The Discrepancy Gap

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If I see something that I find disrespectful then I'm not only thinking about myself (I very rarely am) but I'm thinking about other people who may be hurt by the stupidity of other people's words.

Some people are just thinking about the fact that they themselves aren't bothered by what ever happened and so therefore nobody else should be bothered.

I feel there's a massive discrepancy here.

I'm living with one of those people

It's a balancing thing, for me.

Without wishing to go into detail, in my teens I experienced some sexual abuse and I feel very uncomfortable when people make light of that subject. About 6 years ago now I got cancer in my bladder and for a year or so I had endless catheters and s**t shoved in me. It's no joke.

But people do make light of those subjects and I understand that for some people, particularly people who haven't experienced stuff like that personally, the way to deal with the darkness and awfulness of imagining that possibility for themselves is to make fun of it. It's a way of coping with terrible stuff.

So I feel uncomfortable, but personally I can't get pissed off at every person who doesn't understand my discomfort, I can't ask them to change their behaviour for me. If they're interested, I'll talk openly about that stuff because that's important too. But I won't joke about it.

But ultimately, I feel like it's my own responsibility to have some sort of resilience to other people's lack of consideration. I can't expect everyone to change to make me comfortable. So I don't.

Some people get offended by things others wouldn't so it's sometimes hard to tell. Even if you know saying something a certain way could offend someone, you're still not to know that mentioning it at all in a non-malicious way will offend.
Some things offend me, like being called a child or immature. I hate it and feel insulted, and it can sometimes be an insult to anyone, but even so I still try to keep my cool if I'm in that situation because I know that they're not to know what's going on inside my head and what they can and can't say to me, especially if they're not saying it deliberately to offend.

A discrepancy between the way you behave towards people and what you would accept from others?

Some people you run across in life are oblivious.

I think you're right.