How're we supposed to live in a world we weren't created for

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I just don't get it. People don't realize how much harder it is for us aspies. I feel like I was made way too sensitive for this world. I don't understand people. And no matter how hard I try, I can't get along with others. Each time I think I've gotten the hang of it, people who I think are my friends get mad at me and turn on me. I just don't understand how to survive in a world where people are so cruel and evil and selfish. Do nt's simply ignore this, or do they not realize it? I get called dramatic for confronting people when they are wrong, so it's " normal" for people to ignore bad behavior in others? Please, enlighten me on this, because I'm really struggling right now. ):

I cannot enlighten you at this point, but I'm with you on this.

I hope someone has some great answers....

IMHO, the OP should save her energy and associate only with quality [read: evolved] people and not waste her time with the bad actors.

Hello!

I couldn't agree more. People who are 'worth a damn' will accept you as you are.

Don't waste even a moment trying to please those you'll never be able to please anyway. Most of their disdain is motivated by jealousy.

When I was growing up, I, too, struggled for acceptance. I was sent to a number of psychologists, who all came to the conclusion that any problems my peers had about accepting me as I am weren't because of me; I was fine.

Ultimately, I realized that God sent me here as one of His angels, sent to test others as to their sincerity about the faith they proclaim. At that point, I became primarily concerned about pleasing God, and now believe that those who can't accept me as I am can simply go to hell. (Despite this attitude, I find myself to be acceptable to most.)

Many with our 'disorder' reject God & Son. If you do, also, then you have my apologies. However, if you feel as I do - that you don't belong here, then perhaps the place you DO belong is in the world to come? May you find the peace to live in this world, regardless of the path you follow to discover it.

73 DE N4RPS/3
Rob

dr. seuss [ted geisel] said "Be who you are and say what you feel because people who mind don't matter and people who matter don't mind."

Yep!

There isn't really any "this world", I don't think. The trick is finding your niche in the great big conglomeration (undeniably dominated by neurotypical confusingness, yes) of people and mindsets that make it up. In other words, people who accept you and who you are comfortable with.

I'm only 17 but already i have come to the conclusion that i don't need or want nt's anymore. I want to live my life having nothing to do with them. People bring me nothing but misunderstanding and misery. I dream all day about living on an island or another planet where just people like us could live in peace away from the nt's.

the only people i care about are people who don't judge me, and can accept who i am.

I want to embroider that on a pillow, or hang it on the wall.

I think these two quotes provides a quite good answer to the thread starter.

Obviously you found this site, so you now you have the means to circumvent and navigate in world full of NTs. And find other aspies as a bonus.

Find out what tend to correlate with people that you like. If a lot of them are into "X", then you know what to look for to have a high probability that you like them in the end.

Beckym, I could have written your post myself.....sigh. I do know precisely. And there is no answer (but auntbladdy's comment is, as always, right on target). And sorry you're especially struggling right now

It is hard, isn't it? Ironic in that Aspies, as autistics, are actually labelled as 'unempathic' (but the precise meaning differs, of course) when in actuality we are the most sensitive and ethical beings. In a sense, NTs have it easy - they just don't give a care and can inflict it without flinching: obliviousness is bliss for them, I guess. I believe though what the others wrote (i.e. Inyanook), that we have a niche and that's what matters.

One time my friend (NT) sent me the best card and I still have it. The cover reads 'the key to success is getting up and dusting yourself off one more than you've fallen.' - What is most ironic is that we've actually not fallen.....we've been tripped.

However you want....I mean if we aren't made for this world that means there's no standard, so make your own. In reality that's easier said than done because it is very hard to swim against the current, or walk against a strong wind.

It's not that we weren't created for this world, but that this world wasn't created for us.

I assume that you're referring to the world of human interactions, since if that world vanished and we were living on Earth as it were before human civilization, I'm sure that all but the most handicapped people, Neurotypical or otherwise, would have basically equal chances depending on intellectual and physical abilities (without "cheating" by forming groups, we may even have an advantage). The rules of human social interactions, however, were created by Neurotypical humans, not Earth. Since they are currently the majority of people living in this system, if it didn't work for them, they'd change it (see the smaller examples like civil rights movements, where the system didn't work so they started changing it). It was created for Neurotypicals!

If we had created the world of human interactions, it would be much easier for us, but whether or not it would be easier for the Neurotypicals remains to be seen. I theorize that it would be easier for them to adapt to our world than for us to adapt to theirs as long as we raised them in our world since Neurotypicals naturally pick up on social rules. They might get bored or something without gossip, though.

Is it not one that stands on they own, that goes against what you people call the norm, that shakes they feathers & gets people to join a course. Last time I looked the majority don't change things. It's the minority, draw a line on the ground & say enough is enough, we won't tolerate or suffer in silence any more. Stand alone as powerful leader, stopping from fallowing the tide & standing out. So it starts off as one or some or many & builds. Until you got the majority on your side.

But if you don't show them reality or choose to ignore it or won't stand out of fear.
...

[ Balance - universal equilibrium - meeting in the middle, accepting the middle ground ]

( When does stretching the truth, become a lie, at one point it is going to snap )

Actually people normally don't like change. So even if it's not working, they would not change it. Even if a vortex opened & was sucking the world into it. With a switch saying flick here to change the world. They will choose not to :p Why you think we still using land phones & none creative environments, just bland soul sucking environments. While you work away, while they yap at you about increase your performance, when it is impossible without modifying the machine to go faster & ignoring one way systems of a ware house & when a device has a fault. No just repeat increase performance. Maybe I should take it literally & just attach another battery lol & swap out the motor for a more powerful one.

World was design for all of us. Until they bent it too far they way & want everyone to be the same. Like a bunch of zombie drones, with no colour.

Ye people really cope. Just look at the UK. It's infrastructure is out of date, they still building houses. At what point are they going to work out build up more. Before you end up having to buy land back from people.

The water system we have is laughable. Wrong type of ground that’s just hilarious when we can engineer huge artificial add ons to land. No one bothers to think how much of that water is sat on a shelf or been transported to another country, leaks.

Ye they great at changing stuff. Making things worse more like. They would all fallow each other off a cliff like lemons, if someone said it was good for they health.

So big thumbs up to they would change it, if they opened they eyes.

OP: I think the only thing you're missing or at least not accounting are all the other problems that some NT's can have that put them in the same spot we are. Society in general likes to sweep anything it doesn't want to see under the carpet, essentially be as lazy as it can be in collective and live in a dream world where people can stay as far from reality as they possibly can manage. The whole "Hide it for the sake of image" happens to people who are going through AS, going through profound domestic or child abuse, going through forms of mental illness, depression, even diabetics are labeled attention-whores, I have a chronic cough that embarasses the heck out of me along with coworkers who don't know the first thing about medicine but have that proclivity - albeit they don't voice it often - that 'they' (the medical community) should be able to do something about my cough (because it annoys them - hence it should be pinned on me, they can't imagine a world where things like this simply happen and are unavoidable). Similarly I have aquaintences and ex-friends who still believe that overweight people are lazy slugs; a few people in my group who even had that opinion ended up overweight and the other half are ripping on them to their faces half the time about it.

On the bright side we're a few centuries past burning each other at the stake or recommending/compelling honor suicide for people who don't cut it (at least in the first world). On the other hand its clear that we still have a long way to go before we have a particularly good world for anyone. As aspies we get quite an up-front and in-your-face showing, partly as well because most of what we go through can't be explained away on 'evil' and most of what we have ground into us are literally things beyond our wall and things that we can't help. Seems like that's the nature of this world and it seems like, if anything, people are still far more into terrorizing, humiliating, and raking people over the coals for what they know to be something that the person can't help (a bit like saying "Your irrevocably/genetically inferior as a human being because....").

I don't exactly know how we'll clean that mess up, its a complex issue in that you can't really 'make' people be adults internally or be responsible in how they deal with others. If we can solve that one we've solved one of humanity's greatest remaining obstacles.

Becky, I know that it can be difficult but not everyone is going to be mature in your age group. Ignorance is never attractive and it's not your fault that people will act that way, the best thing you can do is disassociate with them and find people that are a positive and understanding influence in your life.

Yes, people can be cruel and selfish but you shouldn't fixate on the negative aspects, it can be hard to have faith in people when you have been betrayed or hurt though. If you need someone genuine to talk to, feel free to message me.