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I was raped yesterday and I don't want to press charges

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Yokokurama
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13 Mar 2018, 1:37 pm

I won't go into too many details but I was raped by a close friend at his house yestersay. I have bruises on my thighs and it hurrs to use the bathroom bevause I know I was ripped internally. My boyfriend and all his friends are continually pushing me to contact the police and go get a rape kit but I don't want it. I let my boyfriend look at the blood I had internally and I almost screamed from how tender and sore I was, there is no way I am letting some doctor spread me open again, especially because it will be anally too. I am still shocked and don't know how to feel.



I have reached out to everyone I know but they all say the same thing, and some are now accusing me of lying because I don't want the police involved. Why? I have been molested before and the police didn't do anything, especially because I was too shaken up to go to the trial, and I know it would be the same thing.



Someone contacted the police anyway but I am begging them to take it back because they will probably make me go to the ER and put my privates on display for everyone to see. I hate this. All I want is a restraining order, if anything. No one respects mt wishes or understands me and they are continually pressuring me to "seek justice". Now some are saying I'm lying, and keep pushing me and pushing me.



I hate this world.



Yokokurama
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13 Mar 2018, 1:41 pm

*by a close friend of my boyfriend



Andrewdarr
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13 Mar 2018, 3:06 pm

Yokokurama wrote:
I won't go into too many details but I was raped by a close friend at his house yestersay. I have bruises on my thighs and it hurrs to use the bathroom bevause I know I was ripped internally. My boyfriend and all his friends are continually pushing me to contact the police and go get a rape kit but I don't want it. I let my boyfriend look at the blood I had internally and I almost screamed from how tender and sore I was, there is no way I am letting some doctor spread me open again, especially because it will be anally too. I am still shocked and don't know how to feel.



I have reached out to everyone I know but they all say the same thing, and some are now accusing me of lying because I don't want the police involved. Why? I have been molested before and the police didn't do anything, especially because I was too shaken up to go to the trial, and I know it would be the same thing.



Someone contacted the police anyway but I am begging them to take it back because they will probably make me go to the ER and put my privates on display for everyone to see. I hate this. All I want is a restraining order, if anything. No one respects mt wishes or understands me and they are continually pressuring me to "seek justice". Now some are saying I'm lying, and keep pushing me and pushing me.



I hate this world.


I hate this world too. That's so bad. You've been through something nobody should ever have to go through.

There is nothing I can say that will make you feel better, I'm afraid, but you have my deepest sympathy, for what it is worth.



kraftiekortie
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13 Mar 2018, 6:02 pm

I know it's hard.....but I feel you should press charges.

Your boyfriend even wants you to press charges---and that's your boyfriend's close friend who did this to you.

I know you don't want to go through the rape kit thing......



goldfish21
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13 Mar 2018, 6:15 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I know it's hard.....but I feel you should press charges.

Your boyfriend even wants you to press charges---and that's your boyfriend's close friend who did this to you.

I know you don't want to go through the rape kit thing......


Co-signed. As uncomfortable as the medical proceedings may be, they’re medical, not an uninvited invasion of privacy like rape & also in alignment with your goal of having a restraining order put against the perpetrator. Without evidence it’s unlikely you’ll get your restraining order.

Also, without evidence & pressing charges this guy may reoffend against someone else. It would be worth the uneasiness of the whole process just to help make sure he doesn’t do this again to someone else, IMO.


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Yokokurama
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13 Mar 2018, 6:43 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I know it's hard.....but I feel you should press charges.

Your boyfriend even wants you to press charges---and that's your boyfriend's close friend who did this to you.

I know you don't want to go through the rape kit thing......


Co-signed. As uncomfortable as the medical proceedings may be, they’re medical, not an uninvited invasion of privacy like rape & also in alignment with your goal of having a restraining order put against the perpetrator. Without evidence it’s unlikely you’ll get your restraining order.

Also, without evidence & pressing charges this guy may reoffend against someone else. It would be worth the uneasiness of the whole process just to help make sure he doesn’t do this again to someone else, IMO.



To me it feels uninvited and I know the rape kit is one of the most in depth and uncomfortable medical procedures that can be done. Especially because I was also penetrated anally. I can't even be kissed or touched by my boyfriend right now. I just can't stomach the idea of a rape kit, I really can't.



kraftiekortie
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13 Mar 2018, 6:55 pm

I do understand where you're coming from.

Have you thought about seeing a therapist for this?



BeaArthur
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13 Mar 2018, 8:54 pm

I haven't got any productive advice to offer you, but I'm awfully sorry you had this happen to you.


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goldfish21
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13 Mar 2018, 8:57 pm

Yokokurama wrote:
To me it feels uninvited and I know the rape kit is one of the most in depth and uncomfortable medical procedures that can be done. Especially because I was also penetrated anally. I can't even be kissed or touched by my boyfriend right now. I just can't stomach the idea of a rape kit, I really can't.


It’s not uninvited if you invite them to do it for the benefit of yourself and the greater good of civilized society by helping get a rapist off the streets/on a watch list etc.

It’s a medical examination, not a repeat of the rape that’s led to it's necessity. It’s necessary for justice, as well as healing IMO, because without going through the process & then charging him you may live in fear of him repeating this to you or someone else. Closure is important, even if it’s uncomfortable.


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13 Mar 2018, 9:23 pm

I’m sorry this happened to you. I hope you take painful steps now so you can later find peace.