "There is no clinically significant general delay in language (eg: single words used by age 2 years, communicative phrases used by age 3 years)." His language delay signifies that he should be classified as autistic, not asperger's which would probably qualify you and him to recieve more services.

The Dr's attribute his slow speech development to a seperate hearing problem he had as a baby,
At 6 months he had concurrent ear infections which required corrective surgery at the age of 2.5 yrs old, he has had 6 'blown eardrums' thropught out that timespan. They coonsider his delay because prior to surgery he was dX with only hearing at 50% of the average, he is doing much better since after the surgery he was at at 86% of the average. After his surgery he progressed his speech development slowely at first essentially hearing things for the first time, but at 3.5 he progressed quite quickly at that point. They said that the speach delay was not part of the AS DX, but he is considered 'High functioning Autistic/AS officially'. Thanks for the suggestion though....

It sounds like the 7 year old with the ADHD and tourette syndrome is one that you
need to focus on. The problem with having both ADHD and tourettes is the drugs that
treat ADHD tend to make tourettes worst. I mentioned a drug guanfacine to another
parent in another thread. It can be used to treat both ADHD and tourettes . Though
it does not boost attention like stimulant drugs. Has he tried it?

I have one Aspie that won't sleep and sounds just like your son and I have my "ants in the pants" son. We have never taken him to get tested, because that has always just seemed to be his way. My aspie child hates when his brother is breathing. BREATHING!

Can't stop that. He has a nasty addiction to oxygen. So we have the constant fighting. I just wanted to say that you are not at all alone and maybe that might help. I will pray for you while I am praying for me.

Way too much advice :lol Here's more;

I second the person who suggested separate meals. Having someone who is "sullen" is much better than being a tornado. if you alternate fairly, then your kids don't have a legitmate complaint. If you are sitting with them each time and the baby is included, then really you're still having family time.

Just divvy it up on an every other day basis, not a reward system or anything.