How to stop myself from being a stalker

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Redd
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

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Joined: 24 Dec 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Male
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Location: Brevard North Carolina, United States

14 Aug 2010, 12:05 am

hmmm my input on this may be valuble yet i may sound like someone who thinks of himself as superior although im not. the stalker claims to "need" the person he stalks but really who is to blame in this scenario? the stalker is to blame and only the stalker. those who say that they "cant control themselves" are weak minded or just lying and therfor deserve all negative consequences associated with their actions.

basically what im getting at is if you dont want to stalk then simply dont do it, and if anyone says its not that simple they are one of the weak or a lair and the weak always deserve what they get. responsibility to the responsible. I live my life by that simple rule.

earlier the statement was made that the stalker substitutes this imagined need for another person for a personal need or problem. If that is truly the case that still doesnt mean that the person who fits this description isnt 100% to blame for all their stalking behavior. If thats the only way you can deal with your un met needs then do us all a favor and fix those problems your self in a healthy non destructive way because all personal problems can and should be taken care of solely by the person they apply to even if this means seeking help from others. although i personally see that as a sign of weakness as well. do not tell me insensitive or harsh because i will take it as a compliment. if everyone was a harsh rugged individualist then we wouldnt have these kind of problems in the world.



pandorazmtbox
Toucan
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14 Aug 2010, 12:15 am

A legal definition might shed some light on this, it varies from state to state in the US, but this definition comes from aware.org (Arming Women Against Rape & Endangerment):

"Fundamentally, stalking is a series of actions that puts a person in fear for their safety. The stalker may follow you, harass you, call you on the telephone, watch your house, send you mail you don't want, or act in some other way that frightens you."

People use stalking casually on the net, thinking it means getting information about someone or 'snooping' in what is publicly posted information (FB profiles, forum posts, websites, etc.). Where that behavior, online or in person, crosses the line is when it starts creating a fear reaction in the stalkee. Now, the most clear way to establish this is for the stalkee (or their representative) to clearly state: what you are doing is frightening me, stop now. If the other person does not stop, they are then (legally) a stalker.

In other words, do not follow someone around after they have told you to leave them alone. It's a rule.


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Redd
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

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Joined: 24 Dec 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 147
Location: Brevard North Carolina, United States

14 Aug 2010, 12:30 am

Quote:
In other words, do not follow someone around after they have told you to leave them alone. It's a rule.

this is the best thing ive read in this whole thread. It was the most clear and concise. I wish i could have said it this well