Joined: 6 Jan 2017
Okay so basically I suspect I have Aspergers. Now, as a 19 year old girl it's gonna be a bit more difficult for people to take me seriously. But so far so good.
Fortunately for me, had a lovely doctor who referred me to MindMate and they've referred me to CAHMS for an assessment in the near foreseen future.
I'm 95% sure I have it most of the time but just these past few hours I've been having doubts. No reason in particular. I just don't want to go for the assessment, go through all that stress and anxiety to be told I'm just a slightly odd Neurotypical?? No thanks.
I'll list my symptoms:
Can sit doing homework at the weekend and concentrate for hours an hours without a break. I tend to start in the late afternoon and finish, look up and it's dark outside and I don't even realise!
Unless they're really obvious, I have difficulty reading body language and facial expressions. However I generally have no problem with tone of voice - voice...although it depends...
Constantly being told I'm "rude" or "inconsiderate of others around you"
People say I'm in a world of my own - I used to walk home in primary school staring at the floor counting to 120 repeatedly. Apparently someone shouted my name well within hearing distance and I was completely oblivious to her. I didn't hear her at all. I also used to walk into lamp posts. Still do from time to time...
Can't make a cup of tea without spilling it all over myself or the floor...People used to tell me I was walking into them from different directions. Imagine 3 people in a row walking at the same pace. Me in the middle and 1 person on either side of me. I used to unknowingly lean from right to left whilst walking.
I sit in the same place on the bus WITHOUT FAIL. I eat the same Subway sandwich, crisps and drink every time. Same breakfast etc.
I didn't notice them as this until recently but I have semi-frequent meltdowns. Yesterday I had one and couldn't leave the house to go to uni and sat on the floor rocking and listening to the same song for half an hour or repeat.
Have extremely rigid routines, in the morning especially and have a meltdown if they are not fulfilled^^^^^^^As above
Highly skilled at the piano, have been playing for 12 years now. Can play for hours and not even realise how long I saw doing it for
Eye contact is a funny one really. I cannot stand eye contact with strangers, people I don't see a lot or just familiar acquaintances. However I don't tend to have as big a problem with it with my parents only. Probably because I'm so close to them
Suffer from social anxiety 24/7 and bouts of depression from time to time
Have quite a "flat" tone of voice
OBSESSED with German (the language). Could talk about it for hours given the opportunity!! My mum asks me if I wanna watch a movie and I answer in German, without fail...she says it's quite annoying but I can't help it
Listen to the same music over and over again. Have to have headphones in all the time to cover up loud noises and just for background noise. Even if I'm putting the bins out. Music. Always. Parents hate it.
Sensitive to loud, sudden noises, a lot of general noise at the same time (e.g. A classroom or a busy corridor)
Never had more than 1 friend at a time. Never seemed bothered by it. I've never craved human affection. Much prefer my kittens.
Socially awkward. No matter what I say, I always manage to come out with the most socially inappropriate thing to say. But I don't see it until someone tells me.
Need me time. All the time.
Happy to sit alone for hours by myself.
Always the last to understand a joke. But have an odd sense of humour that most don't understand
Generally quirky and misunderstood.
There's more but I can't think of it now...
ALSO. For the assessment. What kind for questions do they ask people of my age? And what will they ask my mum? Because she's sceptical about it. Although admittedly she said she believes me more now after my meltdown yesterday...
Thank you! I appreciate this was very long so thanks for reading!