party time

Post Reply New Topic

went to a party last night and it friggin sucked.

i don't know how, but i somehow get automatically phased out of ANY conversation that goes on.

it's amazing.

and once im out, no one pays me any attention and it comes down to either A) i stand there like an idiot with no one talking or looking at me as i watch everyone else coninue on perfectly w/o me.... or B) just move on, to hopefully bump into another conversation... but am usually unsuccessful and wind up again with making a decision between A or B.

i knew a lot of the people there and i would even say some are my friends, but they all seem to act the same at parties... i guess im just not good at parties. it wasn't very fun. i couldn't even amuse myelf by pretending to be some kind of human beahvioralist in the midst of her greatest study of a lifetime....

on a side note....that's kind of something i've found as of lately... after finding out about AS... all the weird things i do/think to make myself feel better (whether it's engaging in one of my interests or in some sort of delusion) just seem to lack luster.

i can't do my hobbies... can't do my work. i just feel depressed.

I've found that the best cure for a case of the blues is a good night sleep, which will help you forget whatever depresses you. That, or seek professional help.

Oh, and find some better parties to attend.

Some parties are horrendous.

I find they normally improve with the rigorous application of alcohol.

Not the world's best advice, but there we are.

I usually go to parties where there's dancing. Unlike a lot of aspies, I'm actually pretty good at dancing, which puts me at a slight advantage at parties. So instead of trying to join a conversation, I ask a girl to dance. It's especially easy when they're playing Salsa music; it's once of the dances I know, and it's pretty popular among NTs. I was a party once with my friends, and they were playing a lot of Latin music. The girls I asked to dance were pleased with the fact that I knew Salsa, and they seemed to enjoy dancing with me. Since normally you don't talk while you dance, I didn't have to try hard to come up with cool things to say.

My advice, is not to drink at parties... An aspie should not be getting drunk somewhere they intend to socialise, because then you aren't conscious or aware of yourself enough to always notice if your stemming or not in any way (if I said this correctly lol?)... It's better to practice socialising when your sober.... Of coarse who am I to talk I smoke weed, which can make me go pretty dry of conversation sometimes... My mind will blank out sometimes when i'm talking to someone in a conversation, when I'm fried, and I get stuck trying to come up with something to say or talk about.. But that's not nearly as bad as alcohol can mess you up trying to socialise though.

Sedaka,

Do you like to drink? A party is pretty much an all-you-can-drink buffet. I usually take your Option A which allows plenty of time for "camping out" near the keg.


Cheers!

Large amounts of alcohol can help. But you have to be at the right party - some parties will always suck due to the people being moranic brats with no life and the greatest of sheep-following instincts.

I have been to some very fun and accepting parties held by methsco (Methodist) groups - not to say I'm even slightly religious; they just tend to be nice people. And where does it say in the bible you're not allowed to get very drunk for the fun of it? Anyway...

I have also found the more geeky parties to be far better -- i.e. the ones with people who you already have some topical relevance with.

But at the end of the day... some always will suck, and not because of you.

I cant even recall very many times that I attempted to interact with a "group" conversation.The few memories I have were dismal and confusing.I seem to have a rare "gift" of stopping a conversation cold.I dont know what I say,but people seem to stand there in shocked silence for a few beats,and then continue talking around me without commenting on what I said.It's almost like my voice is the sound of a mosquito that they hear for a second..then decide it's of no interest, and move on..very weird.Most of my memories of parties went like this....I go into a party,pay my 2 bucks and get beer from the keg then see if there is a book self around and lean against the wall near it.Because I am below eye level,I am invisible to most people and I can listen into their conversations.I study them for awhile and see if there is anyone with in the group that seems to be creative thinker or intelligent or "liberal"....If the person is interested in anything of interest to me,I have a conversation starter if I decide to approach them(once I have enough of a buzz to loss my social phobia)If no one at the party seems interesting to me,I have the book shelve near by and will pick up a book to read while I am drinking...Since I was female and not to "ugly",some males would usually approach me and ask why I was so depressed?I have a lot of reasons,so this can lead to a more interesting conversation then the average party small talk about how the football team is doing this year.

I'm sorry to hear about that!

I hope things improve with you soon!

I have the same problem.

I like clubs because its too loud for people to talk, and you can just dance in a group.

A decent amount of alcohol is good to loosen up a bit on the dance floor