-3. Foggy and lethargic from taking the anti anxiety rescue med (clonidine) the psych prescribed (instead of the one I asked for). I realize Xanax has a high abuse potential, but it left me clear-headed and not dragging (and also not high, just calm), and that's why I asked for it specifically.
But, of course, WHY would a highly educated professional listen to a mentally ill, developmentally disabled person?? Or the (as far as she knows) NT brought in to advocate (who didn't at all)??
Took it because of another argument. I got to experience what it must be like to have ADHD over the weekend. I understand why he never hears all of what I say, why he can't ever just listen, why he always has to be doing something else too. Hyperkinesis is useful for getting a lot of things done very fast, but it's a terrible feeling to not be able to gratify.
Having had that experience, I wish very much that there was a customizable autism simulator that I could make him take, or wear, or whatever, for ten days to get an understanding of my reality (instead of just dismissing it and telling me it's all unreasoned anxiety and not the consequences of compensating for autism).
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"Alas, our dried voices when we whisper together are quiet and meaningless, as wind in dry grass, or rats' feet over broken glass in our dry cellar." --TS Eliot, "The Hollow Men"