Why I Will Never Be a True Woman

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I just started taking 100mg of Zoloft. I used to take 50mg. I'm very worried about gaining even more weight than I already have. Please don't say talk to your doctor because I've tried to.

What if I get too fat to wear women's clothes? If I wear men's clothes I won't be a true woman. I'll be hideous. No one will love me.

I need to be a stereotype to be happy.

They are making more fashionable plus size clothes, because the industry is finally recognizing the need for them. Size doesn't make make you a woman, large or small.

Your weight does not define your value. I won't change how much of a woman you are, nothing or no one can change that. There are women clothes in all sizes, but you will still be you in a skirt or in a pair of pants.

No one that cannot see beyond how you look on the outside will truly love you, no matter if you're thin or fat. We all will eventually get old and ugly anyways, youth and beauty don't even last that long. They're not worth obsessing over.

Not to be facetious, but you will in fact be even more of a woman - many women, with increased body weight, also increase bust, hip and butt size. All feminine characteristics. Also many big women are actually restricted to wearing dresses and skirts exclusively, because jeans and similar clothing can't accommodate them or are too uncomfortable.
Lots of people like big busty women. Contrary to what our brainwashing media tells us, being thin isn't the only way to be attractive.
You note you have talked to your doctor - what did they say? Did you mention how much gaining weight on this medication bothers you? I know there are some alternatives and a bit of room to maneuver with medications, if someone has an adverse response. Perhaps zoloft isn't your only option? Maybe they could prescribe you something that has a similar effect, but not so much of a weight gain side effect? Perhaps you can find a way to go back down to 50mg with complementary treatments, if you could maintain your weight at that dosage?
I know of someone who was on a high dose of seroquil and had a similar problem. He handled this by becoming an absolute gym junkie. He had to do probably three times as much exercise as someone not on that medication to achieve results, but he was able to keep his weight reasonable, and even found that when manic, the intense exercise actually helped his psychological symptoms. Could that kind of approach work for you?
Maybe it just takes a bit of tweaking to maintain things, or to find a way around this weight issue.
PS - if the only reason someone loves you is because you are thin, then personally I wouldn't want such a person in my life anyway.

I think you're beautiful.

I have the same problem with Seroquel. I put on a lot of weight when I started it because it gave me painful hunger cramps. I've come up with a strategy that is helping me to lose weight - vegetables. They fill you up enough to get rid of the pain but because they are mostly water you don't gain much weight from them (even with dressing.)

As for appearance and "being a woman," it is just sad that women are only judged on their beauty. Being visually pleasing to men is not the only role there is for women (although you wouldn't know it from the comments in this thread.)

That is of course absolutely true, but some people may be replying in terms of looks because the OP specifically mentions this as her problem.

It's also sad that you can't tell someone they're beautiful without being judged.

It's true though.

The OP says that she believes she won't be loved if she does not meet the requirements of "stereotypical" beauty. The responses reassure her that she does which completely misses what I believe the issue to be, which is that women do not have any roles in Western society other than to please men. Even women who have had children try to hide it by getting back to their pre-pregnancy weight. Their desirability to men is more important than being recognizable as having children. It should be the opposite.

If you're a woman in your mind, your womanhood will more than reveal itself to others.

Mama Cass was a big woman---and you KNEW she was a woman. Never had anyone had any doubt that she was one. She was "large and in charge."

She probably weighed, at least, 250 lbs.

Oooo, that opens the whole gender stereotype worm-can that the only other significance women have is fulfilling stereotypical female roles - like having children.
But I do agree with you philosophically. In a perfect world, the OP would be loved for being awesome, regardless of the size she is. She would not have to feel anxious about being "hideous" and that all her value depends on if men want to have sex with her.
Anyway, big women may not be stereotypically beautiful in western societies - but they can be beautiful regardless of their weight is the point.
Sorry about the thread hijack, xxZeromancerlovexx ! !!

Since when has beautiful come to mean only visually beautiful?

Being overweight does not make a woman someone who isn't a true woman. In many cultures, until rather recently, it was favorable for women to be heavier rather than skinnier. This signified fertility and wealth. In some cultures it still does, such that women and girls are encouraged to gain weight to make them suitable for marriage. This is actually a problem in countries like Mauritania because young girls are often force fed until they vomit, and women are expected to remain obese, increasing the incident of type II diabetes and other health problems among them.

You're beautiful to me.

Ignore her; that's my only advise to you here.

Since the OP hasn't posted since the original, I'm going to answer the above.

A woman has value other than her ability to please men. To my understanding the OP's problem is not a result of her appearance, but of the roles society avails to women.