Nuclear war isn't that bad. Give it a chance.

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Lately, a lot of people have been upset becasue Donald Trump might start a nuclear war with Russia. I'd rather look on the bright side. Here we go.

- Once the radiation clears up, the environement will be pristine and clean again.
- Nobody will commit adultery or have abortions anymore because everyone will be dead.
- Nobody will sin anymore because everyone will be dead.
- Nobody will commit microagressions or use offensive language anymore because everyone will be dead.
- Nobody will misgender transpeople anymore because everyone will be dead.
- The Israeli-Palestinian conflict will be over becasue everyone will be dead.
- Nobody will ever commit rape ever again because everyone will be dead.
- The government won't try to take your gun away anymore because they'll be dead.
- Minorities won't try to take your job anymore because they'll be dead.
- The sexism in the video game industry won't exist anyore become everyone will be dead.
- Global warming will end.
- Animal abuse will never happen ever again ... unless you belive that aninals can abuse one another. Most animal rights activists seem to think that only humans can be abusers though.
- There will never be communism anymore becuase everyone will be dead.
- Monsanto won't exist anymore becuse they'll be dead.
- Vaccines won't cause autism anymore because everyone will be dead.
- People won't think evil thoughts anymore because everyone will be dead.

Can't you see? All of our problems are caused by people! We could solve all of the world's problems if we just started a nuclear war and killed everybody! Don't buy into the lies of the human life industry! They only tell you that human life is valuable so that they can sell you s**t! Human beings are naturally supposed to belive that their lives have no value!

Disclaimer: This thread is satirical, but all satire has a bit of meaning in it.

I made this thread because there are many groups of people in this world who seem to think that most human beings are evil. These groups can be found on the left and the right.

American conservatives think that the vast majority of people (including most Americans) hate America. Alt-righters think that the vast majority of human beings are "degenerate" or "genetically impure". Religious nuts believe that the vast majority of human beings are evil sinners. They also believe that God's people will go to heaven in the event of a nuclear holocaust. SJWs think that nearly all people are sexist/racist/homophobic/transphobic/ableist. Vegans think that nearly all human beings are evil for consuming animal products or exploiting animal labor. Hard greens (like Pentti Linkola) think that killing people is the only way to prevent pollution.

Wouldn't it be funny if all of these misanthropic losers teamed up and started a nuclear war to kill off all of humanity?

Perhaps the human species deserves a nuclear war. No species despises itself as much as ours does. No species wages war against its own biological nature as much as ours does.

I choose to go the other way, so we all can live. Life is precious.

Think that nuclear war is too extreme? Perhaps we could make all sex illegal!

That way, the "sexual degeneracy" that right-wingers hate and the "sexual objectification" that left-wingers hate will all be gone!

It will be better for everyone when animals are free, but human beings have to be as bland as oat flakes!

Other New Rules:
- Fun is banned. Nobody likes fun.
- Being unique is banned.
- Laughing is banned.
- Everything is banned. Nobody is allowed to do anything. That way, nobody gets offended or hurt feelings.
- Thinking is banned. Thinking causes rape.
- Banning things is banned.
- Not banning things is also banned.
- All food has rights. Sausage Party is like real life. Every time you eat food, it is literal genocide.
- Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is good. Every sperm is needed, in your neighborhood.

Always remember the rule of thumb!

Well the best thing to do would remove ourselves without massive destruction to the entire planet and everything else that lives here. Why should all the other animals die in a nuclear holocaust?

I love Fallout, so let's go!

-No more left-wing radicals...

-No more man's inhumanity to man...
-No more abominably torturous animal circle of life suffering...
-No more possibility of stumbling into eternal damnation due to a creator stuffing up his creation...

Life is suffering...
Non-existence equates to eternal peace...
R.I.P. life, the universe and everything...

And please...
No reset...
No reboot...

<waits for the next planet-killing asteroid event>

I'm sure there's a line in the Bible somewhere. Twits shall start a nuclear war and village dwelling social conservatives shall inherit the Earth.

Dr. Strangelove(Or How I Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love the Bomb) - Final scene
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gb0mxcpPOU

Tom Lehrer - We Will All Go Together When We Go
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frAEmhqdLFs