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Well you know what they say, you can't make an omelat without breaking a few eggs.

I'm simply glad the day is basically over as, during work today I not only wound up making some mistakes here and there but, along with that came the heckling by other employees due to that .Anyways, I'm going to try to keep away from thinking of such for the time being.Well, seeing as tomorrow is Halloween there was this Halloween costume party and movie night that is being hosted by a family whom has 3 adults on the spectrum whom,. have sent out invitations to many people on the spectrum in the local community however, where the event is being held happens to be 3hrs away in a place that I'm totally unfamiliar with..So, I might miss out on this social gathering as such but, I'll try to enact some sort of alternative contingency plan to deal with this..

Today I got a diagnosis. Either Asperger or HFA, and apparently more severe then I think it is.

Don't know what to think or do now.

I'll go to bed (I'm in Europe) and sleep on it for the night.

I hope I got a good grade on my History mid-term.

I must be sad, I'm listening to "Untitled 1".

^
(hint maybe) In sadness, I try to listening to music that kinda lift my spirit. Not songs that make me dwell into that state of mind. I pick the rougher stuff and go a tad aggressive even listening to it. For me goes (not always of course and I'm bizarrely sensitive to music), aggression stands opposite of feeling down. I listen to heavy guitar shite or top drawer quality stuff (sub. opi.), exercise, kinda demolish my piano playing it (or a door) and it turns stuff going down.... sometimes.

~

But my preset intend to post here was this, is this....

I'm not catholic in any, any.... any way but today was All Souls' Day and I went to my fathers grave or better to the cemetery where his grave is.

Um, my niece (early twenties) is an artist and she invited me for there was an exhibition there, where all sorts of works of artists were shown. Hers too. The theme was life, death and remembrance of those who passed away.

It started at 18h00 but I arrived at 20h30.... sun already left for hours but the moon was there (a few days before turning full) and the whole cemetery was lit with candles and oil pots flaming and I never have seen the cemetery this crowded.

Well, to make a long story shorter, I wish I've never gone there. It all felt so double and awkward. To me that place is a place for serenity, tranquility and this, my perception of course, was bizarre.

It usually is such a beautiful and quiet place.... a park like setting with lots of trees and cultivated nature. I just hope they clean up real neat so I can....

Stupid I went there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpST2d_7 ... re=related

AFI's "We've Got the Knife" keeps looping in my head.
I don't know why. Sure, it's catchy enough... but....


Oh well. It could be worst. At least it isn't something I hate.
Silly brain is always doing this to me.

I was born in the wrong era (and probably the "wrong planet").. It's really depressing. I don't want to be a cog in the machine. I'm supposed to be moving to San Francisco in 5 months, but that seems so far away.

Even after my diagnosis my family seems to pretend I never did. Nobody researches anything to understand me, and I still get the same expectations from people when they should realize by now that I'm not like everyone else...for a reason. I really can't wait to get away from here.

I am bored.

I'm Chairman of the Bored

At the moment I'm simply watching an episode of a favorite tv show on youtube..

when a young musician like say "elton john" starts out, they are like a "convection oven" in that their creativity radiates convectively.

then, later in their lives, they become "fan forced ovens" and the tenderness and succulence of their musical offerings becomes dry and wrenched into their "fans" expectations.

Random thought wise, I'm about to bring my daily postings here on WP to their conclusion for, I'll be spending the rest of the day simply enjoy the nice weather and also might try venture to the theatre therefore, upon my logging out of here I wish everyone a nice afternoon and evening as well, Happy Halloween..

Bye

I've changed my avatar!! !