WP Addicts Anonymous

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^Oh, you know, endlessly watching/listening to videos/songs on Youtube and not really achieving anything writing-wise...or doing anything useful.

Although I wrote a long argument about all too frequently ignored sexism and abusive behavior in a certain video game, in the hopes that at least some people will notice, so there's that.

^ sometimes it's good to do nothing for a while.

I was reading about the spiritual affects of cold, and how Buddhist monks use it in their practice to achieve an enlightened state.
The trick is to learn to accept cold instead of resisting it and you will create warmth in you body, and this goes against everything science says.
Very interesting.

^ Like the Himalayan monks who dry wet sheets with their body heat. And stand outside meditating all night, without any ill effects.
I do not know if either of those anecdotes are true, but I wouldn't put anything past the power of proper meditation and enlightenment.

I have been trying a similar practice with my ankle. No painkillers, just be aware of the pain, accept it.
So far so OKish

I got a verbal warning for absence at work (the aforementioned injury). I can appeal and I think I will.

Worst part of it was having to keep eye contact for an hour.
And answering questions about myself.
I didn't answer the way I was meant to, which meant even more questions.
And the room was too small and the notetaker was too slow, and when we adjourned I had to wait in the canteen, which was just ugh. People eating, and changing the tv channel every 5 seconds, and talking over each other, and eating again. Not rachey-friendly.

*and breathe*
Anyway, I'm home now.

Good morning to you, too.
Surely you'd want to lower your body temperature in Oz?

^ it's coming on to winter.
And I use the term "winter" very loosely there.

When I reread my posts, the grammar mistakes punch me in the nose.
Affect instead of effect, you instead of your.
I can't deal.

Anyway, ten brownie points for getting through what sounds like a trial. (Haha)
Those work inquisitions are s**t.
They try to put the fear into you, don't they?

Hi, I'm back.

I read somewhere that you can attract your romantic soulmate/partner to you by writing out a list of their best traits in the present tense, only using positive words, and then release it to the universe.
I tried that two years ago, at the end of august. Two months later I met that certain someone on this very site.

I am either completely neutral [un-emotional?] or I feel emotions so deeply to my core. I don't understand why. Could it be lingering effects from the dark years and university residence combined?

It could be the dark years or the fact that you have autism.
Emotional regulation is difficult.
I'm the same.

It might be the former, since before the dark years I emoted much more and actually felt something instead of nothing. The dark years might have numbed me, living in fear and negativity for so long.

^hmmm.
There's a big, empty space where I suspect you've posted a YouTube video?

^Yes, it's a nice song by a Japanese artist I like.

Does it work now?

^^^Genuine, scarring trauma is also a likely factor. It's odd. I'm not that old, but I feel as if I've lived for a thousand years already.

Abuse can make you feel that way, making your emotions go to another place deep inside so you can't be hurt.

^Yes, that's exactly it. Then when I want to feel things, it's hard to find them.

I tend to get emotional about little things like misplacing an object, and show no emotion for the bigger things that everyone would consider you should get emotional about, such as death.

Ow wow.
My glass candle holder just exploded.

I'm the same, though I get emotional when I feel like I've done something wrong or not done enough, or start calling myself nasty names.

Oh, dear. Are you physically unharmed by it? [What's the point of asking 'are you alright' when someone obviously isn't? I've never understood that about people.]

Beating yourself up is the highest form of identification with ego, did you know that?