Does your child like to act like a baby?

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DW_a_mom
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26 Oct 2010, 12:51 am

My 13 year old does a bit of a baby act when he is feeling particularly stressed. It's mostly a voice and balling up / cuddling thing; nothing like a poster above was describing. I am not aware of any kids who take it that far.


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BabyJhonny
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26 Oct 2010, 2:03 am

beware that the "baby act" as you called it can progress as they grow older in to full blown Infantilism. If this occurs there could be a possibility of your child becoming an Adult baby (like me) or a Diaper Lover both of these have nothing to do with real children or Pedophilia. it is a form of escapisim and a way of seeking Comfort, Security, Warmth, Trust and Love. I Sincearley hope that none of the children mentiond on this board become Infantilists. While their is nothing dangorus about it (except maybe the odd case of nappy rash) there are social problems accosiated with being an infantilist. 1 (for example) is the fact that the majority of the geniral public have a misconception that all infantilists are either Pedophiles, Criminals, Sick, Disabled or Perverted This is not true. for example take the "Diaper Love" This is the only catigory i know of in infantilism that has a sexual elimeant to it. The Oxford English Dictionary Defines the Word Fetish as "A Sexual Atraction to a Non-Sexual Part of the Body or Object" a Diaper is inherrintly a "Non-Sexual Object" Diaper Lovers are only atracted to the Diaper itself, not the person that is wearing the diaper. 2 (for example) most infantilists have a much harder time finding a partner, the majority of the infantilism community is Male with only a few Female infantilists out their in comparison, for this reason it has been herd of for Adult Babys and Diaper Lovers to try and have same sex relationships because of the difficulty in finding partners that are compatable. While it is true their are millions of us who are Infantilists it is also true that it is very difficult to find each other of the internet. Adult Babys (like me) have no sexual elimeant to them. They simply wish to return to a time when their was no emotional pain, no bad memories, when comfort, love, security, trust and warmth were showerd down on them from all around by every one they met. As for figuering out why your children like to be babys, I sugest to the parents that have posted on this board that you read some true life stories of how some Infantilists got into it. There is a set of plot developmeants that are common to all True Life stories of how infantilists became intrested in diapers. By reading the stories you may notice something from the stories that your child or family life or childs life has in common with the story. Things that had an effect on me was my so called father and the way he started abusing me when i was 3, the constant lack of friends, the constant bullying throughout my school years, the constant arguing with my mum, being put in psychiatric hospital 4 times over the course of 21 suicide attempts, wetting the bed when i was younger, the constant blame i always get from my mum because 2 years ago i was an obbsessive compulsive liar, now im an obsessive compulsive truth teller to the point were telling the truth sometimes gets me in trouble, always being behind with my peers ( i couldent tell time till i was 21) these are just some of the things that had an effect on me, but i list them so you have an idea as to what you might be looking for.
Here are some links to informational sites.
understanding infantilism
littleab abinfo
Wiki Infantilism
Here is a good place to start looking for True Life Stories about how other Infantilists got into diapers.
daily diapers story index 2



DW_a_mom
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26 Oct 2010, 12:08 pm

BabyJhonny, while I appreciate your unique experience, I'm not sure that I would, as a parent, put infantilism on the list of things I should be concerned about. Most children go through multiple phases of wanting to act like babies, and most children leave those phases. Without extenuating factors (which the things you listed are), expressing a desire to revert to early childhood, or doing a baby act, isn't something a parent should find alarming. If parents start to worry about too many remote possibilities, they'll be frozen with fear and unable to act effectively as parents, or they will work excessively against perfectly normal childhood behaviors - an overreaction that can trigger all sorts of different problems. We just can't consider and deal with every possibility, and this one seems remote to me.

You make a good case for watching the known issue triggers: abuse, bullying, parents failing to learn to communicate effectively with their child, parents not properly understanding or validating the child's stresses. Allowing a child to grow up with any of those troubles is likely to create an undesirable result. For you, that undesirable result was infantilism. In a different individual, it could be drug use. And so on. Parental focus should be on avoiding known triggers, not one possible outcome of those triggers.


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angelbear
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26 Oct 2010, 4:40 pm

Well put DW. You're right, my son's baby act is a pretty small thing to worry about at this point!



BabyJhonny
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28 Dec 2010, 2:57 am

DW_a_mom wrote:
BabyJhonny, while I appreciate your unique experience, I'm not sure that I would, as a parent, put infantilism on the list of things I should be concerned about. Most children go through multiple phases of wanting to act like babies, and most children leave those phases. Without extenuating factors (which the things you listed are), expressing a desire to revert to early childhood, or doing a baby act, isn't something a parent should find alarming. If parents start to worry about too many remote possibilities, they'll be frozen with fear and unable to act effectively as parents, or they will work excessively against perfectly normal childhood behaviors - an overreaction that can trigger all sorts of different problems. We just can't consider and deal with every possibility, and this one seems remote to me.

You make a good case for watching the known issue triggers: abuse, bullying, parents failing to learn to communicate effectively with their child, parents not properly understanding or validating the child's stresses. Allowing a child to grow up with any of those troubles is likely to create an undesirable result. For you, that undesirable result was infantilism. In a different individual, it could be drug use. And so on. Parental focus should be on avoiding known triggers, not one possible outcome of those triggers.


True but its pretty hard to avoid bullying as a trigger when sending children to school is required by the govermeant. So unless all parents who are concernd about there children wanting to act like babies are willing to pull there kids out of school and home school them instead, I doubt that bullying can be avoided. Ad i doubt that realisticly all parents concernd about this would be willing to home school there children anyway. Children arnt able to express there emotions and feelings as well as adults espeshaly younger children, i know that sounds really ironic because im not very good at expressing my emotions or feelings either because of my Aspergers Syndrome.
So it is also importat to take in to account that if it is attention seeking then they may simply be jealous of a younger sibbling and not know how else to express that feeling or emotion. Im not entierly shure weather jealousy is a feeling or an emotion as i dont think i ever felt it before, but i think jealousy is whe you dont like some one else because they have taken something from you, im not entierly shure. I just know that young children can offten get jealous of youger sibblings espeshaly a newborn.
Did that bit make any sense?
Anyway for a child who goes through multiple phases of wanting to act like a baby it is also important to determine if it is attention seeking or a true emotional and psycological desiere. Taking an educated guess in 97% of cases it will be attention seeking but in 3% it will be a true emotional and psycological desiere. this can be determind in one of 3 ways. If your child suddenly starts going potty in there pants, (and squating to poop), were ever they are with out signs of embarismeant of discomfort and / or wetting the bed after they have been potty trained for more then 2 weeks it is an emotional and psycological desiere. If you have a baby or toddler in the house and your child starts copying everything your baby of toddler does, from spilling food down himself, to going potty in his pants when when your baby or todler has pooped, from playing with the babys or toddlers toys, to immitating the the babys or toddlers behaviours for more then 2 weeks then it is emotional and psycological. There third option i really wouldent recomend, as almost all profeshonals and shrinks have either a very limited knowledge of infantilisim or none whatso ever, and plus you would have wait ages for a referal. The third option is to simply take your child to a pediatric psycologist and then get a secod opinion from a pediatric psychiatrist. Like i said before taking an educated guess 97% of children who want to act like babies will be attention seeking, and the majority of those i would say, (again aother educated guess), probibly about 94% will not want to poop in there pants, and though some may try it most will probibly not like it or find it comforting. Out of the 97% most children who want to act like babys will and choose to go potty in there pants will just wet themselfs, but again that is just attention seeking, and most wont be to comfotable with it after a while oce it goes cold espeshaly if they are outside. For the 3 percent that have a true emotional and psycological desire refusing to diaper and baby them is going to be the worsed thing you could do, and will likely be very traumatic for the child. The best thing you can do is to go along with it, diapering and babying them as much as they need, while at home but explaining to them that they cant make poopy while at school. Explaining to them that they need to be a big boy or big girl while at school will most likley cause a tempa tantrum, I DONT WANT TO BE A BIG BOY or I DONT WANT TO BE A BIG GIRL and lots of tears. Somehow you will also need to explain to them why they cant make poopy while at school cause if they do every one will smell it and they will get teased and bullied and picked on eaven more and you will have a visous circle on your hands wich will last much longer then it will if they dont make poopy at school. While at school it will be best for them if you put them in pullups, drynites or goodnites or something wich is a bit more discrete then a diaper. This will help hie the face that your child is back in diapers from other children. 100% cotten underware is also a good idea to help absorb any leaks. The only two people at your childs school that would need to be adviced are your childs teacher and the school nurse. I have read one or two of the storys from the Infantilism community about children who wanted to be babys again and how there parents willingly whent along with it, what i found really disturbing about these storys is the fact that in every one of them the childs regreshion lasts for years, needless to say i reported the storys ad the authers. Realisticly if your child is is one of the 3% then his regreshion may last for a month, it may last for 6 months or it may last for 12 months. I would only start getting really worried and concernd if it does last a year though. Your child will come to you and tell you when he or she is ready to be a big boy or girl. Unfourtuantly if you hanve a younger child that has been in diapers for say 6 months and is say 6 or 7 you may have to potty train again, and it is a known fact in the medical community that the older a person is ther harder it is to potty train them.



aann
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28 Dec 2010, 8:10 am

Getting back to the OP's topic, Momsparky wrote: DS, 10, does this often. I think all boys have a real challenge when it comes to asking for affection - our culture just does not allow males to be cuddly; I have a feeling that "playing" baby gives him the chance to get the hugs he needs without feeling emasculated.

It's a sad statement about our society that a 10yo AS kid has already taken in this strong negative message.

Before dx of AS but when I knew my son was highly sensitive and struggled with low self esteem, I felt I would have to develop and maintain a closer relationship with him than other moms would do with their sons. I allow and even encourage him to play with stuffed animals with me and his sister. In fact, he teaches the animals or plays the animal, complete with baby voice, as student in homeschool.

He does not do this outside the house! I feel that, since we do this in a controlled way, he gets benefits he needs as an AS and avoids negative consequences.