With my dream shattered I've lost my purpose in living
bunnyb wrote:
I feel for you and know the pain. I trained horses. They were my life. A year ago I had an accident. The horse I was riding, Bill, was attacked by my stupid neighbours dog. He blind bolted. I got taken away in an ambulance. He was shot.
My life is totally empty now and I have severe PTSD. Horses trigger massive anxiety and flashbacks. I cannot get over the fact it's my fault that my darling boy died. I broke the first first rule of horses which is always be aware of your environment. I was stupidly sitting there thinking what a perfect day it was. I didn't notice the dog until too late. I wish the Hospital hadn't 'saved' me. They saved for what? An empty broken life. It would have been better if I had died with Bill.
My life is totally empty now and I have severe PTSD. Horses trigger massive anxiety and flashbacks. I cannot get over the fact it's my fault that my darling boy died. I broke the first first rule of horses which is always be aware of your environment. I was stupidly sitting there thinking what a perfect day it was. I didn't notice the dog until too late. I wish the Hospital hadn't 'saved' me. They saved for what? An empty broken life. It would have been better if I had died with Bill.
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please get counseling.
you can find other hobbies. you can enter a different job field. you can pick up different job skills.
did you get diagnosed for PTSD? maybe you could get meds.
desensitization therapy
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having said that, last year a dog bit me.
after the bite, for several weeks afterward, anything that looked or sounded remotely like a dog, looked and sounded like a dog. and startled me. scared. frightened. uptight. edgy. anxious. withdrawn. introverted. insecure.
but yeah it is so inconvenient to be around dogs. b/c it is pretty hard to live life without interacting with dogs.
horses though. you can live life without interacting with horses.
DancingCorpse wrote:
You'll never stop hurting over what stunning castle shattered up on that hillside but you will find another point to tiptoe toward with time and patience, it sounds farcical right now but follow the line and it will branch out eventually if you can stick with it.
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write books about horses. or somehow involve yourself with horses in a method other than riding them. alternatively, keep riding to easier situations/horses, until you build back up to it.
explore a wide variety of other hobbies.
get job training for a new career.
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