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Aprilviolets
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10 Mar 2023, 8:41 pm

Does anyone on here get age shamed? the other day when I had my fourth Covid jab the nurse wanted my birth date and then said the usual "You don't look it" drives me mad which is why I can never tell anyone my age.
I"m careful when I talk to anyone to never say "I remember that" if they say something that happened years ago.I just say " that was before my time" instead.



klanka
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10 Mar 2023, 8:45 pm

It's a compliment,so why do you consider it shaming?



Aprilviolets
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10 Mar 2023, 8:51 pm

klanka wrote:
It's a compliment,so why do you consider it shaming?


To me it's not a compliment I feel as though it's wrong and I shouldn't be that age.



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10 Mar 2023, 9:15 pm

If she didn't mean it to be rude I don't think you should take it too personally.

But having said that I kind of understand. It's no fun being thought of as a kid when you're over 30 like I am. Sometimes it makes me feel self-conscious.

I've actually once overheard a nurse in a hospital once tell another nurse I looked like "a 30 year old kid". That really bothered me for years and still does.



InTheWild
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10 Mar 2023, 9:25 pm

If people would only add, "Not that that's old, of course," it might seem like less of an insult.



Aprilviolets
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10 Mar 2023, 9:29 pm

I just feel it's an insult, I can't even get a seniors card as it would be embarrassing if I used it.



DanielW
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10 Mar 2023, 9:32 pm

The situation you describe isn't age shaming. Age shaming is calling someone a "boomer", for instance. You were being paid a compliment. If you can't accept it in the spirt its offered, the best thing is to say nothing. Otherwise, you might end up being the rude one in the conversation. If you don't want to give your age, and are not in a situation where you are legally obligated to, you don't have to. But making an issue of it will make you look and sound churlish.



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10 Mar 2023, 10:59 pm

Aprilviolets wrote:
Does anyone on here get age shamed?


It was a HUGE problem on WP about 6 years ago, but for older ppl.



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11 Mar 2023, 1:10 am

To anyone that doesn't understand, it's not a compliment because telling someone they look good for their age or don't look it implies aging is bad. It also implies you are supposed to have wrinkles and saggy skin at that age. Not sure how old OP is but of she is 60, do people think 60 year olds are covered in liver spots and crepey skin like an 80 year old?

Young people make dumb ass comments about 30 or 40 year olds saying they look 20 or something when in fact they do look their age. If it's teenagers saying them, they're ignorant and have no idea about adults and age. I was once told I looked 16 when I was 32 and he was 24. Like what did he think a 30 year old looked like?


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11 Mar 2023, 1:17 am

"You do not look that old" is a compliment to some, and an insult to others.  It all depends on the person on the receiving end.  Sensitive or self-conscious people may not like hearing any reference to their age or appearance.

Personally, I like hearing such flattery directed at me.  Sure, compliments about my age and appearance are likely insincere (or outright lies), but so what?  They make me feel good anyway.


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Aprilviolets
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11 Mar 2023, 2:59 am

League_Girl wrote:
To anyone that doesn't understand, it's not a compliment because telling someone they look good for their age or don't look it implies aging is bad. It also implies you are supposed to have wrinkles and saggy skin at that age. Not sure how old OP is but of she is 60, do people think 60 year olds are covered in liver spots and crepey skin like an 80 year old?

Young people make dumb ass comments about 30 or 40 year olds saying they look 20 or something when in fact they do look their age. If it's teenagers saying them, they're ignorant and have no idea about adults and age. I was once told I looked 16 when I was 32 and he was 24. Like what did he think a 30 year old looked like?


I will be 60 this year but I feel I can't tell anyone because they just look at you as if you have two heads.
when I was in my 30's I was wearing a t shirt that had the 1988 brisbane expo Mum bought it for me and someone said you would have been very young when that was on.
I happened to be working when the expo was on. :evil:



IsabellaLinton
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11 Mar 2023, 3:33 am

I think it shows a lack of theory of mind from whoever says it.
They know your age because you've told them or shown ID.

A man can't really say "You look beautiful" if that's what he thinks.
It would also be a little cringey for a woman to say it.
Instead, they assume it's a welcome compliment to say you look young.
It doesn't occur to them that we don't need their commentary either way.

Chances are they're also just making small-talk.
Maybe they say it to lots of people at the jab clinic because people are stressed.



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11 Mar 2023, 3:36 am

Fnord wrote:
"You do not look that old" is a compliment to some, and an insult to others.  It all depends on the person on the receiving end.  Sensitive or self-conscious people may not like hearing any reference to their age or appearance.

Personally, I like hearing such flattery directed at me.  Sure, compliments about my age and appearance are likely insincere (or outright lies), but so what?  They make me feel good anyway.


<klears throat>
You look fantastic!
:mrgreen:



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11 Mar 2023, 4:09 am

When you're 30 and they say you dont look that old, that is when s**t hits the fan.


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11 Mar 2023, 4:45 am

Rexi wrote:
When you're 30 and they say you dont look that old, that is when s**t hits the fan.


Dinosaur s**t? :scratch:



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11 Mar 2023, 5:10 am

Pepe wrote:
Rexi wrote:
When you're 30 and they say you dont look that old, that is when s**t hits the fan.


Dinosaur s**t? :scratch:

:oops: Young dinoasur manure


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