Anxious about a lie somebody told.

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Sorry, I'm not sure whether this is the appropriate board to be posting on, but I need somewhere to vent my agitation!

Basically I have a friend who is lying about something (I don't want to say what), but the only reason I know he's lying is because I did some digging around and uncovered some information about him that I'm fairly sure he wouldn't want me to have. Since I obviously don't want him to know I dug around, I can't say anything to him or ask him why he's lying - but the fact he's lied is really bothering me and I don't know how to deal with that feeling because it makes me wary of trusting him on anything. If he's lying about this, then what else is he lying about? Has he lied about or misrepresented things to me in the past? Can I trust anything he tells me?

Not really expecting responses to this, since this post is rather vague, but if anyone has any suggestions as to how I can calm down and stop obsessing over this, or give me reasons it's better to continue to trust him than just believe everything he's said is a lie, I would really appreciate input!

The Haven is the perfect place to post this.

I could understand you being disconcerted that your friend is lying.

Of course, you don't want to reveal what he is lying about--but is he lying to protect you in some way?

Or is he lying to get something out of you?

You know what I believe? A liar will keep on lying and making up more untruths if he isn't called out on it.

I think that the secretiveness is making this way more complicated than it has to be. At least from the viewpoint of somebody who has no clue what this is really about.

Is it what he is hiding so bad? Or is it just the fact that he's hiding it from you? Or is it just something that just affects you and nobody else?
Did you consider that it could be his intention you not knowing what's happening? Maybe you think you're somehow entitled to his secret. Are you even part of it?

I don't have enough info to judge what situation your in ... can't help you

Wasn't tryin to be mean ... I just have a lot of questions

Thank you, everyone, for your replies.

I should perhaps have added that the lie is about something fairly unimportant (this guy saying he hasn't done something that I know he has in fact done). The lie wasn't even directly to me, it was just something he said in passing, so I don't think his intention was to deceive me specifically... I'm just confused because I don't understand WHY he's lying, and can't ask him about it. As I say, though, it's stressed me out because he has also previously said that he doesn't lie, so now I don't feel I can trust what he says. I know I'm being rather melodramatic, but it's just bothering me. As I say, I don't understand!

I never trust a person who says that he/she "never lies."

That statement alone would bother me.

Someone at work made a mistake and blamed me for it (to the head of our department, no less). I would have confronted her immediately, EXCEPT, the person who gave me the evidence would get in trouble for doing that. Now I just want to vomit every time I look at the lying fiend. Fortunately, it wasn't a huge mistake and I suspect the boss knew it wasn't me because I wasn't involved in that aspect of the situation that she was lying about. But, it's just the idea that upsets me, like you are saying.