Verbal Communications Differences and Difficulties Sticky

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TA DAAAA!! !
glad to move it for you, LabPet!

Merle

just watched your video, it ROCKED!! !

Last edited by sinsboldly on 10 Aug 2008, 11:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Wow - thank you sinsboldy.

Cool avatar, btw. Ok, the soggy cereal was winner. I actually commented on the man with the missing keys, but I cannot keep up the pace with your avatar rate.

Hopefully in the Haven more will have a chance to post.

the 'man' with the missing keys was a pic of John McCain, although it was pretty small, and the serial avatar . . well, it kept making me hungry for breakfast!
thanks for noticing. I love to change avatars!

Merle

Thank you....all settled into our new place here.

Braced for the new upcoming avatar (infinite supply, yes)?

infinite supply from the richness of my beautiful mind. . .

Merle

When I lived alone all communication was done by writing on paper. I had a small notepad compiled of the most often used sentences. This was for the benefit of librarians, and clerks behind the tills at banks and post offices, but their acceptance of notes was arbitrary. I was told by one bank clerk that she was not allowed to accept notes, not even after I held it up to the glass so she could just read that I was mute, and not have to physically accept the instructions. It is sad that a person would be judged as a potential criminal first, and a disable person second. Getting someone in Starbucks to accept a note was easy, but they still asked all the questions ("Drink in or takeaway? Tall, regular or grande? What kind of tea? One teabag or two?") even when I had already written full instructions on the note.

I live with my parents now, and they often speak for me. However, I hardly ever go out so this is not much of an issue. My father sometimes takes me to a coffee shop if we have a trip into town. He is the only person in my family fluent in "Rose"speak, which is my idiosyncratic and bastardised interpretation of British Sign Language.

Though I have never visited such a place it sounds like Thai restaurants have got the right idea: list the food in numbers. It is such a simple but effective concept. Perhaps I still could not ask for a meal, but the anxiety over pointing to the right words would be greatly reduced if it was possible to simply remember the number.

I hope you don't mind if I follow this thread, too! I think it's a fabulous idea!!

My brother is a selective mute with Aspergers as well. He's still young and seems to be talking more as he gets older, for example he will talk to some strangers now and he has started talking at school, which he never used to do (and I still can't shut him up when he's around me!!) but I think reading what you guys have to say would probably help us understand him even better and help me be the best sister I can. I already think part of the reason we're so close is that we 'get' each other, both being Aspergian, but it would be so nice to find some kind of an insight into what's going on in his mind when he can't speak to various people or in various places and I can see him getting so upset about it.

Please do invite your brother! He'll probably enlighten us too; he is welcome here, and you.

ViatorRose - Ditto to the 'being ignored' by libriarians, store clerks, postal workers.....I know of their 'selective illiteracy.' WHY is reading so imminently hard for some? Doubtful they would cover their ears if a NT were speaking to them but they have no qualms about ignoring one who is mute. So sorry.....on the lighter side: Have you considered sprinkling glitter on it and writing in fluorescent markers?

British Sign Language....I know just a bit of ASL but can only do finger spelling, which is arduous and few know anyway.
I will often hold up how many fingers to indicate which number - whatever works!

I hope Age1600 can join in, plus anbuend (so sorry if I misspelled her name)! And always KindgdomOfRats is good to hear from. I know there are others too.

It took an inordinately long time for me to realise that it was possible to count to 99 on my fingers alone, and not just 10. This is done simply by using the signs for 0 - 9 on the primary signing hand for the units, and again on the secondary signing hand for the tens.

For example:

(ignore the sign for 10)

So, to sign 7, hold up primary signing hand ('units') and touch ring finger with thumb.
To sign 37, hold up 3 fingers on secondary signing hand ('tens'), whilst touching ring finger with thumb on primary signing hand ('units') as before.

I am not sure this is the official way to sign numbers, but hope it might help me order something other than the first ten dishes on a Thai restaurant menu .

Does anyone else have a preferred method of communicating numbers?

http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-sig ... n-language

(If that's any use?)

Thank you lau.

And probably more understandable than binary.....

At University I'm supposed to get my accommodations implemented (right...don't laugh). I should be able to write if other's speak. I am so fortunate in that my professors are great! That's not a concern. It's the strangers I might encounter - I am afraid of being misinterpreted or even teased. I've cried in the presence of strangers and it hurts me. Just exacerbates the problem.

Merle - I'm so glad you liked my vid! Smelena did a great job compiling all my (extensive!) material. And we had fun too.
V8 thinks he'll be accosted by the paparazzi though (V8's ego thingy)
Smelena even invited V8 to travel to Alaska to Australia to 'avoid the media hype!' haha!! !

I re-found the topic.

Restaurant is probably a tough one! If it happens that I find no words or know I'll find no comprehensible words to order, and with my luck, it does happen indeed sometimes, in the pastother people ordered for me.

Recently, with ASD learning and learning about non-autistic people, I started to realise that's a big problem. Because it makes people think I'm utterly dependant on them.

Others feel/felt the need to do things for me. Whether it's family or a friend. They did it automatically usually. Even when I could order, I had to fight my way to order for myself.

So now I got good at just tapping the one I want and giving a dazzling, charming smile or laugh. It works.

I realise that I may get into a situation in which that doesn't work. But I currently get to know many new people in a way that does not make them think I need help (but that they rely on me instead). And I always like my independence best.

I decided to keep my method for now. If I have a dazzling smile, I might as well use it.

Yes, pointing works. And not just at restaurants - I do use this form which then bypasses speech.

I observe Neurotypicals also assuming I need help doing or deciding....thank you, but NO.

I live in a small town (Alaska). There is one autistic man who is a bags groceries at the local grocery. I mostly do not notice/process others, but we somehow mutually recognized each other's autism. Anyway, I had just 2 items in my basket: Applesauce (scan bar code) and a cookie (bakery item, no scan bar code). The clerk asked, "What is this?" I only said, as 1st response: 05610, quantity 1. That's the number code on the bakery rack for cookie. I guess this was confusing for the clerk - I do not know. She kept asking and I did not know what else to say. The autistic man (whom I do like) repeated to clerk, '05610, quantity 1.' Pause...then he said to her, 'That's a cookie, quantity 1.'

I guess to us (Lab Pet & other autistic man) 05610 just makes sense. Didn't occur to me the clerk probably needed to know it's a raisin cookie from the bakery. I'll never forget that moment.

Just wondering: Have others asked, or insinuated, that you are 'selectively mute?'

I suppose I am selective mute since I can and do speak some. However, this does not imply I choose not to speak at opportune moments. More specifically there are times I just cannot, for whatever reason(s).

Have any made this assumption of you? How do you respond to this question?

Unsure....

Plus I am easily verbally 'cornered,' which just means I must write before I speak for clarity.
Likewise, NVs?

heyy everybody labpet told me to come on over, so here i am hehe.

Yes, I can identify a lot with "trapped inside". It's actually traumatic when a lot of terrible things happen to you. You can think and understand perfectly well, maybe even better than average, but are more or less unable to say a word about it.

Overwhelmed already. Thanks for the thread.