The whole school thinks i'm "ret*d"

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Hello i'm youngboy and i'm new here and i'm not sure if i should post in this forum (please move my thread if i posted in the wrong section, thanks)

I have aspergers and i also have ADHD and some type of learning disable so forgive me for my terrible grammar.

Recently i've discovered that my whole school (Yes, whole school with like 500 members) thinks i'm ret*d, whenever i walked past them they'll yell at me to bully me, call me "ret*d" etc etc. my "friends" have been talk about me being ret*d behind me. All because I walked around on the school every recess (some type of break) 2 years ago because i don't know what i have to do and i feel happy doing that. Well now what can i do to help? I know talking to head teacher doesn't work because head teacher can't "brainwash" other students to like me again and my parents just don't care telling that i should talk to head teacher but i explained to them but doesn't work. I've tried doing naughty stuff to get kicked off school and all i got is a "parent meeting" and a decrease in mark. I'm so unhappy that i'm so infamous at school. So guys can you give me some suggestion? thank you.

Sorry to hear that you are finding school.

Are there any activities or clubs you can join at lunch break? There were all sorts of clubs at my school. I was in the debating club, the electronics club and the scrabble club. I met friends there that had similar interests to me.

It can't hurt to talk to one of your teachers about it. They might be able to help you in a way you haven't considered.

Hmm what country, state/province, grade. We need details
O, and welcome to the board.
Your grammar is not that bad, I can read it and understand it just fine

Whats going on is not unusual, In fact it's typical of NT's, thats an abbreviation for neuro typical, garden variety group thinking post chimpanzee normals.

How are you with you parents? Are they your biological parents? Is there other possible aspie's in the family?

One idea is too consider alternate education methods (Cyber school, etc.) Another is to look into what special education programs are available in your school district. There might be classes with others like yourself. 'Mainstreaming' is the preferred method these days, but I don't think it is a good catch-all for everyone. It does little good if your miserable, and maybe more harm then good for your mental health. Time to talk serious with your parents I would say. But I think you are correct in saying the school (teachers, etc) will not be able to put an end to it. It may be a good idea to let them know what is happening, but there is little they can do.

Hi, first off, please continuing using us here as a resource.  People here often have excellent suggestions.

And then, add free positives to your life.  People often forget this, but I think this is a very healthy response.

And to follow up on an above suggestion, Is there a teacher who seems halfway decent?  A seasoned teacher can just be in the area and has a way of saying "Knock it off" in response to bad behavior without having to know all the details.

Entrenched bullying situations are hard to deal with.   You know that.  Adults, and it sounds like including your parents, generally don't realize how bad it is or think it's much easier to solve than it is.  I'm going to try and find a link to Paul Graham's essay "Why Nerds Are Unpopular", both great and flawed as it may be.  And I'll let you decide whether this is a good idea to show your parents.
http://www.paulgraham.com/nerds.html

Okay, you've experimented with the deliberative misbehavior.  That's probably not a productive path.  Myself and other people here can help you strategize regarding other options.

My suggestion would be to just find better things to do with your time than be around jerks like that. People said bad things about me when I was in school, too (heck, they probably still do), but I didn't know it at the time. Because I'd found a better way to spend my time than dealing with people who were mean to me. I read. I read SO much - that was my way of getting away from everything. And I wrote, too. True, I didn't make my first good/consistent friend until college, but I didn't get hurt as much, either.

This may be unhealthy advice, mind you, so hopefully the other people on this thread will correct me if that turns out to be the case.

I also found a lot of solace in helping others. It's a great way of taking you from a position where you feel powerless (as is typical of the school age in general, but particularly so when you're being gossiped about), and putting the power - to do good, no less - back in your own hands. Find a way to volunteer, whether in person (a soup kitchen or an orphanage), or online. I did the latter, and it was really cathartic. Like when my parents divorced, I made a website to help kids whose parents were divorcing, too. It was a great way to work through my own problems, get positive feedback from others (great self esteem boost), and prove to myself that I could help others through what I wrote (mostly letting other kids know they aren't alone) which was a huge change compared to how helpless I'd felt before that. So if I was in your shoes, I'd probably make a website to help kids on the autism spectrum that are getting bullied at school. You'd be able to help others and yourself at the same time. Plus if you need community service hours for school, you can use this to get them. (You don't have to know anything about websites to make one, btw - I always say my grandma could make a website if I could only get her to learn how to double click. I used weebly.com, which is a free website maker, but there are other ways, too.)

Also, it gets better. It's fairly widely agreed upon that ages 11-17 (as cited in the article about nerds someone else posted) are some of the roughest ages. That certainly applies to my own life and that of my sister. But, generally speaking, it does get better. Gossip fades and popularity changes. Heck, in college, I found that oddly enough things switched from the popular kids being the ones that were the most 'normal' and who fit in to the popular kids being the ones that stood out. Believe it or not, one of the most well-liked (I don't say popular, because I associate that with the person being mean) girls in my dormitory in college had blue hair and got around campus on a Razor kick scooter wearing a tutu - she would definitely have been labeled 'a weirdo' in school (and she actually confided that she was and got bullied a lot when she was younger - also, my sister and I both got an AS vibe from her). I know that probably feels like a forever away, but it really does get better if you can just make it through. *hugs*

I read "Why Nerds Are Unpopular" & really wish it was less accurate.

"And as for the schools, they were just holding pens within this fake world. Officially the purpose of schools is to teach kids. In fact their primary purpose is to keep kids locked up in one place for a big chunk of the day so adults can get things done. And I have no problem with this: in a specialized industrial society, it would be a disaster to have kids running around loose.

What bothers me is not that the kids are kept in prisons, but that (a) they aren't told about it, and (b) the prisons are run mostly by the inmates. Kids are sent off to spend six years memorizing meaningless facts in a world ruled by a caste of giants who run after an oblong brown ball, as if this were the most natural thing in the world. And if they balk at this surreal cocktail, they're called misfits."

Please, let me tell you a bit about myself. I have a 150 IQ and I'm a sophmore in a highschool in the United States. Elementary school was okay. I got put in a program called T.A.G. (Talented And Gifted) and was allowed the freedom to study a lot things my "peers" wouldn't be ready for until much later. Then middle school came. It was absolutely miserable. I spent the sixth grade searching for solutions only to come to the conclusion that the only way I wouldn't have things thrown at me or suffer seemingly endless humiliation was to simply not go to school. I conducted several experiments to find the best methods of staying out of school that year. I managed not to show up for school a single day in the seventh grade and for only a couple weeks in eighth. There weren't required credits in middle school, so I wasn't held back or anything like that.

Then highschool came & instead of throwing things at me or threatening to do me physical harm, the other students reported to the police and school officials that I was doing a number of things that the knew I wasn't doing. Only one such report was ever taken seriously. I skipped school so much that I've failed nearly all of my classes this year and last. After all, it's hard to do assignments you weren't there for. I've been told that it will be impossible for me to graduate on time & advised to get my GED (something I'm more than capable of) and enter the real world with that.

I don't have a slution for you, but I want you to know you're not alone.

Be careful with your GED, LittlePig. It's fine if you go on to get an associates degree, but on it's own it's hard to get a job. (I'm told/unemployment stats say.) But if you do plan to go on to the associates (or some other higher education), I'd say go for it.

And, yes, the nerd essay rang true with me, too. It's nice to know it wasn't all in my head, though, and that other people made it through the same experiences...

I have the unfortunate experience myself of being a nerd who has only mildy above average intelligence (I didn't quite qualify for gifted). And yet, even when I was in a school for smart kids (an IB program), I was still a nerd. That's right, I was a nerd among nerds, ostracized among the ostracized. The irony was very much lost on me at the time...

OP, have you thought about virtual school? The more I think about my middle/high school experiences, the more I think they would have gone much better if all I had to worry about was education instead of the social side of things....

One way I got through public school was by constantly reminding myself that it would not last forever, and that college would be better. And it was so.

LOL that essay was so true. I actually broke the fourth wall once in school by pointing out to two fighting girls the only reason they were fighting was because the adults were intentionally egging them on to distract them from the fact they were in a cage. It was funny being a big guy / nerd in high-school and because of this I didn't have to deal with the s**t I did when I was younger but others still would not associate with me because they were not immune to my social status.

the thing that annoyed me the most is that parents assumed I was popular, but because I still hadn't worked past my social/aspie issues I was not functioning well on a social level at all and this actually caused me some issues with forming friends/ dating the nerd class because the parents assumed I was exploitative.

When I went to the University of Texas for my freshman year in 1982-83, my experiences were only so-so. There was bullying behavior in the dorm, including physical intimidation, which surprised me. It was worse than high school, but not near as bad as junior high. I wish this had not been the case, but it was. And people generally were not real interested in making friends in classes. I did hang out with some people in the dorm. What seemed to work was casually hanging out in the afternoon and then walking down to the cafeteria as a group.

Okay, so I think the alternative is the here and now. For example, when I was in junior high and high school, I got lucky in that both my boy scout troop and judo club were in other districts across school lines. So, only a little of my reputation followed. It was largely a fresh start. Now, groups can be as hierarchical as anything else (yes, the Sierra Club is in this category, at least in my experience), and often a group that only meets once a month doesn't do enough or meet often enough to get any kind of social traction going. And so, I think the point is to kind of light-touch a variety of groups. Basically, just respectfully visit a couple of times and then trust both your head and especially your gut reactions on whether a group feels promising. And try and have a couple of groups going at any one time.

They don't seem very nice

YoungBoy, you are right that a teacher or principal can't make other students like you again. But, if people are at least civil on the surface and in public most of the time . . . then over a period of months other students may start to break ranks, hopefully. And I'm sorry this has such an extended time period and is so indefinite. And the backup plan has to be changing schools. I mean, what else can it be? And it will help a lot if your parents come to understand this. Just that an entrenched bullying situation is a very difficult situation for anyone. And it's like an adult changing jobs (in a healthy economy!), that's the straightforward, solid backup plan.