My 1st time running from a fight and I feel like a coward

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So I get a call today from my sister complaining about the same men at the gym harassing her and giving her a hard time. There was no staff, just the guys and my sister in a gym at night, so I drove all the way down south to defend my little sister. By the time I arrive I see those same low life punks and I tell them to leave my sister alone. After some exchanges the guys began to taunt me for my injuries and my arm being in a cast, with the men doing mocking impressions of my arm being limp and laughing

At one point the guy shoved my sister and told me "do something about it". I wanted to beat his ass so bad, but knowing how injured I am I knew I wouldnt win this fight so I took my sister and walked away while being laughed at and humiliated for ducking away from a fight of honor any man would take to defend his family

I promised my fiancee no more fights, but after today's incident I feel like pathetic not being able to defend my sister the way I used to be able to

If a guy cant even protect those closest to him, he has no more worth

I feel worthless.

If you would engage in this fight and these guys would start beating you to death you would expect your little sister to just stand there and watch? She would interfere and probably end up being injured too or even worse. You showed up, stopped harassment and handled this situation best way possible in your condition, not just for you, but for your little sister.

You did the right thing to protect her.
You chose your battle wisely.

The wisdom is not only how to fight but also when not to fight.

And don't get me wrong, running away from a fight is not the best way if this is a matter of her safety long term, if she is living in this neighbourhood and these guys know her, it might be worth confronting them later for "street cred" if this is your way. Even in this case physical altercation is not the right answer in most cases. I had a fair share of struggle with similar situations in my childhood and adolescence, I would engage in fights and ended up beaten many times. I started doing martial arts with intention of being able to protect myself and my loved ones by beating the s**t out of offenders, but it weirdly resulted in ability to gain respect by talking my way out of these situations and never fight again.

Those bully guys at the gym are worthless, shallow and with hardly enough brains to fill a postage stamp. . In all likelihood they're racist too. They don't respect any women, including those in their own families. You did the right thing.

You did the right thing. If you were my brother, I would be proud of you for just showing up. (I'm proud of you anyway even though you're a stranger. lol) The important thing here is that no one got hurt.

Am I the only one here who thinks, she should go to a different gym?

^I agree. In my country, there is a gym franchise specifically for women only. I can't blame them for wanting a safe space they can call their own. She should consider that.

The only gyms I frequent are climbing gyms so I don't know these realities first-hand but yes, maybe a girls-only gym would be a better choice.

You did the right thing, and it would've been the right thing even if you weren't injured. Violence should always be a last resort, something you use only when talking doesn't work and walking away isn't possible.

Since you say they've done it before, has your sister tried to talk to the gym owner or even the police? If there are other regulars, especially women, who've seen the harassment happen often, I'm sure they'd back her up. If it's just verbal harassment, the police might not do anything, but if it's also physical, then they're likely to do something. If she can take a video of the harassment, without the criminals themselves noticing of course, that would help, too. And if possible, it might be good if she spoke to a female police officer. They're said to take sexual harassment more seriously than their male coworkers. There are always individual differences of course, but I don't think it would do any harm.

Yes, it would be great if we could all work towards social justice, but speaking for myself, I'm not much of a crusader. As salad describes his sister's distress, neither is she. For those of us who are emotionally vulnerable, sometimes the simplest, best alternative is to get our needs met in a different way.

Besides, it's damn hard to change toxic masculinity.

2 comments in order:

The 1st reason why my sister doesnt just transfer gyms is because this problem happens EVERYWHERE she goes. For some context. My sister, like me, is half Russian half Palestinian. Unlike me whose genetics are more Palestinian and Syrian looking, my sister looks like an exotic Russian princess with green emerald eyes, and other features that men find attractive. No matter where she goes she gets fetishized like crazy even when she tries not to

And 2nd this gym is a cheap gym, the cheapest in the area, so it works with her limited budget.

As for why we dont call the cops this is where things enter sensitive racial territory. Remember what happened last year when those Palestinian shop owners called the cops on Floyd? Those shop owners started getting death threats, harassment and attacks all over. Ever since then Palestinians like our family have to think twice before calling the cops on blacks unless really urgent. Yes the ones harassing her are all black, and yes after the George Floyd incident Arabs have gotten a crap ton of hate and stigma for calling the cops on blacks

Well ideally she should be safe going to a gym alone at night, but in the real world this isn't safe I guess. There is not much you can do to change that.

You can't protect her every time forever. So it should be not alone and/or not at night and/or not the cheapest gym. I guess the best you can do is to buy her a gift certificate for a better, probably women-only, gym membership.

Cheap gym where you get harassed and threatened is no bargain. If I were in her situation, I'd do a serious canvass of available exercise options. Our local high school opened its weight room to the community after school hours, for instance. Some apartment complexes have an exercise center. Buying a stationary bike or treadmill (these are always being listed on social media) and a set of handweights might be an option for her home. If your sister is enrolled in classes, the school or college probably has some type of gym privileges.

I mean look, there are parts of town where no woman ought to venture out alone, at ANY time of day.

Another strategy might be for her to hook up with a regular exercise partner so she's always with a second person, male or female.

Your family has had plenty of opportunity to experience crime in the USA. There are strategies to improve one's experience, though.