Does anyone else forget they're a person?
Does anyone here forget they're a person?
To clarify, I don't think I'm a monkey, or think I'm a different person. I just forget that there is an I, that there's a line between me, and everything and everyone else. I forget that I am a thing. That I am a presence in a world that continues without me, and that people are people, and time passes and things are things.
This is getting vaguer the more I try to pin it down.
It's not like I'm floating above myself, observing things. It's not that I forget that I don't have power over all things or anything like that. It's just, like I'm empty, and there is nothing there.
I find it unsettling.
Yeah sometimes I think I am more of a leech or burden...but then I remember people who say that are just assholes and probably projecting their own self criticisms onto me. Maybe they work but are lazy about their job, so they think calling people who don't have a job(regardless of why) lazy will make them feel better or something.
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Winter is coming.
Maybe you're a natural Buddhist?
It could be called a blessing that you aren't addicted to and dependent on something that is only an idea in your head, a bunch of memories and concepts glued together in a more or less arbitrary way, something that is at best a distortion of reality. In theory, you should be free from all the things people have to do to uphold their identity, all the little lies they tell themselves and others to keep their ego intact.
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What goes on inside is just too fast and huge and all interconnected for words to do more than barely sketch the outlines of at most one tiny little part of it at any given instant. - D.F.W.
To clarify, I don't think I'm a monkey, or think I'm a different person. I just forget that there is an I, that there's a line between me, and everything and everyone else. I forget that I am a thing. That I am a presence in a world that continues without me, and that people are people, and time passes and things are things.
This is getting vaguer the more I try to pin it down.
It's not like I'm floating above myself, observing things. It's not that I forget that I don't have power over all things or anything like that. It's just, like I'm empty, and there is nothing there.
I find it unsettling.
Sounds like you loose your sense of self and become one with the cosmos. Do you know how lucky you are? Are you able to snap out of it and climb back into your own Identity? Can you go back and forth between the two modes of being, like walking through worlds? You would make a good Shaman.
Actually, this is a phase infants go through before they establish their sense of self. I imagine it can be a nice space to be in.
Sometimes I don't feel like a person because everyone else is different and my life doesn't seem real. I'm always waiting for my life to begin, but it never does.
Last edited by Marybird on 28 Jun 2012, 1:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Its not easy and sometimes the hardest thing to do is use this to your advantage You will have to figure this out for you By being sure of yourself I made a list of my Aspie traits that are positive I immaturaly focus on these as superpowers I get a lot of crap about saying Superpowers but it is what works for me and my 3 and on those days where either I or my 3 are our own worst enemies we say Assburgers sounds silly right but once I know it's not my stupidty or bad luck it's just an Aspie trait of my own causing me to be in my own way saying Assburgers kinda jolts me back into reality reminding me to either run thru that mental not of all my superpowers or one of the ones I have written down on paper My kids also do this it's what works for us and you will have to find what works for you & it's not all giggles and rainbows when I get that feeling of being on the wrong planet or not being human I'm sometimes in a very dark negative place in my life before I realize it's Assburgers time to bust out some Aspie superpowers and get on with life So as I said sounds immature right? Silly right? Yes but it helps Hope this makes a little bit of sense and I didnt repeat or use to many examples I can try to clarify if you need me too?!
@Sweetleaf, I'm sorry you feel that, but that is not the thing I am talking about. It's not that I feel like I am less than a person, or godlike, or anything. I forget that I am a conciousness. I mean, that I'm a person, in a body, separate from all other things and people.
@Bullcbull it is? How does one use it to their advantage?
@LookTwice no, I find that when I do remember I am a person, I try harder to keep my identity intact. When I remember I am a person, the question of who I am, and what is a person gets bigger and more upsetting to the point where I feel physically unwell. I agree with a lot of Buddhist principles though, it seem like an excellent way to live your life, it seems like a good salve for rampant individualism.
@again_with_this this is something that I'm interested to know as well.
@SilkySifaka how did you get to that point?
@fathom73 do you consider that to be how everyone is, or just you? Yeah, I know what you mean (I think), I'm always surprised when the same situation makes other people feel different, I'm also usually surprised about the strength of peoples emotions. Emotions are definitely something I underestimate.
@ThinkTrees, yeah.
@Marybird I don't think it's particularly lucky, I don't enjoy it and it interferes with my functioning. I have absolutely no control over it, and it's been happening for as long as I can remember. Nothing about it is like walking at all.
I'm not a spiritual person, I would make a horrible 'shaman'.
Hmm, 'waiting for my real life to begin' reminds me of a song, I'm fairly certain it was in scrubs. It'll be stuck in my head for days now. xD
Falsetto Tesla, I like the way you addressed everyone personally. That was very thoughtful and considerate, and that is a quality you could use to your advantage.
When the boundaries between self and other people and the environment are obscured, that could make a person naturally considerate and giving.
I was wondering if not having a separate sense of self or identity or ego, or the way I think of it, as a social identity, is what makes socializing virtually impossible. Could that be what makes ASD people feel so different and alienated? Do you need that separate social identity to relate to other people? I mean you could have a logical mind and feelings, but something in the way of a social personality is missing.
Any thoughts on this? Can anyone relate to this?
Empathy in excess is what results, for me.
So I can socialise, but it's not the easy experience of someone with identity boundaries.
I know I'm an alien socially because most people don't feel with others the way I do. They are busy with their own experiences, working out what will benefit them, having no idea that others are the same as they.
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AS 169/200
NT 23/200
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