Am I too damaged to be fixed?

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Marknis
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05 Feb 2018, 11:30 am

I feel like I am too "damaged" as a person to ever get better. I want a better life but all I get are walls at everything I do. I keep getting the message that I can't move forward and I should just disappear. I am no longer "new"; I didn't achieve certain expectations in my developmental years so I feel like an outdated product that should be thrown away. :(



kraftiekortie
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05 Feb 2018, 11:34 am

Nope. You can definitely get fixed. You're not as "broken" as you think you are.



Marknis
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05 Feb 2018, 12:38 pm

But if there is a repair process, how long will it take? Weeks? Months? Years? Decades? The thought is very daunting.



Mudboy
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05 Feb 2018, 1:02 pm

Have you ever thought about being a disc jockey? Do you ever put together playlists of songs you like? You could work in a station, or work out of a home studio, playing parties.


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kraftiekortie
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05 Feb 2018, 1:13 pm

It could take a very short time, or a very long time.

If you really actively help yourself, the time taken to "repair" yourself will probably be much shorter.

I would try to laugh at the "Bible-belters," rather than be pissed at them. That's what I used to do with my bullies: laugh at them, laugh at their follies.



Marknis
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05 Feb 2018, 2:07 pm

Mudboy wrote:
Have you ever thought about being a disc jockey? Do you ever put together playlists of songs you like? You could work in a station, or work out of a home studio, playing parties.


I don't have a large circle of friends and the palette of the city I live in is largely pop country or rap, genres I do not like.

kraftiekortie wrote:
It could take a very short time, or a very long time.

If you really actively help yourself, the time taken to "repair" yourself will probably be much shorter.

I would try to laugh at the "Bible-belters," rather than be pissed at them. That's what I used to do with my bullies: laugh at them, laugh at their follies.


I want to prove them wrong in that you don't need to follow the crowd to live a good and successful life but I keep slamming into walls.



shortfatbalduglyman
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05 Feb 2018, 2:27 pm

Marknis

Based on your previous posts, it appears that, there might be methods to "fix" the damage. However, those methods are not always obvious, fast, or easy. Or complete. You can't change the past. Some of the damage is permanent, but it seems hard to fancy that all of the damage is permanent

Furthermore the future could damage you more.

The way i look at it is like, it is easy for someone to shoot me with a gun. It just takes a couple seconds and calories, and a gun, and the intention.

But the damage takes a lot of energy to fix. It has to be a stampede of medical doctors. For a long time. It costs $$. It is risky. With intention and outcome.

And even then, it is not as good as it was before. And it was never that great to begin with



domineekee
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05 Feb 2018, 2:43 pm

Have you thought of moving to the country?



Marknis
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05 Feb 2018, 2:53 pm

domineekee wrote:
Have you thought of moving to the country?


And be surrounded by even more rednecks and country music? No thanks.



auntblabby
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05 Feb 2018, 2:55 pm

living out in the sticks as a hermit for a decade now, my damage has become a feature. I am in my element here and that which were defects in society are no longer so, now. some people are just not compatible with other people no matter what adjustments are attempted, it is outside of the practical adjustment range to deal with some people, and for some of us, to deal with the lions' share of people.



fluffysaurus
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05 Feb 2018, 3:16 pm

auntblabby wrote:
living out in the sticks as a hermit for a decade now, my damage has become a feature. I am in my element here and that which were defects in society are no longer so, now. some people are just not compatible with other people no matter what adjustments are attempted, it is outside of the practical adjustment range to deal with some people, and for some of us, to deal with the lions' share of people.

That sounds good to me. I think Marknis is a bit more social though, or would like to be.


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Marknis
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05 Feb 2018, 5:12 pm

fluffysaurus wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
living out in the sticks as a hermit for a decade now, my damage has become a feature. I am in my element here and that which were defects in society are no longer so, now. some people are just not compatible with other people no matter what adjustments are attempted, it is outside of the practical adjustment range to deal with some people, and for some of us, to deal with the lions' share of people.

That sounds good to me. I think Marknis is a bit more social though, or would like to be.


I want to be more social but my attempts always fail. I don't want to be a hermit because it would mean those who hurt me will win and tell me "See? Told you!" if they found out I gave up.



kraftiekortie
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05 Feb 2018, 6:30 pm

I happen to believe that AuntBlabby still has many of the virtues necessary to be a good person.

And he's pretty smart, too.

I'm sure, if I met him, he wouldn't be some crusty "mountain man."

He'd be more a man of refinement---more like that Doc in "Back to the Future" than Grizzly Adams.

Doc has his eccentricities---but he still treats people decently.



kraftiekortie
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05 Feb 2018, 6:45 pm

And Marknis seems like a cool guy, too.

I believe in change in OUTLOOK would work wonders.

And maybe....get in contact with some anime-type people on this Forum, and other Forums.

I know very little about anime.

I used to watch "Speed Racer", which was anime, back in the 1960s-1970s---but I didn't know it was anime at the time (and not many others knew it, either).



MSBKyle
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05 Feb 2018, 6:59 pm

I can relate to you. I don't believe I can be fixed either. I am stuck in my old habits and way of thinking. I've been to counseling and have taken antidepressants but they don't do that much for me. Therapy and medication does not change the situations you are in. It is suppose to change your thinking on how to cope with that situation. I just cannot change my way of thinking even if I tried. Changing your thinking does not bring back what has been lost or damage that has been done. Some people just cannot be fixed.