Trying to find my place...

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solo
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

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Joined: 21 Mar 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 90
Location: Cleveland

18 Jan 2017, 3:20 am

I am more confused than ever when it comes to life. I come on here and try to learn about relationships and how the rest of the world thinks and it just baffles me. There are some crazy smart people on this website talking about relationships and to read what they are saying has me question if I actually am an aspie.

Some of these posts about relationships are so in depth that it almost sounds like a foreign language where I don't know a single word. I am just a simple person. I work hard, help others in need, different than anyone, live like a hermit after work, paint over my loneliness with my hobby. This website really teaches me that I know nothing about people anymore and I feel that I am just not cut out for this. I don't understand how human interaction truly works I guess. I read posts and a lot make me feel that I should just continue my path of loneliness until I die early of a disease or loneliness. I am just so confused. I know what I would like to have out of life but don't know how to get it and deep down I don't believe that I ever will.

I just don't fit in here at all, I feel like the dumbest person on this website. I try to contribute to posts but hold back because I am just not at the level of members here. I wish I knew of others like me but I don't even know who I am really. I am just lost and wish that I had someone that showed any interest and likeness to myself. I don't seek out friends or relationships because I know that I am not what anyone wants. I have a lot to offer but from what I see in the world, it's not what anyone wants, so I hide away. I just don't make sense and neither does this post :oops:



kraftiekortie
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Joined: 4 Feb 2014
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Posts: 31,292
Location: Queens, NYC

18 Jan 2017, 8:26 am

I'm not that smart----but I have 30,000 posts.

What is your all-time favorite thing to do?



Ashariel
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18 Jan 2017, 6:07 pm

I think a lot of people feel like misfits here (myself included) - so you're not alone!

I don't work, or date, or have friends, and can't contribute to those threads either. Mostly I just hang out in General or Random - they tend to be very accepting folks there!



solo
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

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Joined: 21 Mar 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 90
Location: Cleveland

19 Jan 2017, 3:03 am

I do what I like to do almost every day (after work) but it does get frustrating for sure. Turn wrenches. I go way overboard partly because it's fun and part to try to fill in that hole. No true friends for sure, just people who want things from me. Never had someone to tell my fears and hopes and loves me (I think that may only exist in tv). Live like a hermit. Work 60-90 hrs a week to come up less than most 40 hr workers. So no time for dating, never dated, and don't believe that I am worth it to anyone due to multiple reasons) Never seen anyone really interested in me so I have accepted it, yet I haven't. I haven't had a hug from a women in probably a decade now. I am so far behind socially that it has become crippling embarrassment. I don't even like typing this because I read all the time in the other boards that what this is is someone complaining to gain sympathy and that it's my own fault for not changing. I agree to an extent, my mind holds me back, yet my mind struggles to figure out how to change. What I learn about relationships is from here and what I see on tv which is just sad. I try to learn and understand. Always have that hope to find someone here possibly like I have read a few members have, that accepts me. But I do not search anything out. I envy those who find someone out in public or through friends. Tough when you have none and work too much to go anywhere. It was simpler in school when you were surrounded. Oh well, had to get that off my chest is all. Time to read some more.....



kraftiekortie
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Joined: 4 Feb 2014
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19 Jan 2017, 10:33 am

I think you're a viable person. I'm sorry you haven't had many friends or girlfriends.

However, the fact that you are self-sufficient means that you will be attractive to friends and lovers alike.

I feel like your first step would be to acknowledge, to yourself, your basic viability.

Then go out in the world, and share the normal irritations of working so many hours in a crappy economy. Many other people are in your shoes, whether they have a "disorder" or not.

Just because you are not suave doesn't mean you will not be attractive to many people.

I certainly have no "suavity." I realized this early, and went from there.

Confidence in your viability is essential.