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Lillikoi
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13 Oct 2017, 8:45 pm

I haven't been doing anything at all lately. I feel like nothing at all.

I woke up this morning and stimmed for a few hours. Then I stemmed some more. Then I stared at the ceiling and counted.

Now I'm sleeping. I don't feel like doing anything. :?



Lillikoi
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13 Oct 2017, 8:45 pm

Not even sad, just nothing.


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That guy is a dingus.


traven
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15 Oct 2017, 2:25 am

the >shame< brigade
at it

life's about waiting for the slow of mind#
slowing everything omg

poor us vs them
everyone has a handicap
and disabled is disabled, wether tis or tat



Raleigh
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15 Oct 2017, 8:54 pm

My mother is driving me INSANE!!
Calls me all the time and talks about exactly the SAME THING!!
Over and over.
All her freaking health problems reeled off one after the other.
I have enough health problems of my own.
What makes her think I want to hear all about hers REPEATEDLY!!
I don't go around there and tell her my problems.
I couldn't anyway, because I wouldn't be able to get a f*****g word in.


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It's like I'm sleepwalking


cathylynn
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15 Oct 2017, 9:57 pm

Raleigh wrote:
My mother is driving me INSANE!!
Calls me all the time and talks about exactly the SAME THING!!
Over and over.
All her freaking health problems reeled off one after the other.
I have enough health problems of my own.
What makes her think I want to hear all about hers REPEATEDLY!!
I don't go around there and tell her my problems.
I couldn't anyway, because I wouldn't be able to get a f*****g word in.


can you screen your calls and only answer when you've got a fair amount of emotional energy?



Raleigh
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15 Oct 2017, 11:33 pm

If I don't answer she'll end up coming around. :(


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Raleigh
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15 Oct 2017, 11:36 pm

Then I end up drinking.


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cathylynn
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15 Oct 2017, 11:45 pm

Raleigh wrote:
Then I end up drinking.


she's a tough case. what about lying? "thanks for calling, mom. i'm fine. would love to talk, but i can't right now. got a doctor's appointment." use that when you're really not up to it. there are only so many excuses you can have, unfortunately.



Raleigh
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15 Oct 2017, 11:56 pm

^ I do that sometimes.
Tell her I have an appointment or something on the fire, or whatever.

Mum doesn't even ask me how I am, just straight into all her problems.
It becomes exhausting, especially when I'm trying to stay positive and she only wants to talk about negative stuff.


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cathylynn
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16 Oct 2017, 1:03 am

Raleigh wrote:
^ I do that sometimes.
Tell her I have an appointment or something on the fire, or whatever.

Mum doesn't even ask me how I am, just straight into all her problems.
It becomes exhausting, especially when I'm trying to stay positive and she only wants to talk about negative stuff.

i'm sorry you have to and have had to deal with that.



jrjones9933
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20 Oct 2017, 6:26 pm

Hurts to even think about posting


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Dragnet
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21 Oct 2017, 1:33 pm

Me: I want to mkultra this b***h
Them: Arightly then
Me: wtf

* Don't worry about it, everything is OK *

Right...



jrjones9933
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21 Oct 2017, 6:24 pm

A disagreement or problem with someone usually has a solution. Unwillingness to talk to them does not seem to have any solution.


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Dragnet
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24 Oct 2017, 8:00 pm

Damn...

I got billed from the ambulance in my seroquel overdose and its damn near a grand :-(

Normally ambulances aren't that much but I have "advance life support" that is like $700 alone, which is basically like saying, you really screwed the pooch this time. I wish it worked... the irony in trying to kill yourself and making you life worse seems to apply here. I think it liked to do it, I could see with my eyes closed so my brain was definitely on drugs, granted everything stop moving when I closed my eyes. It seems overdosing on seroquel causes some interesting effects on the brain. I hallucinated on it too which is unlike me but not entirely, for example depending on how I moved my head, things would run across the wall / roof. It was very painful though so I am not likely to do that again. Overdosing on seroquel looked to be a pretty nasty way to go, I lost motor control, my chest hurt very badly, I wanted to puke but couldn't with an extreme sedation feel.

This experience is number two in feeling like if I closed my eyes, I would be dead. Time one was a past drug overdose :-(



Dragnet
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24 Oct 2017, 8:09 pm

I wouldn't have dialed 911 if the effects came in a different order The inability walk I was fine with, but it hurt like the dickens.

I am chicken s**t coward, maybe some day I'll get it right.

Should have just laid down and died :-(



metaldanielle
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25 Oct 2017, 8:26 pm

My father is a disgusting transphobe. Without mentioning anything to me first, he ambushed my partner to bully them and tell them to stop transitioning or they aren't welcome here anymore. With me being ill and mostly homebound, he's effectively trying to keep us apart.

My partner is a better person than both of us combined. Dad won't win this. I'll run off and risk my health/life whatever. This house is a hellhole anyways.


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