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hurtloam
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16 Sep 2017, 2:15 am

I don't know what happened to me. I used to be very industrious. I used to push myself through and get things done that needed to be done. I used to be very responsible.

Now I just feel like nothing I do matters and no one cares what I do anyway, so why bother?

I strongly suspect that I'm not going to get out of bed today. It's Saturday so it doesn't really matter what I do. No one will notice if I stay in or go out.


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C2V
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16 Sep 2017, 5:09 am

You'll notice, and you're the most important person. :wink:
Why does it matter if other people care, or see, or not? You'll care. You can decide to do things just for your own benefit, just for yourself, nothing to do with anyone else's validation or praise.
Reads like you're just in a bit of a slump. It happens. Maybe you just need to do nothing for a while, to recharge, and then get back at it? Try doing things you enjoy and actually want to do, if everything feels like a chore you do just for other people?
Just an idea.


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hurtloam
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16 Sep 2017, 5:26 am

I guess I use the 'other people don't care' as an excuse not to force myself to socialise.
Ironically, I'm lonely.


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Tim_Tex
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16 Sep 2017, 5:36 am

I have been in the same situation lately. I feel like no matter what I do, and no matter how much I try to improve myself, I can never be good enough for people.


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Phrygian
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16 Sep 2017, 5:47 am

My motivation has taken a turn for the worse too. I used to have a great work ethic, but lately it seems I just can't be bothered. I used to be so passionate, but now it just feels meaningless..

I think extreme loneliness this past year is the cause.



hurtloam
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16 Sep 2017, 6:36 am

Yeah I don't think people are meant to be alone. It has an adverse effect on our health and outlook.

I got up! I've had a shower and tidied the living room.

I can't believe that's such an achievement these days.

I actually wanted to go do a voluntary beach clean today. But I was too anxious to go join in by myself, but didn't know who would want to go with me to do it.

Here's the link if anyone is curious about what I'm on about.

http://www.mcsuk.org/beachwatch/events/gbbc-map


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bobchaos
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16 Sep 2017, 7:28 am

hurtloam you're not allowed to be depressed you're my favorite WP poster :O If you go all depressive on me I'm out one of my best sources of insight! I'd gladly accompany you for that cleanup crew if there wasn't an ocean between us.

That sounds like a great way to meet some nice folks tho, maybe you should do it anyhow.

***edit*** ok, re-reading my post it kinda sounds like it's all about me but I guess my hidden point was: You're important to some people out there whether you realize it or not.



leejosepho
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16 Sep 2017, 8:51 am

Even though I still have plenty of desire to do things and be responsible, my own being industrious and pushing on through things has been ended by a combination of physical disability and depression over the past few years...and the idea of doing things for my own sake (such as even just taking a shower) seldom provides sufficient motivation. Over the past few days, however, I have forced myself to get up and do some things because I do not want to just sit-and-rot in my couch-potato chair...and those simple accomplishments have shifted my being motivated by mere survival to actually being pleased about having accomplished something.

hurtloam wrote:
I actually wanted to go do a voluntary beach clean today. But I was too anxious to go join in by myself, but didn't know who would want to go with me to do it.

I have the same kind of problem in relation to social stuff. I still have a desire to get out and do things, but doing them alone is not enjoyable like it sometimes used to be in the past when I wanted to "get away" for a while to recoup or whatever. Depression can be a real killer and I do not know what might motivate you, but I do know we must keep moving. Overall, I say there is no such thing as a loser, just those who quit trying to reach whatever goal.


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Phrygian
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16 Sep 2017, 9:17 am

leejosepho wrote:
Even though I still have plenty of desire to do things and be responsible, my own being industrious and pushing on through things has been ended by a combination of physical disability and depression over the past few years...and the idea of doing things for my own sake (such as even just taking a shower) seldom provides sufficient motivation. Over the past few days, however, I have forced myself to get up and do some things because I do not want to just sit-and-rot in my couch-potato chair...and those simple accomplishments have shifted my being motivated by mere survival to actually being pleased about having accomplished something.

hurtloam wrote:
I actually wanted to go do a voluntary beach clean today. But I was too anxious to go join in by myself, but didn't know who would want to go with me to do it.

I have the same kind of problem in relation to social stuff. I still have a desire to get out and do things, but doing them alone is not enjoyable like it sometimes used to be in the past when I wanted to "get away" for a while to recoup or whatever. Depression can be a real killer and I do not know what might motivate you, but I do know we must keep moving. Overall, I say there is no such thing as a loser, just those who quit trying to reach whatever goal.


I'm sure it's a sign of depression, in my case too. I just don't like viewing depression as an "illness", because I feel that if I could make some friends in my new city I would start smiling again. I think in 90% of cases, depression is just the by product of our circumstances.

I can relate to both of you, I really want to throw myself out there, but I just feel like I would look stupid going alone.. Yesterday I considered going to the pub for a quick beer, just in the hopes of bumping into a nice conversation with someone, but I feel like I would look really stupid going there alone. I don't know anyone in this city, and there are no aspie meet ups or anything of the sort. On top of that I work from home.



leejosepho
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16 Sep 2017, 10:28 am

Phrygian wrote:
I'm sure it's a sign of depression, in my case too. I just don't like viewing depression as an "illness", because I feel that if I could make some friends in my new city I would start smiling again. I think in 90% of cases, depression is just the by product of our circumstances.

I can relate to both of you, I really want to throw myself out there, but I just feel like I would look stupid going alone.. Yesterday I considered going to the pub for a quick beer, just in the hopes of bumping into a nice conversation with someone, but I feel like I would look really stupid going there alone. I don't know anyone in this city, and there are no aspie meet ups or anything of the sort. On top of that I work from home.

Exactly. My own depression is mostly circumstantial, I believe, not a philosophical or pill-treatable illness, and nothing treats it better for me than meaningful interaction with others. For example, there is nothing I enjoy more than being out riding on my motorcycle sidecar rig and I do enjoy the occasional honk or wave, but it is really difficult to be out there all alone without feeling like a pathetic old man now that I no longer have the stamina required for the various group rides that had kept me going for a while.


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kitesandtrainsandcats
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16 Sep 2017, 10:32 am

Hmm, if you don't have motivation does that mean you have lesstivation?
:wink:


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hurtloam
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16 Sep 2017, 10:49 am

kitesandtrainsandcats wrote:
Hmm, if you don't have motivation does that mean you have lesstivation?
:wink:


Yes


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hurtloam
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16 Sep 2017, 10:51 am

leejosepho wrote:
Phrygian wrote:
I'm sure it's a sign of depression, in my case too. I just don't like viewing depression as an "illness", because I feel that if I could make some friends in my new city I would start smiling again. I think in 90% of cases, depression is just the by product of our circumstances.

I can relate to both of you, I really want to throw myself out there, but I just feel like I would look stupid going alone.. Yesterday I considered going to the pub for a quick beer, just in the hopes of bumping into a nice conversation with someone, but I feel like I would look really stupid going there alone. I don't know anyone in this city, and there are no aspie meet ups or anything of the sort. On top of that I work from home.

Exactly. My own depression is mostly circumstantial, I believe, not a philosophical or pill-treatable illness, and nothing treats it better for me than meaningful interaction with others. For example, there is nothing I enjoy more than being out riding on my motorcycle sidecar rig and I do enjoy the occasional honk or wave, but it is really difficult to be out there all alone without feeling like a pathetic old man now that I no longer have the stamina required for the various group rides that had kept me going for a while.


Yeah I feel like that too. Medication does take the edge off, but i dont feel I can be really well unless I sort out the social interaction side of my life.


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And I cried so hard the
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Vendetta
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16 Sep 2017, 11:44 am

I lost most of my motivation a long time ago. Can't bring myself to pursue what I want to.



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16 Sep 2017, 11:42 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Yeah I don't think people are meant to be alone. It has an adverse effect on our health and outlook.

I got up! I've had a shower and tidied the living room.

I can't believe that's such an achievement these days.

I actually wanted to go do a voluntary beach clean today. But I was too anxious to go join in by myself, but didn't know who would want to go with me to do it.

Here's the link if anyone is curious about what I'm on about.

http://www.mcsuk.org/beachwatch/events/gbbc-map

Humans are social creatures. That's why we gathered in tribes then cities then nations.

Hugs

I don't have much motivation either. Going be hard making myself go to the gym every day and walk on treadmill for hour.

I don't go places anymore as I don't have friends to go with either.