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Some Scars Only Doctors See

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southwestforests
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14 Nov 2009, 9:07 pm

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=120350312&ft=1&f=1003

Quote:
Some Scars Only Doctors See
by Dr. Natalie Mariano


Quote:
"I'm applying for a scholarship to go back to school," she told me.

"That's great, Jade. What are you going to study?"

"Motorcycle mechanics," she said. "I'll be able to use my welding experience and not have to deal with cars. I could never work on cars."

After we talked about her plans for a while, she reached into an envelope and pulled out an application from the Registry of Motor Vehicles to renew her disabled parking sticker. She said, "I hate to have to do this again."

"It's OK," I told her. "You need to; it won't be forever." I turned Jade's form over and scanned the list of medical problems that the registry recognizes as reasons that qualify a driver for handicapped parking: heart or lung disease, the loss of a limb, severe arthritis. I looked up and down the list, thinking about Jade's disability.

"I hate having to use disabled parking," she said. "I see how people look at me, and I know what they're thinking. 'What makes that weirdo think she can park there?' Sometimes they ask me what I'm doing parked in one of those spaces."

"What do you tell them?" I asked.

"I just walk away," she said.

"Why don't you tell them the truth?" I asked. "Why don't you look them in the eye and say, 'I've had to park in handicapped spaces since I got back from Iraq, because now I can't walk past a row of cars without thinking that one of them is going to blow up in my face."


What can you say to her and all the others?
Unless you share the experiences.

I haven't a clue.


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14 Nov 2009, 9:21 pm

Well, I'm thinking a reasonably intelligent person would know that not all disabilities are visibly evident. Those who aren't are the ones who might complain about someone with a heart condition using a disabled space as well.


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14 Nov 2009, 9:22 pm

Thats a good thing to keep in mind thanks for sharing that. It might explain the guy I see running for the door from one of the handicap spaces all the time I'm so glad I didn't yell at him.



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14 Nov 2009, 9:28 pm

That sounds very sarcastic but the truth is people do have invisible disabilities and it is also true that there are selfish people who use handicapped parking they are not entitled to. The existence of one does not negate the existence of the other.


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15 Nov 2009, 3:26 pm

I wasn't saying any other then you never know and being short tempered I have had to stop my self from yelling at someone that seemed to be misusing the spot weather they are or are not disabled is something I need to remeber can be something underlining that has nothing to do with what I'm seeing on the surface.



southwestforests
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15 Nov 2009, 3:58 pm

Although I'm not a veteran like the gal in article, I do have unseen disabilities and am on a 100% rating.
But not interfering, most of the time, with me walking I've not applied for a permit.

Kathy my wife, bubbybird on here, has physical disabilities and a parking permit that hangs on the mirror.

And we have some family members and some friends with heart disease, only partly along MS, and some other not immediately obvious problems.
We can relate.
And understand.


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15 Nov 2009, 4:43 pm

CRD wrote:
I wasn't saying any other then you never know and being short tempered I have had to stop my self from yelling at someone that seemed to be misusing the spot weather they are or are not disabled is something I need to remeber can be something underlining that has nothing to do with what I'm seeing on the surface.


Sorry about that. :oops:


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17 Nov 2009, 4:03 pm

I'll admit that there are some scars per say that are not visible to another person unless, you dwelv deep into an individual.Often most people choose not to go beyond the aquamarine to see what lies beneath a person and clearly see what brings about some of the most unpleasant aspects of one's being..I,msyelf have many chaotic parts of my own being some, I keep to myself though, I try to help others understand nevertheless..



southwestforests
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17 Nov 2009, 6:35 pm

ProfessorX wrote:
Often most people choose not to go beyond the aquamarine ...


I don't understand that expression.


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17 Nov 2009, 8:28 pm

I'm a veteran. Looking back, I had obvious signs of PTSD for a number of years. They faded away slowly.

I no longer sit in a corner facing the door, or carry a gun when I leave the house, or eye everyone with mistrust. But I still have issues with stopping my car at a red light or at a traffic jam (go go go go go!! !) and I don't like when a car is following me too close.

I've put my life together. Some of us manage it. Some are hunted forever like the lady in the article. Others lose it completely and end up living on the streets.

It is hard for "normal" people to understand what it's like. At least this group has some idea what a messed up mind is all about...



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18 Nov 2009, 3:24 pm

southwestforests Often most people choose not to go beyond the aquamarine ... What this means is, to look beyond the exterior of someone and try to learn about someone on a more profound maner rather than being quick to judge and so forth..



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18 Nov 2009, 6:54 pm

Aimless wrote:
CRD wrote:
I wasn't saying any other then you never know and being short tempered I have had to stop my self from yelling at someone that seemed to be misusing the spot weather they are or are not disabled is something I need to remeber can be something underlining that has nothing to do with what I'm seeing on the surface.


Sorry about that. :oops:

No big deal what so ever :) I should have explained what I was thinking better. Tone isn't always well carried in this format.



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20 Nov 2009, 4:47 am

My dad had one for a while due to a back injury he got at work.He could walk, but there were days when he could barely walk and was in pain.He also has issues with his knees and has arthritis


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20 Nov 2009, 10:33 am

We've been toying with the idea of getting one for Jake now that he's to big to carry to the car and a meltdown in a parking lot could cause him to be hit by a car.