so that firewatch job was horrible

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on another note that job didn't work out and cause I quit after the training I feel voc rehab will drop me for failuing to comply with all job placement stuff.

but honestly I am upset cause the saw mill is way more loud, anxiety causing, dangerous, less paying then working in a mechanic shop. so I don't get why they pushed me. I had a bad anxiety attack last night because of it and now I'm terrified to call voc rehab. I tried to bring up my concerns about it before but she just cut me off and treated me like I was making it up to avoid finding work. the job isn't a intro to security it isn't like security.
people who get paid way more and had way more training die in saw mills. they even told us about a guy who went thru the debarking machine. what I don't get either is she said she understood why I couldn't work in a mechanic shop because of the anxiety and noise, so I know lets make me work in a sawmill that is 20 times worse and combines all my fears in one. heights, big dangerous blades and tools, all kinds of machines that can kill you.
oh and she wanted me to find a part time job to start out and I wanted 8 hour shift full time cause that's the max I can mentally handle and even it drains me, so what happens the push me into 12 hour shifts within my first minute being there. which started at 6 am -6pm and they didn't even let me go from training til 8pm and I needed supplies to work the next day if I did so basically i'd only gotten 3 hours sleep to go work around dangerous machine where one wrong step could kill you. so I barely made it home without wrecking and had a panic attack. like this is why my doctor said I can't do jobs like that. its why I wanted security because its mostly calm work, walking around and writing reports. the whole time it was give me no information until last minute. and then stick me with 12 hour shifts for 6 days straight no time to rest or recover :'S all this for 1 weeks work making less then I do cashiering in a safe calm environment.

my family all told me I shouldn't' do it so I didn't show up and waited for them to call since well they never gave me contact number. I was going try to do it though I didn't think I should I honestly think it would likely have caused a mental break down. certainly no tem job is worth that right?
yet I feel like a failure and guilty :'(

feel like the voc rehab doesn't give a s**t and is trying to put me in a job any job. but If I could do that kind of work I'd stayed in automotive where I have a 20k degree and could make 20 an hour eventually.

because they don't. they get paid based on how many employees they put into the workforce.

you have some experience as a mechanic? have you considered fixing trailers? there's ALWAYS jobs out there if you can work on trailers. you're mostly just changing tires and replacing worn brakes. if you want a calm job, though, security is that. you truly do nothing but walk around and write reports. but keep in mind, you work for them, they don't work for you. my brother is a security guard. the second shift can call in with the flu and he has to work 16 hours. security may look easy on paper, but it's one of those jobs where they seriously rely on you, even if your job is stupidly easy.

Hey Sly,

Is there any way they could make you full-time on the cashier job?

That sawmill job doesn't seem like a good fit for you. Would you actually be working with the equipment? Or will you be performing some security function? If security, maybe I'd bring small earplugs to offset some of the noise.

They wanted you to work 72 hours per week?
I'd don't blame you for quitting. The thought of working 72 hours per week is enough to make me break out in a cold sweat.

886
trailers?
I think security or cashiering is the best for me due to the calm quiet area, people interaction but not like talking to the same person for hours, and less anxiety.

kraftiekortie
nope. its for the community college book store, during rush they are super busy, but the rest of the term they are near totally dead. they hire work study people for that, so the government pays the wages not the store.

not that a job as a cashier pays enough for women to like me. If it did I'd just try to find a cashier job.
its a underpaid fire fighting job. you wet down places where fire might start during welding and if fire starts you fight it. so it involves dragging a hose around all the equipment and welding. seems odd they weren't groing provide eye protection from welding. only thing I liked was wearing the overalls(which i imagine they going call pissed about wanting back) and helmet. scary as hell walking around the place. so many places will if you slip or step wrong you die.

the hiring agency also does security, which though might have just been a lie to try to get me to do fire watch. seems it'd been better to wait til the agency was actually hiring for security , instead voc rehab pushed me to do this job, ignored my concerns. now I've burnt with that hiring place and when they do hire for security I can't try there.

etroGamer87
guess a 56ish hour week. since I think the other shifts after the first two days would have been 8 hour shifts though they lied/fibbed about a lot of stuff so who knows. It totally freaked me out. ad to that it was all last miniute rapid change plans. Didn't even know about the training til an hour before it, then they forced me into 12 hour shifts starting less than 12 hours later with no preparation. I actually got hives/rashes on my legs from the panic attack. very itchy.

You know, trailers for a semi truck. There's more trailers then there are people to repair them. Figured you mentioned you had mechanic experience, the shop in salt lake city turns and burns employees all the time because they all want to work on engines. All they do is drive around, change tires, change lights.. it's relatively lax.

Either way if that doesn't work, security is great too.

Ugh, I've had to deal with stuff like that lately. The assessment I did in November. They sent me an email one Friday morning saying the thing has been moved a week forward, starting Monday but the main problem was they wanted me to give them my papers early that afternoon. They also sent an email explaining their dress code.

I thought I still had two or three hours to spare, so I wasted a lot of time obsessing about if I had clothes that matched their dress code but then I realized I hadn't seen my birth certificate in ages. I searched around for it. I searched around Mum's house for it as well. I couldn't find it anyway. The last time I wanted one I sent away for it and they mailed it to me a week later.

Eventually I found out the department of births, deaths and marriages in the city could print me a new one on short notice (with an additional fee for faster service). I rang them and they said that would be fine, so long as I had a photo idea with my address on it. I still had enough time to catch the train to the city and walk to the other side of town to the department then back to the office but then, I realized to my horror that my driver's license had my previous address on it.

I'd been living in that flat for months and spending most of that time doing nothing and I didn't think to go to the motor rego and get my address changed. I drove to the local motor rego, took a number and realized I'd have to wait ages. I looked up the train time table on my phone and found out I had about half an hour. About 27 minutes later they served me.

I got the address changed, drove a short distance to the train station, saw that the parks there, had a one hour limit on them, drove to the nearby shopping center, saw that the parks there had a four hour limit on them but risked it anyway, ran down the road, ran for the train and got on just time time. I was on the phone describing the situation to my employment agent, I was so overexcited I spoke in a rapid staccato like an auctioneer.

I thought I could still get it all done on time. She said that I couldn't. She said that I should go to her office and she'd drive me. But there would be no parking near the office of births, deaths and marriages so what was the point of being in a car?

I walked to her office, which in itself was a long and time consuming walk in the wrong direction, waited around as she leisurely chatted to someone and got into her company car. Then instead of going to births, deaths and marriages she went strait to the office. They said I could give them my birth certificate on Monday. I signed all their other stuff.

Afterwards I walked strait to the department and bought a birth certificate. I gave it to the office on Monday. They weren't in a rush to get it but one guy went through the whole four week assessment and while he was otherwise very responsible he was for some reason unable to get his birth certificate. At the end of the assessment they said he was fully qualified for the job, then didn't hire him because he didn't have a birth certificate. So I was wrong to think I'd need one that day but right to think I'd need one.

sounds rough. atleast you got the job that works for you right?

I can't get past how shitty I am and that I have to live 8 more years.

Hi Sly.

You are not crummy. Based on some of your posts, one of the qualities that I like about you is your sincerity, especially when you give analogies that are simplistic, yet thought-provoking.

If I had been in your situation, then I would've bolted too...I wouldn't have even lasted the entire day, so kudos to you for hanging in there.