Warp a Christmas Song

Post Reply New Topic

My nuts roasting on an open fire
vomit dripping from my nose
I've been trashed many times, many ways
Merry Christmas, to booze.

Got a new one:

We wish you a crappy christmas,
We wish you a crappy christmas,
We wish you a crappy christmas,
And a boring new year.

Do nothing but eat,
And get a few treats.

We wish you a crappy christmas,
And a boring new year.

I Want a Routemaster Bus for Christmas

I want a Routemaster Bus for Christmas
Only a Routemaster Bus will do
With a half cab at the front and a pole at the back
I only love Routemaster Buses
And red Routemaster Buses love me, too!

Ding! Ding!

you better watch out, you better not shout, greyhelium is pwning your town

You better watch out, you better not cry, one word out of you and your going to die, Santa's Clause Is Gunning You Down!

Back-alley Fight,
Late-night Fight,
Blood on the ground,
cuts from the knife.

Only one comes out alive,
Only one comes out alive.

Are you ready children? (yes! yes! yes!)

Put the teacher in the cold snow
Well he wouldn't like to know
He's gives to much homework, on somebody's face
Unless you're swot
or not
lock the doors
So we can avoid homework

Well I wish it couldn't have homework, every day
When the kids start struggling and thier brains start to explode
Well I wish it couldn't have homework, every day
So we can have free time

When we're cannot skating in the park
because the homework blocks its and t's dark
Then your angry face gonna explode thinking way
Now the writting hands appear
And the dullness comes up my ear
there nothing we can do about it
'til we done it all away

Well I wish it couldn't have homework, every day
When the kids start struggling and thier brains start to explode
Well I wish it couldn't have homework, every day
So we can have free time


Put the teacher in the cold snow
Well he wouldn't like to know
He's gives to much homework, on somebody's face
So if dullness brings that were grey
All along the boring Way
I'll sign my name on the homework
Then it may decide to stay

Well I wish it couldn't have homework, every day
When the kids start struggling and thier brains start to explode
Well I wish it couldn't have homework, every day
So we can have free time

Okay you lot - take it!

Well I wish it couldn't have homework, every day (Dull day)
When the kids start struggling and thier brains start to explode (Uh-oh)
Well I wish it couldn't have homework, every day
So we can have free time

Why don't you give your hate for homework?

(Put the teacher in the cold snow)
(Put the teacher in the cold snow)
(Put the teacher in the cold snow)
(Put the teacher in the cold snow)
(Put the teacher in the cold snow)
(Put the teacher in the cold snow)

http://www.cthulhulives.org/Solstice/

Mind you I didn't make these

Deck the Halls with poison ivy
Falalalalalalalala

Tis the season to be naughty
Falalalalalalalala

Break a window, pop a tyre
Falalalalalalalalala

Set the teacher's hair on fire
Falalalalalalalala

I spam you a Merry Christmas
I spam you a Merry Christmas
I spam you a Merry Christmas
And a Garlic New Year

Jingle Bells
Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
The Batmobile broke a wheel
And the Joker got away.

I'm surprised this oldie hasn't been posted yet.

Jingle Smell,
Santa Fell,
Robin ate an egg.

Batmobile had a spiel
Because Joker hates croquet!



Okay...that one above was one that I made up on the spot (and is sort of bad! lol) Anyways, here's one below of the Australian version of Jingle Bells...

Dashing through the bush,
in a rusty Holden Ute,
Kicking up the dust,
esky in the boot,
Kelpie by my side,
singing Christmas songs,
It's Summer time and I am in
my singlet, shorts and thongs

Oh! Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,
Christmas in Australia
on a scorching summers day, Hey!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, Christmas time is beaut!,
Oh what fun it is to ride in a rusty Holden Ute.

Engine's getting hot;
we dodge the kangaroos,
The swaggie climbs aboard,
he is welcome too.
All the family's there,
sitting by the pool,
Christmas Day the Aussie way,
by the barbecue.

Oh! Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,
Christmas in Australia
on a scorching summers day, Hey!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, Christmas time is beaut!,
Oh what fun it is to ride in a rusty Holden Ute.

Come the afternoon,
Grandpa has a doze,
The kids and Uncle Bruce,
are swimming in their clothes.
The time comes 'round to go,
we take the family snap,
Pack the car and all shoot through,
before the washing up.

Oh! Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,
Christmas in Australia
on a scorching summers day, Hey!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, Christmas time is beaut!,
Oh what fun it is to ride in a rusty Holden Ute.


Here's also the link to the site I got the Aussie Jingle Bells from (with some more songs):

http://users.tpg.com.au/sharenet/c/jinglebells.html

I rule the World, my slaves will come,
I command you now,
Let the universe be mine


I'm dreaming of a fright Christmas
just like I used to kill
When pee glistens
Children listens
to hear screams of a till

Jingle hells, jingle hell
Santabot kill all the way
Run away from him

o_o.... scary stuff