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Cocoon
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06 Jan 2017, 7:07 pm

I've never posted on a forum and still don't want to but I'm angry enough that I don't care.

I need to write this emotion before I can let it go for the evening. I don't know if this is the place for it, and I don't mind if it gets ignored or buried. I'd probably prefer that.

34 years old, trying to become independent. New city, new career, no friends, challenge accepted.

Today I'm furious. Or hateful, or hard, wary, I don't know. People are liars. By default, don't rely on people. Don't trust their verbal language, and even be suspicious of the nonverbal. Someone warm/friendly/kind can become hard/uncaring overnight. Scammers are convincingly kind. Former friends and family can shut you out with a reassuring smile. And you aren't fooling anyone when you act how you want to be seen; they can see through you. I keep learning this lesson over and over, on paper and in practice, but I'm slow to remember it in real-time and the errors are costly. I'm writing this publicly to cement it in my memory, and maybe see if I'm not the only one.

I don't want to be hateful and I dislike generalising people. But maybe it's important and useful to become suspicious and hardened in life?



Also: are we allowed to swear in this subforum? Because it would really have helped emote this post properly.


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mr_bigmouth_502
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06 Jan 2017, 10:03 pm

I swear on here all the f*****g time. It's technically against the rules, but I've never been given any grief about it. I think so long as you're not attacking other members, you should be good.


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Kiprobalhato
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08 Jan 2017, 12:38 am

a well placed sense of suspicion and distrust can be very useful/protective and it would be unusual if one DIDN'T form one of those after having been mistreated and misled by others their whole life. it helps spares one from further pain, as youthful naivete can cause.

i would just ask that you do not miss out on life's occasional joys because of it.

Cocoon wrote:
Also: are we allowed to swear in this subforum? Because it would really have helped emote this post properly.


nobody has ever been able to agree on the exact details of the swearing rule, but i'd assume an age restricted forum has more leeway than an all ages one. i think you should be fine as long as you aren't attacking someone, like bigmouth said.

the real issue comes with discriminatory slurs, but besides that i don't recall ever seeing someone be reprimanded for swearing. if that's all you post, though, i might wonder if you're a troll.

(but you don't seem like one :wink: )


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B19
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11 Jan 2017, 3:53 am

Moderator Note:

There is a thread near the top of the Haven sub-forum where members can post rants!

While there is no rule against swearing per se, there are rules about causing offence to other members, so caution is necessary. In a thread like the Rants thread, swearing may be more acceptable, though some swear words are unacceptable as they are sexist and sexism is not permissible on any part of WP forums as it is always offensive to members.



Kraichgauer
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16 Jan 2017, 2:13 am

We on the spectrum can be way too trusting, and so are easily taken advantage of by NT's with sharp eyes for what they perceive as weakness. Becoming suspicious of the motives of others is something we all can and should learn.


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Kiprobalhato
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Yesterday, 12:44 am

B19 wrote:
Moderator Note:

There is a thread near the top of the Haven sub-forum where members can post rants!

While there is no rule against swearing per se, there are rules about causing offence to other members, so caution is necessary. In a thread like the Rants thread, swearing may be more acceptable, though some swear words are unacceptable as they are sexist and sexism is not permissible on any part of WP forums as it is always offensive to members.


thanks for the clarification. :)


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