fear of losing control

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do many of you have a fear of losing control to the point that you think about it every day? i think about hitting anyone that makes me mad but when i do hit people its almost impossible to gain control. i only calm down after someone pins me to the floor for about a minute. the last two times i hit people i had very little memory of it and its starting to freak me out.

Wow. You're right to fear losing control. Have you thought about anger management classes. If you can't afford that, there are books.
I wish I had something more useful to say. I'm glad for your courage in broaching the issue.

I'm bullied alot at school, and I've stopped myself from attacking people so many times. I don't really like to hurt people as it's not right, but when I do hurt people, I do it without even thinking twice.

I do fear losing control and hurting people, but I was told that it was an intrusive thought.
When I'm walking down the street and see someone walking towards me I think of attacking them, yet I don't want to do it. Then I start thinking that they know my thought of attacking them and that they are going to attack me in defense, so then I have to cross to the other side of the road to protect myself. However then I think that the people on the other side of the road have noticed why I crossed to their side, so they start talking about me with others, planning their revenge in which the thought comes back that I'm going to attack someone because I think they are going to attack me...and it goes around and around.

Aw, Brittany. What an uncomfortable frame of mind. Have you learned how to deal with those icky thoughts? Do you need to take meds? Have you found any meds that work.

I lived for four and a half decades with recurring depression and its stupid thoughts. For me, getting on meds was a relief because I didn't need to waste any more mental space on depressive thinking.

I used to have real anger-management problems, over them now- I can control it but the thoughts are definitely still there.

I used to lash out at pretty much anyone who called me names or tried picking on me when I was 13/14ish, but simply through practice, I've learnt to control it alot more and do it much less often now. Martial Arts classes helped me improve my self control.

Yes I'm learning ways to deal with the thoughts but it takes practice. I have a list of reasons written down for why these thoughts aren't true. I tell myself them or look at them and sometimes it works but at other times it doesn't. I take Prozac for both depression and intrusive thoughts (it also helps with symptoms of OCD) and also a mood stabilizer (Epilim) but that's not for the intrusive thoughts.

I can't imagine living with depression for four and a half decades. I'm only 18 & I've had enough of it already.

Anger's tough to deal with when you're not the explosive kind of angry. I tend to be colder, and patient when I'm angry. It sounds like it'd be easier to conquer anger if you have more time to do it, but instead it just festers and grows. And once I start planning, it's hard for me to stop. I try not to get into physical fights at all, out of fear that I won't know when to stop.