How to land a jet in 10 easy steps

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In case any of you guys find yourself in a situation where a terrorist hijacking has been averted, but both pilot and copilot were slain and no one else has a clue on how to fly a plane, this will help you get the basic job done. The controls may differ from aircraft to aircraft, but as long as you can communicate with air traffic control and get them to line you up with an ILS enabled runway, simly follow these steps to ensure a landing with minimal casualties:

1: Once you find a runway and are lined up with it, set up the ILS. The easiest way is to tune the NAV radio to the runway's frequency and heading (all information which the ATC should know.) To tune the frequency, first find the radio stack. There should be a standby and active freqency. Tune the frequency of the stand by and then switch with the active using the freq switch button. All of these should be near the radio stack. to tune the heading, find the Omnibearing selector for the navigation panel, and turn it until the navigation bearing matches the runway's heading.

2: Once the ILS is set, use the autopilot to fly towards the runway at an altitude around 2,000 feet above the ground. Your speed should be as low as possible. Use the autothrottle feature on the autopilot panel to adjust and hold it.meanwhile, keep an eye on the ILS.

3. Once the horizontal indicator on the ILS starts moving toward the ground, deatcivate the heading and altitude control on the autopilot and activate the approach control. Put your flaps down about midway using the lever near the throttle. Reduce speed to the minimum required to keep you in the air, and lower the landing gear.

4. With the autopilot set to approach the aircraft should start descending on its own twoards the runway. Once it gets close enough, deactivate the autothrottle, then move the throttle levers back to 0.

(do the remaining steps in quick succession)

5. When the aircraft touches the ground, deactivate the autopilot.

6. Pull the spolier lever all the way to activate the spoilers.

7. Pull the throttle lever all the way back to activate reverse thrusters.

8. Reduce your flaps to 0.

9. Slam on the brakes until the aircraft comes to a stop.

10: Lean back in the pilot's chair amongst the dead body of the captain, and think about that big shiny medal you're going to get from the President.

And that's it.

Course, this has never happened before, and the odds on it happening ever are astronomical, but hey, trouble never really liked odds, and you must always be ready for trouble... even 18,000 feet in the air.

See you guys around.

Roxas

That's too much to remember and the fact that it is too unlikely for this to happen provides no motivation for me to learn it well.

Just get you a flight sim and practice before your next trip
You'll do just fine!

Somebody has been watching disaster movies all Christmas

Ed Almos

someone watched the end of soul plane

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lol

...I'll stick to traveling by rail.

Personally I'd be more worried about the snakes than the terrorists.

paranoia will destroy u roxsas.....

Actually a scenario like this ran through my head when I heard that on one of the planes involved in 9/11 the passenger had taken up the fight with the hijackers. I'v been "flight-simulating" quite a lot on my machine, so I thought I might actually be able to get the thing on the ground siginificantly more gently than what the hijackers eventually did.

Remember that old aviation joke: A good landing is one that you can walk away from. An excellent landing is one that allows the aircraft to be used again!

While we're on the subject, has anyone seen that episode of Mythbusters where they tested this same scenario?

Too much aircraft terminology for the average Joe (or the aspie Joe XD) to be able to remember. Dumb it down a bit.