I just want a break already!

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MarissaKay
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13 Nov 2017, 11:31 am

I know that there are ups and downs in life, but my family and I seem to have been getting the "down" parts a lot lately.

My cousin killed herself last month. Everyone is still dealing with the aftermath of that. What's even harder is that there was a big crowd that showed up to her memorial last Monday (over 125, maybe more). We just can't believe that she couldn't see how many people cared about her and would've done just about anything to help her out.

I can't help worrying about my mother. She and my stepdad sold their house and bought an RV to travel around the country- except they haven't been able to do that yet. My stepfather's having his 3rd surgery in 3 weeks. Considering his failing health and numerous other problems, I am so worried about my mom being left all alone. Even though she says she has a plan if the worst happens, she's the kind of person who can't handle being on her own.

My grandmother is dying of pancreatic cancer. She is physically unable to have any kind of treatment because years of chainsmoking destroyed her health. We're basically all sitting and waiting for her to pass away, which is just so difficult. She should be in a nursing home since she can barely even feed herself, but she's so stubborn. So it's up to family and hospice care to be her nurses.

Then, I've got my dad and my stepmother. They're wealthy and they're taking care of all of my finances and paying for my apartment until a deadline, but they are so emotionally toxic towards me.

Both of them mock my PTSD (and anxiety and depression), say my therapy isn't doing anything to help me, and make fun of my Asperger's quirks. They call me ugly because I don't wear makeup or do anything with my hair, tell me the things that I'm interested in are "stupid", and so on.

Also, nothing I ever do is enough for them: I've always thanked them profusely for helping me, but I'm not groveling enough. When I reluctantly turned down a job because of a conflicting bus schedule, I was yelled at for not being able to drive (even though they know perfectly well that I didn't have the chance to learn when I was in high school).

Even though I got a job last week, I was criticized for "not doing it earlier" or told it's "not good enough" because I may have periods of time where I don't work.

My therapist is starting to think that once I am financially independent, it may be a really good to stay far away from my father and stepmother. The idea of that sucks because I hate to just walk away from people, but I am also under the impression that being around them is not healthy for me.

The death of my cousin convinced one of my older brothers to just up and quit his job, saying that "life was too short", but he did it before finding a new place of employment. He's been homeless before (for an entire year) because of this attitude, and it makes me so upset that he's caught up in that cycle again of "I don't want to put any effort into anything anymore".

I consider this brother to be a "third parent" to me because of how close we are and because of the 11-year age difference between us, so it's just rough to watch him destroy his own life again.

I need, like, a million hugs. I am just so emotionally drained from all of this.


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sly279
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13 Nov 2017, 1:17 pm

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kraftiekortie
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13 Nov 2017, 1:19 pm

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Wolfman Hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Yep...families can certainly be a pain in the butt......



AquaineBay
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13 Nov 2017, 6:02 pm

Here's a hug! *hugs*

Your father and stepmother need to lay off! I get that they want you to be independent but, that just doesn't happen automatically! The annoying part is, those same people that criticize you for not having things like drivers license will do absolutely NOTHING to help you get whatever it is they are whining about that you don't have! (Very similar to the way the system is built for those on disability...)

Nowadays it's like the world and everything is built on you being alone! People only see you relevant if you can do everything yourself! What happened to helping people? What happened to caring about others lives? (Sorry when people do that behavior it gets on my nerves!)

Anyway, I hope you get the break you need.



Sarahsmith
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13 Nov 2017, 7:20 pm

*Hugs*

I had to move out because of toxic family. Things are so peaceful now. Good luck with your endevors.



BeaArthur
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13 Nov 2017, 9:44 pm

You have a LOT of bad stuff going on right now. You deserve a trophy just for hanging in there! I don't have a trophy to give you, but here's a virtual HUGE HUG.

I hope things start looking brighter for you soon.


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As part of the enlistment process, [Bea] Arthur underwent interviews that resulted in the production of “personality appraisal” sheets. One such analysis described her conversation as “Argumentative” and her attitude and manner as “Over aggressive.” In a handwritten note, the Marine interviewer remarked, “Officious--but probably a good worker--if she has her own way!”


Stardust Parade
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13 Nov 2017, 11:19 pm

Oh my goodness! ((great big giant hugs))

Hang in there!



TornadoEvil
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16 Nov 2017, 10:21 pm

Dom’t we all? Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming.



the_phoenix
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16 Nov 2017, 11:34 pm

Praying for you, Marissa Kay!

You sound like a strong person for dealing with all of this.

Sorry to hear about your cousin. Earlier this year, a friend killed himself. He, too, was immensely popular.

Also sorry to hear about the health problems of your parents and grandmother. I can understand why your grandmother doesn't want to be in a nursing home ... have heard stories about them from my best friend.

As for your dad and stepmother ... I hope you can safely get away, move somewhere better, and quietly
go no contact with them. And as soon as possible. They sound dangerous. Seriously. You have a job,
that's a good start.

As well, I hope your brother will find the strength to start life anew.



the_phoenix
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16 Nov 2017, 11:37 pm

Sarahsmith wrote:
*Hugs*

I had to move out because of toxic family. Things are so peaceful now. Good luck with your endevors.


Echoing this ...