The world is full of hideousness

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I hate men who are bald or shaven headed and who look like thugs. There are a lot of men like that, it seems. I think men who are bald should wear wigs. I loathe the sight of a man's head, without hair. It looks so brutally hideous and unfathomably terrible.

I also hate the sight of a prettily dressed, stylish woman with a pathetic looking bald thuggish man who has no style and walks like a neanderthal. It makes a mockery of civilization. The fashion of our time is barbaric. But it's not all about today's fashion.

The sight of some people's faces makes me shudder, more than is comfortable. There is something so shockingly vacant in them, so mean and maligned. You can see, if you are observant, even by looking at them that they are not innocent at all or pure of heart. I feel lonely.

Maybe you should try to befriend some bald men. You'll find that they are people just like anyone else.

You've describe my sister and brother in law here and a couple of good friend's I have. She's petite and girly and he's muscular and bald. Both guy are of the nicest people you will ever meet. Don't judge a book by it's cover.

OP, why is this thread in The Haven? Presumably because of your loneliness? Hating doesn't cure loneliness, and hating others will turn others off as well. What you find hideous are just commonplace events to most people, so maybe the issue is you and your situation, rather than the people you hate. I hope you find solutions to your isolation.

I put the thread here because I feel sad.

I've been bullied for the past 15 years by my dad who shaves his head.

Many men with bald or shaven heads are tough guys. Scary. Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham, Stone Cold Steve Austin, it's often a look men cultivate who want to be dominant.

That is not something I like. I think men should be polite and courteous. It's the kind of men who have a shaven head that bothers me. I think a lot of the men choosing the style are trying to emulate them and many of these men glorify violence.

OK, thanks for that clarification, now we can see why baldness is triggering for you, and understand the sadness you feel from that unhealed abuse, and that helps us support you here.

I like Jason Statham....one of my favorite actors, perhaps due to your dads bullying behavior and that he shaves his head has created an association in your mind. I mean it is a normal thing to happen, but it may help to try and recognizes your dad is one person...he hardly represents all bald/shaven head guys.

The guys I know who shave their heads do so because they are going bald and don't want to look like an old man. Its not about being tough.

But yeah I like polite respectful men. If thats the kind of man you want to be then you should be true to yourself. There's nothing wrong with that.

There are lots of good men out there. What are your interests ? Maybe if you persue those in a group setting you can make friends with other guys like you and find somewhere to belong.

I try to bear in mind I am jumping to conclusions. I suppose I must be wrong about this.

Don't really have many interests. I collect cookbooks, used to do some acting but that was with a group of disabled people. After that finished I tried doing acting in an amateur dramatic group but I couldn't cope with people's small talk there.

What about a cooking class? You might enjoy that.

To OP:
I see you are from England. I've also lived in England in the last 10 months. When I moved and started working here, I couldn't help noticing the number of bald men at the company (I work at a warehouse). You don't see half this many of them in Hungary. I'm guessing this bald fashion must be an English, or an English working class thing, and I have to admit, it does look kind of stupid. Only newborn babies should have no hair. Whenever I see a shiny head, I just think 'WHYYYY?'

On the other side, I have long hair, and I've gotten remarks from my colleagues that I look girly. No Hungarian has ever said something like this to me. They only assume that I'm a rocker (which I am not - at least not in the stereotypical 'concert maniac' sense).

I don't like bald/buzzed hair either particularly on men I otherwise find attractive. If I admire the man enough I deal with it but I still don't really like it so I'll wait impatiently for him to grow it out. It only works on men like Phil Collins or Vin Diesel because Phil had balding hair and I've never seen Vin with hair so it would probably be weird if they had hair although they aren't men that I'd find attractive anyway. The shape of it still looks weird to me. It helps that I'm a lady but aesethically it just looks weird because one musician I stopped getting attracted to due to being married shaved his head once and I cringed.

Back to the OP, since this is about your trigger I am kinda the same way with cowboy hats. They don't really upset me but they have made me angry but I know I have to consider that those men don't know my father so they're just adhering to their own style.

I might look into that. I am a loner though, generally. I'm too sensitive. It's hard being around a lot of people, I get easily upset.



Yeah it does seem to be a working class fashion here. I remember in the 1990s it wasn't. Personally I preferred it when men generally had longer hair. I do accept though some men go bald without choosing it. And of course I am biased because of my dad, so it's a trigger.

Does it annoy you if they say you look girly? I like long hair on a man myself.



Hmm, yeah, we will have to keep trying to keep perspective on each of our own triggers.

There can be plenty of reasons a man chooses (or doesn't, in some circumstances, as noted above - some guys are going bald prematurely and instead of rocking the comb-over, embrace it and shave it off instead) to have a shaven or bald head. It's not indicative of any particular attitude. Or alternatively, can be indicative of many attitudes, given cultural and other differences - to me, the most familiar reason for a shaved head is among Buddhists, both male and female. This is often for "pure" reasons if you want to call it that - to cut down on personal vanity, to free the person of having to groom / wash / fuss with their hair when they may be in a monastic situation where this isn't practical, and to symbolize the renunciation of attachment to the attitudes of the ignorant world as well as solidarity with past traditions.
Buddhist monks / nuns are about as far from "thugs" as I can imagine.
But you're intelligent enough to be fully aware of why this fashion bothers you - your father was a bully toward you and this was the way he presented himself in order to push his "tough guy" attitude on you. You don't have to take on his attitudes. You are free to see the world and other people as you see fit, not restricted to what he chose to believe and demonstrate. As noted above again, maybe getting to know some other people who shave their heads for others reasons might re-teach your response to this, and make you less aversive and unhappy? To make you aware of the fact that someone can be a gentle, considerate, polite, courteous man with no illusions about his own "tough" projection or interest toward violence, despite his aesthetic choices?

I'm not easily offended because I think it has nothing to do with me being girly, but with them being ignorant and narrow-minded. On the other hand, it annoys me, yes. It also annoys me when people try to fit me into a stereotype based on my appearance, hobbies, or things I like, but this is another story.

When I read the title I thought it was going to be about all the things people in the world DO that are hideous, not about how they look. I really don't notice or care about someone else's hair or lack of it.

It's because they don't have souls: they're basically zombies, who like to congregate in shopping complexes with the sole aim of spending money they don't have on crap they don't need. It's what the world has become over the last 30 or so years, and I'm glad I'm not the only one who has noticed it. People these days just come across as being shallow, vain, self-centred, materialistic and sociopathic.