The last bit of Bloodhound Gang's "Hell Yeah", which is mostly a song about what the singer would do if he were God:
And when they nail my pimpled ass to the cross,
I'll tell them I found Jesus, that should throw them off,
He goes by the name Heysus and steals hubcaps from cars -
Hey, Heysus, can I borrow your crowbar
To pry these Goddamn nails out? They're beginning to hurt!
Crucified and all I got was this lousy T-shirt,
"I can't believe it's not butter," I'll sing as I'm flogged,
Yeah, that's what I would do if I were God
So vote for me for Savior and you'll go to Heaven;
Lame-duck God's like Kevin Spacey in "Seven",
With creepy threats of H-E-double-hockey-sticks -
You just can't teach an old God new tricks
But would I be a good messiah with my low self-esteem?
If I don't believe in Myself, would that be blasphemy?
Just put on a crummy holier-than-thou facade -
Yeah, that's what I would do if I were God...
(NOTE: Yes, I know that the Spanish name is also spelled "Jesus", but the phonetics don't really come across that way, do they?)
_________________
Sodium is a metal that reacts explosively when exposed to water. Chlorine is a gas that'll kill you dead in moments. Together they make my fries taste good.