The Misfit Club - for all those aliens feeling left behind

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spring is treating me pretty awesomely, so far. now im just sittin here playin my bass. how i do wish i had a drummer tho...

No one's posted here in a while, but I feel like posting anyway. Is that allowed? I'm probably doing the online equivalent of talking to an empty room. Or the forum equivalent of entering a chatroom by yourself. Oh well, it's not like this will be the most awkward thing I've done today~ anyway I kinda feel like celebrating a bit...

I made a breakthrough, somewhat, in this whole socializing thing - I have a penpal! Have had one for a while, but the conversation hasn't died after a few months, and though I'm still anxious about it getting boring or stale or awkward, I'm shocked that I managed to keep it up till now. Turns out I can say exactly what's on my mind and not get an uncomfortable response that makes me regret I said anything ^_^ Online, at least.

Spring sounds awesome. I wish I had four seasons in the year XD

post away!

I've just been having a rough couple of days. I tend to have alot less to say when I'm stressed out.

The penpal sounds awesome. Don't sweat the topics of conversation. Just remember to try and include questions in your letters. It gives them something to respond to and opens up new lines of conversation.

I'm not sure why people discount online interactions as somehow less than face to face socializing. The concept of socializing is all about making a connnection to another human being. It wasn't so long ago that schools used to set up penpal programs with other schools in other countries or even just with other schools in the US - it was praised and encouraged to reach out and connect to other people through writing. So why, now, is the same method of contact being derided as somehow less valid? If someone has issues with face to face conversation why is the focus on 'fixing' that rather than encouraging the connections they can make with less difficulty?

This year, I very well could have done without winter. It was a bad year for me and cold. And Spring is taking its sweet old time getting here and staying here. I can't wait for 100 degree weather.

General ignorance is in everyone...whether they are aspie or not...I can't explain why that is actually...but this is a good idea (although it won't make the worldspread situation any better).

I support this club with a

We all do what we can... welcome aboard!

I can testify to this. Until recently (past few months), online interaction has been very important to me during various low points in my life (and having any social life at all outside of family). Depending who it is, I'd like to think I am fairly confident in speaking to people today, though this has not always been the case, and it is probably more effective than online interactions now. However, I would feel much more nervous and intimidated if I was to imagine this thread being a room with everyone being able to see each other as we "post" in spoken words.

I hear that!

I'm staunchly against Skype. We have a headset to use for voice in various forums, IM's and such and I'm terrified to use it. I'm not even sure WHY it is so easy to type it all out but so dreadfully intimidating to speak the same words. There have been one or two people I have actually traded phone numbers with to talk to and they both turned out dreadfully. I'm simply not as witty and cool live as I am in print. (...see that... I said something POSITIVE about myself! No clue if it's true...)

There is a fortune to be made for the person capable of taking a friendly bunch of Aspies in a forum and finding the magic formula that lets them translate that same rapport in person... millions I tell you... millions...

Well I'm not quite at the stage where I could physically speak to people I don't know well online or on phones, I'd much rather do it in person or in writing.
Plus, I don't really like my voice. Whilst that doesn't really stop me speaking in person, it is a bit of a hurdle elsewhere...I guess it may be because you can't see the other person.

I hate my voice too. It's much too low for a woman. I really hate how I sound recorded and I'm pretty sure that's how everyone hears me.

I'm just very out of practice in talking to people for anything other than business. I'm entirely unintimidated when it's just business. I don't really care what people think of me personally as long as the job is getting done. But, when I meet someone I'm interested in as a friend, I'm suddenly terrified. I never know where to look. What to say. When i care what someone thinks i just get discombobulated.

Classic social anxiety I think.

I am more comfortable with business also, but I still have difficulty getting the words out, so I still hate trying to do it. I'd rather just email.

Skype scares the s**t out of me~! Even more so than being with someone in person. I mean, there's nothing to do. It's not like you can catch a movie together and thus have something to talk about. Plus, I'd be freaked out at seeing my face, I'm already self-conscious enough as it is. PMs (which is how I'm communicating with the penpal on another site) are easier.
I've texted with my online friend and it was cool. The call was pretty damn awkward, but mercifully short. We still talk and generally say funny things, but we can only exchange witticisms for so long, right? That's what I'm worried about.
Still, talking like this on this thread is far more than I could have managed if we were all sitting in one room together. Some things just don't come out right irl. Or at all

If that device could process the thoughts in my head and make me say them without being misunderstood, misconstrued, laughed at, met with awkward silences, ignored, or being made to look like an ass/douche/loser (I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about to some extent), I would pronounce the inventor a god. Not that I have the power to pronounce anyone anything, but still~

and for what it's worth, draelynn, I think you're witty and cool ^_^ Plus, you started this thread! XD

You know, it's kinda weird. When at work, I don't really care what people think of me. I just let it all hang out. As long as I don't have to talk about myself personally, I can,at least, keep up with the bullshitting. But, if I'm with someone who's opinion I value, I crash and burn. I had a doctor suggest I had social anxiety disorder - I still do not believe that I do but how do you tell the difference between accepting that you suck at social crap and an outright disorder? I don't feel anxiety, per se, when faced with social interaction. I'm more dreading it because I know how much energy it will sap out of me. I know I'll have to put on the act, run the scripts, monitor my expressions, double check everything I want to say to make sure its not rude, read all the body language ques to make sure I'm to boring them to death... It's alot of f*****g work! And I think I may have reached my limit for it. I see no pay off from all that effort.

On the way home from my doc appt yesterday, I was ranting about the doc and her easy dismissal of an Asperger's dx for all the stereotypical kids dx misconceptions. A dx will do nothing for me because there are no therapies, no treatments that can help me. I've taught myself enough social scripting over the years that I may not even be diagnosable but that doesn't change my discomfort - that crawling-out-of-my-skin feeling every time I need to put those skills to use. I told my husband that all the social skills training they may recommend was useless because all it would teach me would be how to make other people more comfortable. Learning eye contact and small talk and reading body language - all of that isn't about making social interaction easier for me but about making otehr people more cofortable becasue other people are unable to accept anything different. Nothing about learning or using those skills make ME comfortable. Learning those skills make other people more comfortable WITH me so they deem to grace me with their presence but its not ME. It's an act. It will always be an act. I need to learn skills to make friends who decide to return that friendship based on a lie.

It's a hard pill to swallow - that people don't like you for who you are.

Here, no one is disturbed by my frowny face. No one minds that I fidget while I type. No one cares that I'm looking all over but rarely at them. Online connects are the only ones I've been able to successfully maintain for any length of time. A screen takes away the bias that lies on the other side.

Sorry, I'm a bit negative today. But thanks! Everybody here is pretty dang cool for putting up with me!

Sorry, I'm a bit negative today. But thanks! Everybody here is pretty dang cool for putting up with me!

Hey, your still human for, it's not easy to navigate the world without difficulty...

I'd like to meet the person that has... so I can call them a liar to their face!

draelynn, I'll say that both of "us" would likely wish to put a sock in one's mouth whom thinks being able to find one's way.Honestly, I'm no expert for, there are times when I feel my social blunders are too numerous.Still, I try neverless..Not much else to say on this as, I don't want to make oithers here feel uncomfortable shall on say..

Signed,
ProfessorX