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Lillikoi
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12 Aug 2017, 5:20 pm

cberg wrote:
Image[/quote

I'm repeating this mantra. :heart: No reason to let my own biology kill me. :ninja:

On an unrelated note, hey! It's Hong Kong Phooey! :D

I used to love that show.



Lillikoi
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12 Aug 2017, 5:21 pm

Trying not to get jealous of people who have friends. :evil:

It seems like every person I have known who is "lonely" or is an outcast eventually moves on and has a happy life and makes tons of other friends. I don't want to be jealous of that, I should feel happy for them, but I can't stop that feeling. :x



Lillikoi
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12 Aug 2017, 5:24 pm

I feel kind of selfish for thinking that way. I just want attention.

I feel like I'm becoming more and more like [name redacted], some selfish, attention-seeking person who is just looking for confirmation.



Lillikoi
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12 Aug 2017, 5:31 pm

If we're being honest, sometimes I do act more clueless than I am because I think it looks "cute," and I just want to be seen as cute and funny and charming, but... :|

I think a lot of the mannerisms I've adopted are just because people would see them as quirky or distinctive.

I think a lot of the reason I try to be funny is because I used to try to defuse situations through humor, and that was the only way I would be able to make anyone happy... :cry:



mikeman7918
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12 Aug 2017, 11:30 pm

Lillikoi wrote:
If we're being honest, sometimes I do act more clueless than I am because I think it looks "cute," and I just want to be seen as cute and funny and charming, but... :|

I think a lot of the mannerisms I've adopted are just because people would see them as quirky or distinctive.

I think a lot of the reason I try to be funny is because I used to try to defuse situations through humor, and that was the only way I would be able to make anyone happy... :cry:

I'm actually guilty of the same type of thing, except that I would try to present myself as being smarter then I really was because that was the only way I knew how to get people to notice me and like me.

One of my old elementary school friends thought me how to solve a Rubik's Cube once, and after some practice I got pretty fast at it. In elementary school it worked well to impress people but eventually more people learned to do it too and it became less impressive, so instead I tried everything I could to be the best at it by getting faster and by taking on different sized cubes. Currently I can solve a standard 3x3x3 cube in 55 seconds, a 2x2x2 in 20 seconds, and a 7x7x7 in 20 minutes.

Since my biggest special interest has always been space travel, I would also sometimes try to impress people with my knowledge about it because most people can't name all known dwarf planets off the top of their head or state facts about all 17 Apollo missions.

Interestingly, my character Michael Watt is loosely based on the person I pretended to be, and to make him less of a marry sue I included things like consequences for actions that were honestly selfish and short sighted on his part like the whole starting the Great Solar War thing. Much of Mike's backstory is based on daydreams I had as a kid that I re-imagined as an adult but with realistic consequences.


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cberg
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12 Aug 2017, 11:35 pm

My friend was working on one of these 'petaminx(es)' he got today:
Image

It had us both ranting.


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Edna3362
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13 Aug 2017, 2:11 am

The sun was bright and warm, so there was laundry,

Then everything went cold and dim. It rained.

Of course. :evil: Just laundry in general.


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**My** own Points.

-Anger drives me, not fear or anxiety.
-Either I'm active but odd like any child or the usual aloof of an adult.
-No references. But that does not mean I'm ignorant: just apathetic enough not to have an opinion!
-My current culture is practically THE Global Expert to the subject of 'Passing'. Not that I'm proud of it... So I knew what IS the difference between coping and adaptation, between acting and integrating, between cultures a double life-like and cultures becoming a part of yourself.
-It matters naught: You are human. If not, then you are mortal.
-I have yet to translate my knowledge to Verbal Terms.
-I'm so bored, I'll just go random and rant nonsense that may or may not make any sense.


jrjones9933
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13 Aug 2017, 2:15 am

cberg wrote:
My friend was working on one of these 'petaminx(es)' he got today:
Image

It had us both ranting.

Wow. I mean, wow. It's beautiful. I'd never solve it, but I might enjoy fiddling with it.


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C2V
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13 Aug 2017, 12:41 pm

Every time I research certain things, I regret just about my whole life.
So much of me has been permanently damaged by illnesses of the past. Even though I have recovered from two illnesses which should have killed me and survived the last 50/50% chance of survival I was given for a third problem, I didn't just get away with it. This can't happen to you and there be no consequences for later life. You recover - but that just means you don't die from it, not that it will have no effect on you even after it's cured.
I worry about the damage. Especially as one carried a high risk of brain damage. I don't know if I recovered in time, before permanent grey matter loss, which does not restore upon recovery. Neuroplasticity can only get you so far.
I also know that I can never tell anyone about any of it. I never have because it is too shameful. And I hate the fact that there are people alive in the world who know about it, but as always, they never helped me. All they did was tell me I was dead meat, and stood back to watch me die. I was the one responsible for my own survival. Me. And now, I'm supposed to have nice, normal, superficial relationships with these same people, and forget about the huge elephant in the room - a herd of elephants. We all just pretend nothing ever happened.
I just hate that it happened, and completely erasing the effects of these things from my body and later health may be impossible. Even surviving it all, even recovering, it may well have caused too much damage to ever completely reverse.
I should stop researching / thinking about these things and just get on with my damn life.


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cberg
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13 Aug 2017, 1:01 pm

I'm with you there C2V.

We're all tougher than you think.


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Raleigh
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13 Aug 2017, 4:57 pm

If I research my conditions, it tells me I'm already dead.


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Raleigh
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16 Aug 2017, 2:48 am

I'm nonfunctional in ways you could never dream of.
No, really.


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cberg
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16 Aug 2017, 3:02 am

We're pretty tough, weirdly enough.

My grittiness has been at freaky levels lately.

Thankfully friends take that down a notch or three.


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-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


IstominFan
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16 Aug 2017, 9:38 am

Warning:

These articles are damaging to our health-seriously! I try not to read this stuff, because it scares me and gives me bad dreams.



mr_bigmouth_502
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16 Aug 2017, 5:01 pm

cberg wrote:
My friend was working on one of these 'petaminx(es)' he got today:
Image

It had us both ranting.

Geez, and I thought Rubik's cubes were difficult. 8O


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