depressed

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right now i just feel like bursting out in tears and crying out loud because i feel so alone unwanted and unloved and i feel like society does not accept me as a person with aspegers im regarded as some freak and i get made fun of and so f*****g sick and tired of it i believe its because of people like the ones that harass me for my disability that s**t like columbine happens they are the ones that start it by bullying someone and pushing so hard that it just blows up im not saying i support what happened at columbine but im just saying this is how s**t like this starts. But im just depressed as hell ive been rejected over and over and over again and ive wanted to be with a girl now since 1999 its almost 2007 ive waited nearly a decade and ive done everything possible to try to ask a girl out and become friends with them first but im considared a freak of nature and frankly im f*****g sick and tired of it

f*ck I wish I knew what to say..

I've been in this place so many times, and the only way I got out of it was finding something that drives me alone, whether it be music, or research, or ANYTHING..

If you wanna chat get onto the chatroom, I've found it can help me a lot when I'm feeling low, some wonderful people there.

I know how you feel.

I see myself as being misunderstood than being rejected.

I wish that I would have more true friends that accpeted me with who I am.

If people were to make fun of me, I'd wish that they do it in front of my face.

Because I always had these intuitive feelings at my old school that students were nice to me in FRONT of me, but provided I weren't there, their mood towards me would change entirely.

There was a girl in my homeroom last year that only heightened those feelings; I remember one day her saying, "you know how weird they think you are." The paraphrase does what happened no justice, though; the way she said it made me think she believed it also.

As for getting a girlfriend, why does it matter? Relationships with an opposite sex (or the same sex, even) appear to me to be conducted in a foriegn code of expectations. It looks like it takes work to maintain a relationship.

My health teacher taught us in eighth grade never to console a person by saying, "I know how you feel" because it does not account for the intricacies of human emotion.

So this I can say: I think we have all been in your situation at one time or another.

Relationships take LOTS of work, if you find someone you're willing to put in that effort for, and they for you, the answer is in the very attempt huh?

Otherwise its very important to be stable alone, to know you can exist with or without another, so if you happen to click with someone its a sharing, not a depending on each other.

immortalwarrior,

In the short-term you need to calm down and be stable first, like Scintillate said. How you do this depends on what you're like:
(1) Solitude works for some
(2) Do well in something (game, academic, cookery, whatever) that you know you will do well in works for some
(3) Exercise works for some
(4) If you have a special interesting (reading, gardening, computers, chess, music) DO THAT until you feel calmer.

And in general, repeat as needed!

I do know where you're coming from. I've been there too and it doesn't feel good. And it will take time for you to come out of it. And when you do come out of depression, you'll look back at yourself when you were depressed, and be able to understand stuff in a way that you can't understand right now, because you're depressed. But the very first step is to calm down a bit. You also took a very good action by coming here and writing it out. I bet that made you feel better - when you wrote it all out?

I've felt suicidal, until I've found my special interest. Now I'm using that interest to motivate me to start some art work.