Help my 13 year old non verb autistic son keeps grabbing his

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Loreal
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02 Apr 2022, 1:15 pm

I need some advice. My 13 year old non verbal autiisic son keeps grabbing his private area constantly non stop. He isn't rubbing it he's literally grabbing and punching the tip of it. It's doesn't matter if it's in clothes on in the bath tub he does it all the time. I have tried to give him something to hold in his hands and also tried social stories about it being inappropriate. His school is talking about not having him attend because it is not acceptable. I am at a loss. We have gone to the doctor who said nothing to help me help him. Anyone have any suggestions???



Reikistar
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03 Apr 2022, 5:06 am

Hi, my severely autistic non verbal son has gone through phases of doing this. We found that telling him it was inappropriate made him want to do it more. He's probably doing it because it feels good and it's a natural impulse that needs to be limited to specific areas. We told him he could do it in his bedroom and in the bathroom but nowhere else. If he started doing it we would tell him to go there or else stop doing it. We didn't make a huge issue out of it, just told him it was not something to do in front of other people, only when he was alone. I think that telling him not to do it will worsen matters. At school, they may need to reiterate that he does it in the school toilet cubicles. It's tempting to just say 'don't do it' but we definitely found that highlighting it's okay to do it, but only in those specific areas, was more helpful. Hope this helps.



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03 Apr 2022, 5:19 am

Could be itchy?


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Reikistar
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03 Apr 2022, 5:51 am

Mountain Goat wrote:
Could be itchy?


That's a good point. Maybe rule out a yeast or other infection before tackling the behaviour?



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20 Apr 2022, 3:51 pm

might be doing it because he likes the huge reaction he gets from adults?

I had success with "running stairs" - first offense (unwanted behavior) is once up and down the stairs as fast as you can. second offense is twice up and down. Third offense is four times. It doubles each time after that.
The idea is that the behavior may be some kind of stimming - in which case it is counter productive to say "stop that". The movement is really needed to regain balance. The behavior might really be "being bad" some kind of limit testing or naughtiness - it is hard to keep repeating a bad behavior while running up and down a flight of stairs, and a behavior not repeated is a behavior not reinforced. I have never had to go as high as 8 up-and-down. Even a kid with a LOT of energy will hit a limit soon when the running doubles each time.

Sometimes I give "road work" - like running around the block.

Physical exercise is very good for ADHD, and physical activity raises the heart rate. Raising the heart rate also raises the oxygen level in the brain which can help make everything better.

Remember - a limit with no consequences is not a limit at all.

Good parenting means setting healthy and reasonable limits and boundaries.


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Ettina
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21 Apr 2022, 3:29 pm

Loreal wrote:
His school is talking about not having him attend because it is not acceptable.


Wow, what an overreaction! Sounds like a pretty sh***y school to be making such a big deal of a behavior like this in someone with such significant disabilities. Don't they have bigger priorities, like, I don't know, finding him a way to communicate?



KimD
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14 May 2022, 9:31 pm

Forcing him to stay at home sounds like a violation of his rights to an inclusive education.

There are other steps to take, as others suggested here. Giving him a calm reminder about keeping it private and making sure he has ready access to a bathroom are good places to start, as is finding a doctor who can offer more insight and better advice and support. This might well be a case of managing his behavior instead of eliminating it--especially if making a bigger deal of it only causes shame or increases his desire to touch himself--but there are definitely ways to handle it (forgive the pun) that don't involve kicking him out of school!!



cyberdad
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14 May 2022, 9:37 pm

Loreal wrote:
I need some advice. My 13 year old non verbal autiisic son keeps grabbing his private area constantly non stop. He isn't rubbing it he's literally grabbing and punching the tip of it. It's doesn't matter if it's in clothes on in the bath tub he does it all the time. I have tried to give him something to hold in his hands and also tried social stories about it being inappropriate. His school is talking about not having him attend because it is not acceptable. I am at a loss. We have gone to the doctor who said nothing to help me help him. Anyone have any suggestions???


You might need to try ABA therapy (although 13 might be too old).

Is this a mainstream school?