Feminists whats your opinion on men that have been victims

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I have come to a decision to no longer be a doormat and stick up for myself.Like a rattlesnake if I get stepped on I will bite back.Also look out for myself and not put myself below others.I will still be kind and caring but only if they deserve it and never let my guard down.

Last edited by AspieOtaku on 18 Sep 2012, 7:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

To YOU they are, but not to me! I daresay that more that pretty much 100% of people I've known in my life have behaved towards me in a way that was to their benefit at my expense. IDK what kind of sheltered world you're living in but the reality you speak of is not one that I've ever experienced. And yet, my shrink has assured me that I'm not suffering from any sort of delusional thinking, so go figure.

I guess you're the type of person who chooses to believe what makes you happy, rather than trying to find the sobering truth about life as human on planet Earth.



And AspieOtaku, you have to learn when to be friendly and when to guard yourself. As they say, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. Nasty people are out there, and there's really no sure fired way to completely avoid them. Most importantly, you have to know when to say 'no' to people and really mean it. A person who doesn't know how to say no is going to be taken advantage of.

^^ I know that now, the world is an unforgiving place and there are monsters who prey on good people by posing as nice and understanding people.When the victim leaves his/her guard down by falling for it they get attacked.I will not make the same mistake again.I have made sure to be more careful this time because of learning the hard way.What is also very frightening is that aspies such as myself tend to be easy targets of being in abusive relationships be it male or female.

Aspie Otaku, trading a dominant woman for a dominant man won't be a winning strategy in the end. Do what you want, without sucking up to people here.

I am not sucking up to anyone I have no need to suck up to anyone.I can agree with other peoples points and I may disagree. I am my own person I don't trust anyone anymore anyways. Sucking up gets a person nowhere and a waste of time.I am no longer talking about dominance or submissiveness anymore there is no purpose and its a waste of energy. I am not the same person I used to be call me pathetic if you will or a snivilling coward because I have a feeling that is what's on your mind but I am sticking up for myself for once and not going sit and do nothing I will not stoop to hating others. Spending too much hatred on others drains energy and well I'm normally not hateful. I am sorry with what you perceive me as sucking up I am not, and you are not obligated to forgive me.I am no longer trading dominance or submissiveness. I am neutral however I don't stand for inequality.Over the years I have learned to appreciate myself instead to making others happy at the expense of my own for it makes things worse. I will give my self respect however that I did not allow myself to turn into a monster and tear others down and become abusive like other people have become. It takes a strong will for someone to not let the hatred completly take over and consume them. I do have a long way to go on trust however and perhaps in a way that is a good thing. Earning my trust with anyone will take a lot of patience and hard work but if that person has earned it that person can trust me at least I hope so in return but I am no longer going to bend over backwards for nothing, and this time if someone is going to kick me while I am down I will break that persons legs *metaphorically speaking* otherwise I will never allow myself to fall down and be weak. Sometimes I wish I can make everyone happy but I know I cannot but at least I have tried but first I must make myself happy for a change so that way I can make other people happy. I wish abusive cruel and manipulative people never existed then there would be no more fighting but that will never happen, there are always going to be cruel heartless people out there. I do not understand why and I probably never will, but hatred is an endless cycle that generates more hatred and is contagious. As the years go by I have noticed more and more hostility among the populous I do not fully understand and now I am starting to think that one must also be hostile to survive as I might slowly be becoming hostile but only when I am cornered. I wish I could reach out to others and try to help others but now these days I am afraid my arm will get bit off *metaphorically speaking*. I wish everyone cared about each other and was there for each other when in need but that's a fantasy world. I did not come across this epiphany until after losing consciousness in a puddle of my own blood and spending a couple nights in a hospital.

I can't help wondering how much this is a US thing, too. If people are presumed to be or actually are more bastardy over there.

There are some shitty people out there, no doubt. Most people are generally good, in that they'll at least purposely avoid doing wrong. And then there are some super nice people, too. The bastards out there will stick with those with low self esteem, because those who'll realise 'hang on - this person's a bastard! f**k this!' tend to move on.

If every person you meet finds you essentially objectionable to a degree they show or say it, it may be time to look within. It could well be a mass prejudice of sorts, or it could be because you're kind of a jerk. Please do not confuse or conflate this with victim-blaming - I'd like to be quite clear there. This isn't about abusive relationships, this is about day-to-day interaction.

It's a dog eat dog world if you hang around with dogs, particularly if you yourself are, well, edible.

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AspieOtaku & AspieRogue - Are you both in the US? Have either of you moved around much? Where/if you have any sort of social circle, what is it like?

IDK about him but I am. And lemme tell ya kid, the US is a highly competitive society that is very large, diverse, and stratified. As far as most people being basically good, try asking that question to Burmese peasants, or better yet to Congolese women(who've been brutally raped by militiamen). There is so much misery that people around the world suffer at the hands of other people that guys like you are too privileged and sheltered to understand. For the haves of this world, who not only enjoy creature comforts but social amenities, it's easy to believe that most people are good.

Well, any trouble you have with people clearly isn't down to you, what with your glittering personality and easy charm, eh?

You'll note I said most people, not all people.

You'll note you don't know a thing about my life, other than what I've shared on this board.

You'll note you confirmed my query about the US, and that this might give you pause to consider how things are in other countries, and that any problems you've had with people can't be all that easily universalised.

You may also like to note where bad things happen, many people struggle against those bad things, or are outraged and moved to want to help in some way.

Sometimes it is down to me, but in many cases it isn't. I have externally visible behaviors(like talking to myself out loud and pacing in circles compulsively) that attract negative attention and cause me to be treated badly even though I'm not hurting anybody.
Lemme spell it out: You can control your own actions, you cannot control other peoples REACTIONS! The reality of life is that people are going to judge you on things that you don't have any control over. Denying this and railing at me is not going to make it any less true.


Most people who live in rich, western European social democracies probably do find that most people around them appear to be basically good. But MOST people in this world do not live in societies like that.

I am in the US I tend to move around every 2-3 years due to certain situations. I keep my social circle rathers small because there are so few people I trust who are not going to judge me before getting to know me. In the States at least there is still a lot of prejudice that goes on and nobody trusts anyone and it seems to be in everyone elses view is that trust is for suckers and worthy to exploit. If someone is different and or unknown the rest of the population is going to bully you treat you like crap and apparently it is starting to seem acceptable in society until over many generations until over time it is noticed as unacceptable. So in order to feel accepted anywhere basically hide your inner self because any sign of weakness they will chew you up and spit you out. People who come up and pretend to be your friend will have the tendancy to scam you into something to make a quick buck or something else on that level, and if you are a victim of something like that everyone else will say "well serves you right" its messed up but true. If you are in a bad situation and are injured somewhere and you ask someone for help they will walk away and ignore you or tell you "its not my problem" and keep walking. There may be one person if you are lucky that might care and dial 911 for help but chances of that happening are maybe 10% at best. Everyone is only out for themselves here they will only be nice for short periods of time in order to see if someone will soften up so that way they can attack them to make themselves feel better or con them. Even if you are to go to a church perhaps you will be greeted with smiles but they are fake for when they go home they will most likely not care about you.

What irritates me about guys like Hopper is that they don't understand that what works for them really doesn't work for others(partly because some people out there really aren't nearly as adaptable as he is)and that ultimately they aren't as smart as they think they are.

Hopper has expressed in other threads that he is a liberal. And what bugs me about other liberals is that unlike me, they have this idealistic, positive view of the world that is just too good to be true.

One thing I have learned during my time on this planet is that having a positive view of the world doesn't increase your chances of being abused. Having a negative view of the world can, however, decrease your chances of being helped by people who are good enough to reach out to you, because you can't see them.

Very nice.

Actually, when it comes to abusive people, your attitude has no effect on whether or not they choose to pick on you. The world does not run on empathy, it runs on power. If only my fellow liberals would learn to understand and accept this we could work on making some REAL progress.

Show me some statistical or experimental data that backs up your assumption.
I am agnostic on this matter you seem to have access to a higher power.