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all_white
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15 May 2011, 4:12 am

Aww, I wasn't really crying! It was just the closest thing to a "sad" smiley that I could find. I felt bad that I couldn't find you a proper bedtime story.

Yay! Another Aspie who loves hugs! :bounce:

Are your daily hug needs catered for by your mum?

It seems to work by extremes. Most people on the spectrum seem to HATE physical contact far more than the average NT, but there are some of us (although we're in a minority) who seem to CRAVE it far more than the average NT. I am like that. I am a hug machine. And I don't currently have anyone to hug, which makes me sad, but at least I have my dog. He is very good for cuddling into at night, and he sleeps with me, along with my cuddly toy of course! He's nice and warm and cute.

When I was your age and still at home, I used to walk up behind my mum and hug her a lot when she was in the kitchen busy washing the dishes. It used to make her laugh sometimes, but other times she would get cross and yell at me to let go, because I still kept hugging her even if she started walking around, and it's kind of hard to walk properly when you have a human clam stuck to your back. :lol:



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15 May 2011, 4:29 am

Okay, good (:
And it's okay all_white, you tried your best, I am still very appreciative (:
You'll find that it doesn't take much to make me happy (The same to make me sad as well sadly)

Of course I love hugs, I've loved it since I was a kid. I'd hug my teacher even, I hug most of my friends (Not males, because they don't like it... But some of them don't mind ^^)

They were, but she changed in a blue moon, it really broke my heart :cry:
It's been really hard recently because there is no one to hug, I cope by hugging my teddy, without him, I'd be very sad right now, but I am trying to stay positive ^^ (Back where I use to live I'd get at least 10 hugs a day from friends. Especially my deceased Youth Minister, she was the one person I looked up to in the whole world, also someone I can trust)

Yeah, my Mum told me something about that, and I saw it on television too that they have no emotion, no love, they lack emotion then the average, while we have a little too much emotion. I met this one kid, and he told me that he had it, but he was a complete opposite to me, but similar in some ways. He didn't like eating in public in front of people (I'm fine with that now though) and he lacked love, and emotion. He was a real bad boy.

I am a hug machine too, and you're lucky to have your dog (:
My dog went to heaven a month ago :cry:

I use to do that to my Mum too!! ! (:
She'd react the same way, it sounds so funny when you say it.
I use to cling on to my Mum while she tried to walk around as well, hahas ^^

Sorry for the long wait for my reply, I was googling what "catered" meant :oops:
I told you my comprehending is bad :oops:



all_white
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15 May 2011, 5:10 am

Awww, I'm sorry I used a hard word you had to go and look up. I will try and only use words that are easy to understand.

I am so sorry to hear about your dog. :cry: That's awful!

Yes, I know that there is an idea that some Aspies lack emotion, but from what I have read on here, I don't think that's true. They do have emotions - everybody does - but perhaps they just don't choose to externalise them. Or perhaps they are just not as soppy and cheery and bouncy as we two are.

Maybe they are more detached and aloof. But that doesn't mean they lack love. There are all sorts of ways of loving people, you know. Everyone has a different way of expressing love.

Self-help book alert:

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the ... languages/

Scroll down that link to read the different ways people show love.

Although I've never read the book, I found that idea very helpful without even having to read the book. The idea is that you should arrange the five things into order of importance to you. The problem is that everyone has their own order inside their own mind, of what makes them feel most loved, and we tend to assume everyone else's is the same as our own, which isn't the case. So if people aren't doing the thing that is your number one (or two), you decide they are "unloving" by your standards, when actually they are very probably being loving by their own standards. Mine goes like this:

#1 Physical affection
#2 Words of affirmation
#3 Quality time
#? Acts of service
#? Receiving Gifts

(the last two tie for fourth and fifth place).

So, you see, I am a cuddly person who likes people saying soppy things to me and giving me lots of hugs and strokes, and until I realised that not everyone has the same order of priorities, I always thought my dad didn't love me, because when he comes to see me he doesn't hug me or say soppy things. Instead, he looks around the house to see what jobs he can do to help me.

I have since realised that doing acts of service is his number one way of showing somebody he loves them, so he does love me after all. :bounce:



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15 May 2011, 5:33 am

all_white wrote:
Awww, I'm sorry I used a hard word you had to go and look up. I will try and only use words that are easy to understand.

I am so sorry to hear about your dog. :cry: That's awful!

Yes, I know that there is an idea that some Aspies lack emotion, but from what I have read on here, I don't think that's true. They do have emotions - everybody does - but perhaps they just don't choose to externalise them. Or perhaps they are just not as soppy and cheery and bouncy as we two are.

Maybe they are more detached and aloof. But that doesn't mean they lack love. There are all sorts of ways of loving people, you know. Everyone has a different way of expressing love.

Self-help book alert:

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the ... languages/

Scroll down that link to read the different ways people show love.

Although I've never read the book, I found that idea very helpful without even having to read the book. The idea is that you should arrange the five things into order of importance to you. The problem is that everyone has their own order inside their own mind, of what makes them feel most loved, and we tend to assume everyone else's is the same as our own, which isn't the case. So if people aren't doing the thing that is your number one (or two), you decide they are "unloving" by your standards, when actually they are very probably being loving by their own standards. Mine goes like this:

#1 Physical affection
#2 Words of affirmation
#3 Quality time
#? Acts of service
#? Receiving Gifts

(the last two tie for fourth and fifth place).

So, you see, I am a cuddly person who likes people saying soppy things to me and giving me lots of hugs and strokes, and until I realised that not everyone has the same order of priorities, I always thought my dad didn't love me, because when he comes to see me he doesn't hug me or say soppy things. Instead, he looks around the house to see what jobs he can do to help me.

I have since realised that doing acts of service is his number one way of showing somebody he loves them, so he does love me after all. :bounce:


It's okay, you didn't know, and thank you, it would be a lot easier for me~ (:

I know, when we had to move my Mum was in a tough situation because we suddenly had to move within 2 weeks, if we didn't then we'd become homeless. So, we struggled and had to throw everything out (We only had a suit case and bag each in the end). And my Mum couldn't find the dogs a home, so my Mum took them to the pound, and all they said was, "We'll put them down"
So evil :cry: it's like they don't have a soul, they didn't even give them a chance.

I never thought about it that way before... I was so ignorant :(.
Now I understand a lot better, I feel dirty because I was judging people like this :(.
I didn't actually say it out loud, but I diffidently thought it.

I looked at the list and your list is actually the exact same as mine 8O
I wonder why I feel like I have a strong spiritual connection with all these people in WP? Is that just me, or is anyone else feeling that too?

And all_white, you're a good friend, thank you~ (:

Edit: I don't understand myself, I always feel like I say too much and leave it there, and sometimes I look at my post and think that I must say more. But what else is there to say? :bounce:
Think, think, think, think~
La, la, la, la, la, la~

I have nothing else to say 8O



all_white
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15 May 2011, 5:43 am

They put your dogs to sleep? Oh no, that's so awful. I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say. ((hugs))

I hope you've got a safe home now. I was recently evicted from a house and know how terrifying it is. I was frightened I would have to go and sleep in a homeless hostel, and thought I would lose my dog, too. They don't allow dogs in those hostels. But thankfully I have a nice safe warm house to sleep in after all. I hope you're safe, too. I think you must be, because at least you seem to have an Internet connection. That's a good sign that you're living in a house. :wink:

Don't worry about having seemed judgmental. At least you've got things straight now. Like I explained, I used to think that way, too, until I understood things a bit more, so we're both in the same boat! It's a very easy mistake to make, because we are only familiar with our own reality, and don't know what it's like to be anyone else, so we all tend to assume that everyone else must think the same and feel the same as us, when actually, they don't. I can't imagine how it must feel to be like them - and they probably can't imagine how it must feel to be like me.

We all go through life learning all the time, and constantly having to change our opinions. It's not bad to admit you were wrong. It's a good thing. :wink:



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15 May 2011, 6:00 am

all_white wrote:
They put your dogs to sleep? Oh no, that's so awful. I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say. ((hugs))

I hope you've got a safe home now. I was recently evicted from a house and know how terrifying it is. I was frightened I would have to go and sleep in a homeless hostel, and thought I would lose my dog, too. They don't allow dogs in those hostels. But thankfully I have a nice safe warm house to sleep in after all. I hope you're safe, too. I think you must be, because at least you seem to have an Internet connection. That's a good sign that you're living in a house. :wink:

Don't worry about having seemed judgmental. At least you've got things straight now. Like I explained, I used to think that way, too, until I understood things a bit more, so we're both in the same boat! It's a very easy mistake to make, because we are only familiar with our own reality, and don't know what it's like to be anyone else, so we all tend to assume that everyone else must think the same and feel the same as us, when actually, they don't. I can't imagine how it must feel to be like them - and they probably can't imagine how it must feel to be like me.

We all go through life learning all the time, and constantly having to change our opinions. It's not bad to admit you were wrong. It's a good thing. :wink:


Yeah, they put them to sleep. A part of me feels guilty... -hugs-

I am safe in a nice warm house (:
Well.. I have to share a room with my younger brother, but it's okay.. ^^
Better then living off other peoples donations ^^
Yeah, it is pretty scary having to move so soon.
And actually, not only were we evicted, but we had plane tickets to move.
So, the day we had to be gone was the day we had to be on the plane, we had to get up really early.
I was scared because I kept saying to myself, "I just know we'll miss this flight and we'll end up homeless, nothing ever goes right for us"
We get to the airport just in time and the machine that gives us our tickets wouldn't function, it just kept giving an error.
Before we knew it the plane took off, my mind went completely blank, I wasn't sure whether I was going to cry or run away.
All I knew was, I felt such pain, I can't even describe it. It was the most horrible thing I've ever felt in my whole life.

Very luckily though, we complained and got to get on the next flight.
We had to wait 5 hours at the airport, but I was so relived.
You had no idea how much I was shaking. What a emotional day :|.
I'm very lucky to even be in this home right now, and it's better then my old home anyways.
I'll be grateful that I have a home, I'll never be ungrateful again, not even the slightest bit.
If I get a hug for Christmas instead of a present, I'll be the happiest boy alive.

Before that I was grateful for most things, but was still a little ungrateful for some things, now ever since that day at the airport, I haven't been a bit ungrateful~

Yeah, we were all young once... But I think that parents should teach their kids all these things at a young age, so that way they grow up to become very mature, wise people (:
It's not nice to have to deal with a ignorant person after all.



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15 May 2011, 6:09 am

EgyptianCat wrote:

Yeah, they put them to sleep. A part of me feels guilty... -hugs-


Well, it clearly wasn't your fault, so try not to feel as though it was. Having said that, I am familiar with that awful sensation of feeling guilty about anything and everything, even if it wasn't my fault. I fail at taking my own advice.

EgyptianCat wrote:
I'll be grateful that I have a home, I'll never be ungrateful again, not even the slightest bit.
If I get a hug for Christmas instead of a present, I'll be the happiest boy alive.
Before that I was grateful for most things, but was still a little ungrateful for some things, now ever since that day at the airport, I haven't been a bit ungrateful~


That's the way I feel about everything, too. I am always amazed to hear people moan and complain about things that I am incredibly grateful for. "These taps are awful; they aren't mixer taps." Heck, I am grateful to have running water at all! "The shower doesn't work; there's only a bath." Hey, a bath is better than no water at all! "This cheap food sucks. How can you live off this crap?" Em, well, I am just grateful to be able to buy food at all, and not have to sift through dustbins. :roll: Edit: I've never had to do that, though there was this one time when I went out to pick nettles to make nettle soup! :lol: Fail fail fail. Nettles apparently come complete with a million spiders and flies as added seasoning. :lol:

EgyptianCat wrote:
Yeah, we were all young once


LO!L EgyptianCat, at 17 you are still young compared to me. I know you aren't young compared to a ten-year-old, but you are young compared to a lot of us here. You can be forgiven for not yet knowing about stuff that some people take a lifetime to learn!



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15 May 2011, 6:31 am

all_white wrote:
Well, it clearly wasn't your fault, so try not to feel as though it was. Having said that, I am familiar with that awful sensation of feeling guilty about anything and everything, even if it wasn't my fault. I fail at taking my own advice.


Okay, I'll try just for you~
I give a lot of advice too and fail to follow it myself (:

all_white wrote:
That's the way I feel about everything, too. I am always amazed to hear people moan and complain about things that I am incredibly grateful for. "These taps are awful; they aren't mixer taps." Heck, I am grateful to have running water at all! "The shower doesn't work; there's only a bath." Hey, a bath is better than no water at all! "This cheap food sucks. How can you live off this crap?" Em, well, I am just grateful to be able to buy food at all, and not have to sift through dustbins. :roll: Edit: I've never had to do that, though there was this one time when I went out to pick nettles to make nettle soup! :lol: Fail fail fail. Nettles apparently come complete with a million spiders and flies as added seasoning. :lol:


I remember my friend complained about the water not being filtered, I said to him, "Well, it's better then not having any water at all"
Actually, the water I have is probably worst then what you have :lol:
When I we got to our new home, I was told I wasn't allowed to drink from the taps.
I soon found out why, apparently the tank where our water comes from has too much Vitamin D, meaning if we drink it, we'll get kidney stones.
But we just buy this jug and fill it up with the tap water and it filters it, so I'm happy with that, because it puts us in the habit of putting the water in the fridge for later use so we can drink it. Besides cold water is always good~ (:

all_white wrote:
LO!L EgyptianCat, at 17 you are still young compared to me. I know you aren't young compared to a ten-year-old, but you are young compared to a lot of us here. You can be forgiven for not yet knowing about stuff that some people take a lifetime to learn!


I sounded silly there, didn't I? :oops:
Let me fit in with the adults here, I want to fit in too :oops:
But you're still young as well, all_white. I believe people aren't old until they reach the age of 60 (:
Lili (Someone I look up to) she is 53 years old and looks 30 years old. She is a very beautiful woman.
Also my best friend, very weird I know, but she is such a nice person, I don't think age matters when it comes to friendship :).

You don't think that you're old, do you? ):



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15 May 2011, 6:48 am

Well, I am old relatively speaking. Compared to you, I am old. But compared to a sixty-year-old, I am young, yes. It just depends. :shrug:



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15 May 2011, 6:56 am

all_white wrote:
Well, I am old relatively speaking. Compared to you, I am old. But compared to a sixty-year-old, I am young, yes. It just depends. :shrug:


all_white is young, la, la, la, la, la~
You're not that old (:
I know you must feel bad about your age.

Actually let me tell you something.
My teacher 小兰王 (Xiao Lan Wang) taught me that in Western cultures when you ask someone their age (Generally someone older then you) they get insulted thinking that you're calling them old.

In Chinese culture when you ask someone their age, they think of it as a compliment because you're acknowledging their experience.
You're basically saying that they're wise (:

Even if you are old, be proud of it. It shows that you're a very wise person and experienced.
But I still think you're young, nothing will change my mind~ ^^

Edit: Actually, have you seen a picture of me yet? If you haven't I'll send you in a PM~



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15 May 2011, 7:07 am

EgyptianCat wrote:

all_white is young, la, la, la, la, la~
You're not that old (:
I know you must feel bad about your age.


LOL you make me laugh, young man!

I am not nearly as devastated about being "old" as you appear to think. Don't be too sad for me. :wink:

Yes, I have seen a picture of you! You look really friendly and nice.

I doubt you will have seen a picture of me because my pics don't last long. I post them and then remove them in double-quick time!

Maybe we should consider continuing this conversation via PM now. Whilst I'm glad to have a new friend who likes chatting as much as I do, we seem to be monopolising the thread, (edit: oops, sorry. Another hard word. That means "taking control of the thread" ) and might be putting other people off from posting here. :oops:



Last edited by all_white on 15 May 2011, 7:15 am, edited 1 time in total.

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15 May 2011, 7:15 am

all_white wrote:
LOL you make me laugh, young man!

I am not nearly as devastated about being "old" as you appear to think. Don't be too sad for me. :wink:

Yes, I have seen a picture of you! You look really friendly and nice.

I doubt you will have seen a picture of me because my pics don't last long. I post them and then remove them in double-quick time!

Maybe we should consider continuing this conversation via PM now. Whilst I'm glad to have a new friend who likes chatting as much as I do, we seem to be monopolising the thread, and might be putting other people off from posting here. :oops:


Thank you ^^

I generally do that too, my picture will probably be removed by time tomorrow. I would have removed it sooner but for some reason I feel more confident about having it up longer on these forums.

You're probably right, I noticed the absence of the other members too :oops:
We're chatter boxes, hahas :lol:
It's just too much for everyone~ :bounce:



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15 May 2011, 7:17 am

Well it's better than just talking to myself like I had to do on the other thread. Remember the bit that made you laugh, where I played Truth or Dare with myself?

Tee hee!

Right, we'd better stop now! Otherwise this thread will be un-stickied and re-named "the all_white and EgyptianCat Monopoly," and people will hate us. :oops:

Anyone else please feel free to join in! We're switching to PM!

:lol:



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15 May 2011, 7:25 am

Well, I shall restore a little more variation :)
How is everyone today?


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15 May 2011, 7:27 am

I'm not feeling myself today. :scratch:


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15 May 2011, 7:27 am

Really...I was a bit like that yesterday.


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