I think I blew it.

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Last edited by evil_eyes on 12 Mar 2010, 8:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Ah. She probably doesn't know that you have spent months researching and contemplating it. Talking to someone you don't even know is scary -- talking to anyone at all can be scary. Maybe you can bring in the aspie quiz, bring your laptop or have a print out, and sort of tell the counselor your thought processes and how you came to this conclusion. That is sort of what I did, because I wasn't sure how to explain myself. They will ask you to elaborate. It'll give you the opportunity to better explain yourself.

Thank-- I'm trying to think of a way not to sound like I'm forcing the issue. It's pretty embarassing to have to insist that you have Aspies.

once i was surprised that an expensive candle i bought went out.
but i think i blew it so i guess that was the reason.

You've stated your concerns very well here. I recommend printing this out and handing it to the guidance councilor.

If she is not familiar with Aspergers then allow her a day or two to do a bit of research. Adults tend to think that no kid could know more about a subject than they do (I've been guilty of this and I should know better) so she is likely to dismiss your conclusions and want to start from the beginning. To some extent this might be frustrating because you've got a pretty good idea of what you are dealing with and want to get to the solution quickly. But from a scientific point of view, the councilor needs to check through a few things to make sure it's not something that looks like Aspergers but might be something else. You will probably get to a solution faster if you are patient with her.

It might be helpful to write out in a list some of the problems you experience on a day to day basis. Do you get overloaded around people? Do you have troubles identifying other peoples intent in their expressions? Be as specific as you can.

I think one of the things that is very hard for NTs to understand is that Aspie perception of the world is quite different from their own. It may be very hard for an NT to really understand what you are talking about when you say you get overwhelmed. If you can write down a list of things that have happened this can help the NT have a better sense of what you are talking about.

I hope this helps,

Lars

I know exactly how you feel. Many counsellors either don't know or don't fully understand AS because it's still a relatively new disease. Just find another counsellor if this one doesn't work out, it happens. See if you can find someone who is more knowledgable in the field, and don't take comments like 'you're being hasty' to heart: your counsellor was the one being hasty. She doesn't even know you, but you've known yourself your whole life!!

I think jagatai's advice is excellent: write down your symptoms and feelings and then just print it out and hand it off; much easier than keeping up with conversations in real time--even knowing what to say, yet alone phrasing it in a 'believable' way. Good luck and don't give up!

First thing, see a psychiatrist. This "counselor" is not really trained or even allowed to diagnose things. What they are SUPOSSED to do is refer someone like you to a psychiatrist so you can actually address your concerns. I think it is very unprofessional for them to treat you this way. So, if they're going to continue to NOT be helpful, you're going to have to do it yourself. I don't know if you have insurance or what it is if you do have it, but I would go see one ASAP if your insurance makes it possible. Have you told your parents? I would do that ASAP and see if they help you find a doctor. Sometimes parents aren't helpful and that can hurt emotionally and can make the process of getting help from a pro even more difficult, but you HAVE to try. Feeling suicidal is very serious, and very common as well in your situation. A school counselor may not be qualified to diagnose, but they SHOULD be trained to see and understand suicidal tendecies/feelings (even if the person doesn't come out and say they're suicidal). At that point they should refer them to the appropriate expert. But many nowadays like to "play doctor" and make sweeping judgments on things they really do not understand.

You also see this ALL the time with people who SHOULD know what Asperger's is. It is sad how uninformed our counselors, therapists, and even psychiatrists are. My husband has to baically screen every one he goes to because it's like a crap-shoot. Some don't know anything about it other than it's "on the spectrum" and therefore assume if you aren't "Rain Man" you must not have it. Even worse are the ones who have never even HEARD of it, but they still have no issues lecturing you on it like an "expert". One time a psychiatrist even tried to tell my husband to PRAY his Asperger's away o.0 WOW.

Anyway, doctors and counselors are people too. They make mistakes and not all of them know what they are talking about. Yes, you don't know 110% that you for sure have it, but it is not inappropriate to say you suspect it. I am in your shoes, I strongly suspect I have this and have been thinking about it for YEARS. I have dealt with it my WHOLE life, but only recently discovered (about 6 yrs ago) what Asperger's was from my hubby. We get along really great and have a lot of the same "quirks" or issues. He told me soon after we met and got serious that he was an Aspie and suspected I am too. As I researched it and discussed it with him I realized it really did explain a lot about how I am. I can count the number of friends I have had in my whole 28 years on one hand. Hell, 98% of my OWN family members think I'm a "weirdo". Even my own mother has told me she "loves me but doesn't like me" because I'm "annoying" with my repetitive speech, "condescending" attitude, "rude" inappropriate comments, and "issues showing love". It took a long time to share with her my discovery and suspicions, I did just the other day in fact, yet she shot it down and told me I was "looking for excuses" and was "just lacking motivation" in my life. Which of course makes no sense since I have a lot of motivation (wonderful hubby, wonderful son). And, what? Have I been "lazy" and "cold" my whole life then? I think she'd rather it be I'm a "bad" or "weird" person rather than have a different way my brain works because she can "fix" me by telling me to "work harder". Maybe she thinks that if it's something like my brain actually works different then maybe it's her fault or I won't need her to "fix" me or something.

Anyway, it probably goes without saying that when I was a kid, in a situation similar to you (except I had no idea why I was different and miserable), and was feeling like I needed help (I was also severely suicidal for much of the same reasons you state)- she was NOT there for me. As for my dad, he is a great person but hates psychology in general (thinks it's a crock) because of a bad experience when he was younger. So I had to help myself. I called up and scheduled myself for therapy. Unfortunately, my doctor was a huge dissappointment, but it got the ball rolling. I eventually found a good one but I had to wait until college. I went to a therapist on campus and she was very helpful in general (but she was not a psychatrist, so she coudn't really help me in the big picture).

I am STILL looking for a decent psychiatrist, especially now that I have specific ideas about what is going on. In fact, finding out about Asperger's and researching it and realizing it really explains a lot helped me more than other things. Having a communinty of others going through the same things also helps (I got that sense of "community" from discussing my issues and thoughts with my husband, but now have found this site and even though I've only been here a couple days I feel a sense of relief). I do deal with some depression and definitely anxiety here and there, but I think I understand WHY now and that really helps me.

Point is, it may take a long time and you may not get help from those who SHOULD help you most, but you have yourself and you now have a bunch of people here willing to listen and give you info We understand and you are NOT alone. So do not give up trying to find help with a decent, informed psychiatrist. My husband had to try really hard to find a decent doctor but he has come across them over the years (sadly though, they are few and far between). I told him your story and he said you need to see one ASAP and that you can't give up because some of them are lame. There are good ones who know what they are doing and you will come across them. He says he kind of "quizzes" doctors before he commits to them. If they show signs of BS-ing or uneducated, unfair judgments re: Asperger's or Autism in general (like all those on the spectrum are "Rain Man", Aspies are incapable of feeling, or that Aspies need to be cured with heavy drugs for example) he doesn't go back and starts his search again. He did find a good one, but we moved far so I can't really go there. But there must be others who are trained and know what they are talking about. If he can find one you can find one too

Sorry for the novel I just felt for you, you sound like me when I was young. Finding out about Asperger's has "made a light go off in my brain" and really has made me feel like I understand myself FINALLY, but it also has made me look back at my adolescence and say, "Man, if I only knew then...I would have been so miserable." So count yourself lucky you have started to understand yourself now. Many go through many more years of misery with no clue what is going on with them. You just need to follow through now and fight for yourself. Good luck and I hope you keep us updated. I wish you all the luck

hehe this made fudo chuckle..
my two pence, i would suggest taking a print out of the first post here.. upon reading it doesn't seem unbelievable etc & i think if the average person understood how much you've thought about this they'd have to be fairly ignorant to suggest you're lying or wrong without at least investigating.. i empathise somewhat as i'm un-diagnosed & not too happy about it. good luck.

<3 <3 <3 <3 ="D =DThank so so so so so so so much for all you guys taking the time to reply. It was amazingly comforting, and even better, its advice that I can actually follow!! I swear if I ever get to the point in my life where I'm finally well-adjusted and stable like some of you guys, I'm gonna do something to raise awareness or take a career in psychology. I'd hate for there to be more like me, who has no one to turn to for this because no one even knows what they're talking about. For now I'll just focus on getting my life in order~ FINGERS CROSSED XD XD XD