24 Nov 2012, 11:50 pm
25 Nov 2012, 12:04 am
25 Nov 2012, 12:14 am
25 Nov 2012, 12:23 am
25 Nov 2012, 12:32 am
Jitro wrote:
Is God Santa Claus for adults?
No, because being naughty only results in getting cinders from father christmas while god requires you to burn for eternity.
This could be a quote from the bible though,
Quote:
He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!
The other part reminds me of Catholic priests, not sure why?
Quote:
You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Catholic priests are coming in boys.
I think that's the next line????
25 Nov 2012, 1:31 am
25 Nov 2012, 1:43 am
25 Nov 2012, 2:20 am
25 Nov 2012, 4:06 am
Danimal wrote:
Santa Claus is better than God. Santa brings gifts, eats cookies, drives a sleigh, makes toys, provides employment for elves, and is jolly. God is nowhere nearly that much fun.
Alternatively, Santa Claus breaks into peoples' houses at night and sneaks into the rooms of defenseless little children while they're sleeping, leaving a few items behind to remind them that he was there and he's always watching and that there's no way to keep him out. He then goes back to his secret base where he uses a rare minority group for slave labor.
25 Nov 2012, 5:44 am
Tiranasta wrote:
Alternatively, Santa Claus breaks into peoples' houses at night and sneaks into the rooms of defenseless little children while they're sleeping, leaving a few items behind to remind them that he was there and he's always watching and that there's no way to keep him out. He then goes back to his secret base where he uses a rare minority group for slave labor.
As opposed to a 'God' who watches you all the time... even when you are on the toilet or having sex (pervert). There is no way to keep him out. He leaves nothing behind to indicate he is real; but makes vague promises of gifts after you are dead if you aren't naughty and follow his rules. He spends all his time in his secret base called Heaven surrounded by dead people who are forced to play the harp all day long. He banishes those who disagree with him to the bowels of the Earth to be bathed in fire and brimstone.
So... erm, yes, God is definitely Santa Claus for adults.
25 Nov 2012, 10:01 am
25 Nov 2012, 10:58 am
25 Nov 2012, 12:00 pm
25 Nov 2012, 12:13 pm
Misslizard wrote:
And he eats all the cookies,S.O.B.
I thought of a dirty Santa joke.But I'm afraid to tell it,don't want to ruffle a mod's feathers.
I thought of a dirty Santa joke.But I'm afraid to tell it,don't want to ruffle a mod's feathers.
Unlikely.
Why is Santa considered a bad lover?
.
.
.
.
.
.
1. Because he always comes down the chimney.
2. Because he only comes once a year.
25 Nov 2012, 1:00 pm
Santa came down the chimney in a "cat"house.
A lady came in and invited him to stay awhile,
He said"Ho Ho Ho,gotta go,gotta go,
Gotta deliver all the toys to the kids,gotta go".
She dropped her robe to the floor and said"Come on Santa",
He said;
"Hey,hey,hey,gotta stay,gotta stay,
Can't get up the chimney with my d@ck this away!"
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